


Crossroads

by markaleen



Category: Taxi (TV)
Genre: Crossroads, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Rewrite, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:00:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 45,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26404615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/markaleen/pseuds/markaleen
Summary: A year and a half into her relationship with Arnie, Elaine is faced with a domino effect of life-changing decisions when he receives a job offer in Chicago. (Rewrite of a fic I wrote in 2012)
Relationships: Elaine Nardo/Alex Reiger, Elaine Nardo/Arnie Ross
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	1. Arnie and Elaine

**Author's Note:**

> I've rediscovered Taxi over the last few months and after reading through my old stories, I wanted to revisit this one I wrote in 2012. It was one of my all-time favorite fanfictions to write and I enjoyed it just as much this time around. I've kept the original story up on ffnet for memories (...and for any other poor soul coming into the Taxi fandom only to find a lack of content...) but this version has some major differences from the first. Overall the plot is the same but I've extended/added some parts and condensed/removed others. Eight more years of writing experience have helped, too... I hope you enjoy it!

" _Well, it looks like you may be stuck with me."_

" _Yeah, I guess I am… and you know what? I love it."_

It'd been nearly a year since that disaster of a dinner… Arnie's nerves as he met Jennifer and Jason for the first time, Jennifer and Jason turning into little monsters as he bribed their affections… Elaine was sure she'd made a terrible mistake. How the night ended with hints of a future with this man still baffled her.

Arnie wasn't her dream man. Far from it – at least in the sense of the kind of man she saw herself with. He was the exact opposite of her ex-husband and her usual pick. He wasn't tall with strapping good looks. He was a timid, average-looking man give or take a few inches. He was nervous yet full of courage when he set his mind to it. Their first date had her thrown for a loop, especially hearing Simka saw him as the man she was destined to be with. She wasn't sure then. What is the response to respond to a guy who blatantly admits to wondering what she looks like naked and broken over the fact he isn't rich enough to attract her? Run came to mind, yet, there was an endearing quality. Now? It was hard to say.

She loved him, that much was certain. His awkward jokes saved themselves for appropriate times and his guard had dropped immensely. It was a different kind of love and attraction than she was used to, though. He didn't sweep her off her feet, but there was substance. They could talk, they could joke, he cared deeply for her as well as her kids. Fiery romances didn't often come with these. The longer she was with Arnie, the less she longed for whirlwind affairs.

He was a good man. And, she decided, it was time to allow herself someone decent.


	2. Wedding Bells?

"Hey, Elaine!"

Elaine smiled as the guys said their hellos. She walked over to their table, asking about their days to which they gave their typical answers.

"Fine."

"Good."

"Not too bad."

A good sign, she thought. She wouldn't be interrupting more than their poker game. Touching Alex's shoulder, she said quietly, "Could I talk to you alone for a minute?"

A look of annoyance fell over him until he looked up and saw the seriousness in Elaine's expression. Saying goodbye to his good hand, he stood and led her away from the group. "Something wrong?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure. Well, you know that things have been getting pretty serious with Arnie." Alex nodded and she continued. "Well… tonight we have dinner plans at this nice Italian restaurant."

Alex nodded, then shrugged himself when she failed to continue. "And what? You don't like pasta?"

Rolling her eyes, she said, "Very funny. It's not so much the restaurant. It's the price of it along with telling me he has something 'huge' he wants to discuss."

Well aware of the progression of Elaine and Arnie's relationship, Alex grinned. "You think he's going to propose?"

With a half-smile, she replied. "It crossed my mind."

"How do you feel?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure." She sighed. "I love him. I think he's wonderful and we've been happy together."

When she trailed off, Alex pushed. "But?"

"But… I don't know if I'm ready for that commitment with him." Shaking her head, she grabbed hold of his forearm. "You've seen us together… what do you think?"

"What do you mean 'what do I think'?"

"Exactly what I said." With emphasis, she repeated, "What do you think? I want your opinion."

Letting out a breath and patting her hand which was still holding his arm, he said, "Elaine… It's not my place to say anything."

"It is when I'm asking you. Come on, I want to know your thoughts. I can take it."

Again, Alex sighed, meeting her eye and keeping locked for several seconds. Finally, he gave in. "You seem happy when you're with him. He's good to you, too. Better than any of the other guys I've seen you with."

"Really?" she smiled.

"Really."

"You're not just saying that?"

Alex chuckled. "No, I'm not just saying that." He paused, then went on. "Do you remember last week when Arnie joined us all for breakfast at Mario's?"

Elaine nodded.

"He was telling some story and when I looked over at you… you were beaming. I've seen a side of you with him that I haven't seen before – at least not often. I like seeing you that way. I think it'd be foolish to turn down his proposal."

Elaine smiled. "You mean it, don't you?"

"I do."

Throwing her arms around him, she said, "You are the sweetest, you know that? Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you." As she stepped back from him, she finished, "I'm going to go get ready."

A smile still on his face, Alex waved goodbye as she left. Once she disappeared through the doors, the smile faded. _That's that_ , he thought.

He'd missed his chance. Six years of chances, really, to admit to her and himself that he was crazy about her. He hadn't been short of opportunities. There had even been times when he was a breath away from telling her everything, but the fear of losing the friendship they had always prevailed.

Marrying Arnie would be for the better, he kept telling himself. It settled the matter for once and for all: They were friends and always would be. He'd just have to bury his feelings a little bit deeper this time. Besides, Elaine really did seem happy with Arnie, and seeing Elaine happy made him happy even if he wasn't the one she was happy with.


	3. Lovely Flowers For A Lovely Girl

"Coming!" Elaine shouted as she rushed to answer the door. She was greeted by a grinning Arnie, proud of the bouquet of flowers he was holding in his hand.

"Hiya, sweetheart! These are for you." He handed Elaine the flowers after giving her a kiss. "Don't you look like a million bucks."

With a giggle, she said, "Aw, thank you. These are lovely. I'll go put them in some water and then I'm ready for dinner."

"Sounds good," he said. After Elaine slipped into the kitchen, he started pacing the living room. "So… are Jason and Jennifer home?"

"No," Elaine answered, "they're with their father this weekend."

"Ooh," he crooned. "Does this mean that you and I get the place to ourselves for all that time?"

Elaine laughed, speaking coyly over the water she was running. "Yeah, I guess it does." Setting the vase on the counter, she then rejoined Arnie in the living room. "Thank you again. You know how much I love roses."

"Lovely flowers for a lovely girl."

She smiled. "You're a dear. How did I get so lucky?"

"That's funny," he said. "I was just wondering the same thing."

After another kiss, Elaine grabbed her coat and they were on their way to dinner. Her mind spun with the different scenarios that might arise tonight. This was Arnie, after all. He wasn't a man of tradition. No, he'd think of something sappy to do like hide the ring on her plate or arrange for the violinist to play a song at their table. He'd be nervous, that's for sure, never able to say what was on his mind without a performance around it. In any case, she rehearsed her answer, forgetting the act that Arnie's proposing was only a hunch, not definite.


	4. A Proposal?

Dinner went along as always, frustrating Elaine with wondering if he was ever going to propose. He must have gotten cold feet. _Of course_ , she thought. He needed a push.

"So, Arnie… What was that big thing you wanted to talk to me about? To be honest, I've been wondering about it all day."

"Oh that," he said through a mouthful of antipasto. "Well, I guess now is as good a time as any." Swallowing his food, he reached across the table and covered her hand with his. "Elaine," he started, but stopped short.

"Yes?" she replied all too eagerly.

Arnie continued. "Elaine, I've received a wonderful job offer."

Her expression went blank. After several seconds of staring at him, she said, "What?"

"I got offered a new job."

Through muted disappointment, she stammered. "Oh? Well, that's… great! I'm happy for you. What's the job?"

"My boss wants to make me Vice President for the Chicago branch! Isn't that great?"

Arnie currently worked as a manager in a small New York bank, however, Elaine knew, there had been talk of expansions throughout the East and Midwest. It wasn't the most exciting job (and Arnie was the first to admit this), but he did his work with pride. This was the kind of boost he'd always hoped for.

"Yes," Elaine said after another pause, forcing a smile. "That's really… wonderful."

Arnie frowned. "Is everything all right? You don't seem as thrilled as I am."

Perking up, she said, "Oh, no – I am! Honest, I am."

He shook his head. "I'm not buyin' it, sweetheart. I mean, I'm naturally paranoid as it is but I think there's a reason for this current bought of palpitations."

Dropping her facade, she asked, "Does this mean you're leaving New York?"

"Well, yeah. I think the commute would get to be a little much, don't ya think?"

"I guess that was a stupid question," she laughed.

"There's more," he grinned.

Perking up for real this time, she questioned, "There is?"

"Of course! You didn't think that I'd shell out a hundred bucks for dinner just to say, 'See ya, babe, I'll be going now. Make sure to write,' did you?"

"Well…"

"Don't be silly." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Elaine, I want you to come with me."

Her eyes grew wide. "To Chicago?"

"Yes, to Chicago."

To Arnie, her silence lasted a solid hour. In reality, it took her a few minutes to speak again. "This is so sudden."

"Would a few days to think about it help?"

She nodded. "Yeah, that'd be good. When do you need to know by?"

"Let's see… well, I leave for Chicago in two weeks—"

"Two weeks?" she interjected. "You mean you accepted it already?"

Puzzled, Arnie replied, "Yeah… was that a bad idea?"

"No," she quickly corrected. "I guess its presumptuous of me to think that you wouldn't have. It's a great opportunity."

Panic beginning to show, Arnie started babbling. "Should I have talked about it with you first? Darn it! Why don't I even think these kinds of things through? It's just that I've never been in such a serious relationship. I'm used to my bad decisions only affecting me. Geez, Elaine, I'm sorry."

"No, Arnie, please. Don't be sorry." She tapped his fingers with hers. "I'm glad you took the job. I wouldn't want to get in the way."

Taking both of her hands this time, he said, "Sweetheart, don't think that I didn't think of you and the kids at all. I kind of hoped that this would be a perfect opportunity for us to start a life together."

"What do you mean? Like… marriage?" she asked hopefully.

"Maybe," he answered nervously. "Eventually… not right away. I mean, I'll need time to adjust to the new job and new city. I've lived in New York my entire life and have barely crossed the state line, you know? But I am sure that I want you by my side."

"Oh," was all she could say. Another minute passed before she said, "Let me think about it over the next few days. I have to consider what this means for Jennifer and Jason, too. I need to talk it over with them."

"I know," he said with a sympathetic smile. When she failed to even feign a smile, he turned serious. "I love you, Elaine. No matter what you decide."

With a nod, she said, "I love you, too."

They finished the rest of their dinner in silence.


	5. More News

Sensing Elaine needed space after his announcement, Arnie didn't push for an invitation to stay. He dropped her home, said goodnight, and prayed for the best – sincerely hoping her answer would be yes. Once she was gone, Elaine poured herself a drink and slumped down on the couch, the glass never leaving her hand.

What was she going to do? There was too much to consider. The kids, her job at the gallery, her friends at the garage, and New York City in general. Growing up in Buffalo, she was no stranger to the city as a child. She knew she'd live there someday and had plans to make it big. At least she'd achieved half of her dream, she thought. In any case, New York was her home. She wasn't sure if she'd ever feel otherwise.

She flashed back to a couple of years ago when she'd been offered a great job in a Seattle art gallery. Thankfully this time she had a few days to decide rather than a few hours. Hopefully, she would be able to spare Arnie the tantrum she threw. But that was then… the circumstances were entirely different. She wouldn't be alone this time, she'd have Arnie. He was committed to her even if he wasn't ready to propose. There wouldn't be pressure to take full responsibility for herself and the kids. Still, she needed to contribute. Would she be able to get a job there? She was sure there were art galleries, but would there be any that wouldn't require her starting at the bottom again? It'd taken years to make the little headway she had here. She wasn't sure she had it in her to do it again. Driving a cab was out of the question. Fortunately, she was sure Arnie wouldn't argue this point with her. He'd be thrilled to see her make it out of the garage and get away from the danger that came with it.

There was so much in New York she loved and couldn't imagine living without… but what about Arnie? Was everything else worth trading him? She couldn't remember being in a more solid relationship. He knew how to make her laugh and smile even when she was in a bad mood. He loved her kids which was a major factor. Which brought her to thinking, how would the move affect them? How would _not_ moving affect them? They'd never been so attached to one of her boyfriends. She was worried about what a breakup might do. At the same time, there was the question of being farther away from their father. All of these thoughts rushed to Elaine at once. She couldn't help but cry.

It took a while, but when she finally calmed herself down, she resigned to the fact no decision could be made tonight and the best thing she could do it sleep. Tomorrow she'd talk to the guys and get their opinions. That was one thought she couldn't bear to ponder too deeply. Leaving them would break her heart. It brought her to tears again. When the phone rang soon after, she forced herself to regain her composure.

"Hello?" she answered, unable to cover the hoarseness of her voice.

"Hey, Elaine!" Simka greeted cheerfully on the other end.

Trying to cheer up but not doing a good job of it, Elaine replied, "Hi, Simka. How are you?"

"Elaine, I have the most wonderful news!" Simka squealed, oblivious as always.

This managed to bring a smile to Elaine's face. "It sure sounds like you do. What is it?"

"I'm going to have a baby!"

Elaine gasped, her own life melting away for a moment. "Oh my goodness, you are?!"

"Yes, yes, yes!"

"Oh Simka, this is wonderful! I am so happy for you and Latka."

"Thank you! You just had to be the first of our friends that I told."

Elaine smiled. Over the past few months, she and Simka had forged a close friendship. A bond started to form the night Latka received news that his Uncle Dabi was ill and he had to fly back home to their country. Simka couldn't go along because she was in the final stages of getting her citizenship. It was the first time in their marriage they would be apart. Seeing how upset Simka was, Elaine offered to stay the night with her. Simka had been hesitant, not wanting to be a bother but also because she wasn't sure what they'd be able to talk about past dinner. To both of their surprise, they were up late into the night. They weren't strangers but nothing had ever clicked until then. They talked about things neither had shared with other people in years, if at all, sharing stories from their childhood or the pressures they were under in the world. Elaine realized how much she missed having another woman to talk to. She spent so much time with the guys, it felt as though she was one of them. Simka was thrilled to have a good friend outside of the church. From then on, they saw or spoke with each other at least every other day.

"That's so sweet," Elaine replied before asking, "How far along are you?"

"About three months the doctor said."

"That's so great, Simka!"

"I know. I'd love to talk more but I have to tell everyone else now. I'll call you tomorrow."

"All right, I'll talk to you them." She was about to say goodbye, but then thought, "Oh, wait… Simka?"

"Yeah?"

"Is there any chance you can come by the garage tomorrow? There's something I want to talk to you about."

"Sure thing," Simka answered. "Besides, I want to show you my pictures."

"What pictures?" Elaine questioned.

"You know, those ones the doctor takes. The ones of the baby.

"Oh, you mean a sonogram?"

"Oh yeah, that's what it's called."

With a laugh, Elaine said, "Sounds great. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"You betcha. Bye-bye!"

"Bye, and congratulations again!"

"Thank you!"

Elaine hung up the phone, leaned back, and smiled. After a moment, though, her smile faded.

"Well," she said aloud, "guess I need to add this to the list of reasons to stay in New York."


	6. Opinions

The next morning began with a hangover for Elaine. It was a bad habit of hers to drink heavily when she was upset. Fortunately, she'd managed not to down the whole bottle as per usual under so much strain. Sluggishly, she crawled out of bed, shocked to see that it was almost noon. After taking something from her head and forcing down some brunch, she left for the garage.

When she got there, to her dismay, she was greeted only by Louie. The others were either on the road or hadn't come in yet. Louie looked up from his papers, giving her the smarmy smile he reserved just for her.

"Well, hello there, Nardo. About time you showed up. Though I can't say I'm surprised. Word on the street is you had a big date with Mr. Ross last night." He chortled.

Her instant reaction was a groan. He had a way of knowing the times she was the least able to tolerate him.

"Look, Louie," she said with a stern voice. "I'm not in the mood for this today."

Louie gasped, pretending to be offended. "Gee, I dunno what to say. I mean, all I said was a simple hello. How am I supposed to know there's trouble in your love life?"

Elaine rolled her eyes. "It's never a simple hello with you."

As she started walking away, Louie came out of his cage and followed, pursuing his act. "Nardo, I… I just can't believe you feel that my interest is out of anything more than friendship. If not friendship, the general concern a boss feels for his employee. You couldn't be more wrong. I'd be lying if I said… if I said that I'm not hurt… but hey, it's nothing a roll in the hay won't cure." He laughed his infamous Louie DePalma laugh.

"Would you knock it off?" Elaine yelled. "I have enough on my plate right now. I don't have anything left to deal with you!" She'd been in the motion of pulling out the chair to sit but instead slammed it back on the ground.

Louie knew enough when to back off from her. Despite his cheap passes and suggestions, he did care for Elaine and could see now that something was genuinely bothering her. She'd since moved over to the bench by the coffee machine. Cautiously, he walked over to her again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, façade dropped.

Elaine scoffed. "With you? I don't think so."

Louie sighed. "Look, Nardo. I know I can be a real pest sometimes… I don't mean anything by it. Okay. I mean some… okay, a lot. But I do wish you'd tell me what's got you so peeved."

She thought for a moment, supposing that getting Louie's opinion wouldn't be the worst idea. Though they were few and far between, he did have his human moments.

"Well…" she hesitantly started. "Arnie accepted a promotion that requires him to move to Chicago." Louie nodded and she continued. "He's asked me to move with him and I don't know what to answer."

Dumbfounded, Louie replied, "What are you saying? That you're leaving New York?"

"I don't know," she grumbled. "I can't seem to make up my mind. I love this city so much. I love all the people, the places, the atmosphere, you know? Everything. But I also love Arnie."

"Gee Nardo," he frowned. "No wonder you were ready to rip my head off."

Elaine had to chuckle.

He continued. "You ain't looking for my advice, are you? That's not my thing. You probably don't want my answer, either. You ought to talk to Reiger."

"I was hoping he'd be here. I'm not sure how to begin the discussion, though."

Before anything else could be said, they were greeted by Tony as he came into the garage.

"Hey, Elaine. Hey, Louie."

"Tony! I'm so glad you're here."

Louie laughed. "Ha! You'd have better luck gettin' the answer outta Iggy."

Glaring back at him, she said, "I want everyone's opinion."

"What's going on?" Tony questioned.

"Nardo's leave—" Louie began to answer, soon cut off by Elaine.

"Let me tell him," she said. To her amazement, he complied, going back to his cage. Elaine gestured for Tony to take his vacated seat and began. "Tony… I need your opinion on something."

"Oh yeah?"

Elaine nodded. "Arnie… well, he got a new job in Chicago. He wants me to go with him."

"You mean leave New York City?"

She nodded again. "What do you think?"

He was silent a moment before repeating, "What do I think?"

She nodded a third time.

"I think you should talk to Alex."

Sighing, Elaine said, "Come on, Tony. That's your answer for everything. I mean it, I want to know what you think."

Tony whined. "What do you want me to say, Elaine? Go? Don't go?"

"I want you to say what's on your mind."

"Give him a break, Nardo," Louie shouted from his cage. "Banta doesn't have a thought in his head."

Turning angrily around, Tony said, "I do, too, Louie!" When he was facing Elaine again, he went on. "Okay, I'll try."

"Thank you."

"Uh… do you love Arnie?"

"I do," she answered.

"Do you love New York?"

"I do…"

"I think you should talk to Alex," he quickly finished, standing up and making a beeline for the restroom.

Amused, Elaine said to no one in particular, "Thank you so much, Tony."

She didn't move around much as she waited for the others to return or arrive. The next to come in was Jim. He announced his arrival as he often did, turned in his earnings, and laid down on one of the benches to take a nap before the next shift. This was when Elaine approached him.

"Jim, can I talk to you about something?"

Jim sat up. "Sure, Elaine. What do ya… ya wanna talk about?" he stammered.

She sat down next to him. "You know Arnie, right?"

He thought for a moment. "Arnie… I know an Arnie. He's, uh, a short, bald guy, right?"

"Yes."

"Talks funny?"

Rolling her eyes, she carried on without an answer. "Anyway, he was offered a new job in Chicago. He took it and wants me and the kids to move with him. I don't know what I should do."

Jim gasped. "Whoa, Chicago. Chicago is a nice place."

"Oh, have you been?" she asked.

"I have… I think… or maybe I'm thinking about Florida."

Elaine chuckled. "I see. Well, I want to get everyone's opinion."

"We would all miss you terribly if you left."

"I'd miss you all so much, too," she woefully agreed.

Jim continued. "But we, uh, we shouldn't hold you back. This could be a gr… great opportunity for you. You know, uh… it would give you a chance to drive a cab in a whole new place."

 _At least he's giving me a civil answer,_ Elaine thought. Somehow his answer brought another worry to mind. What if she and Arnie never end up getting married? What if things don't work out and they break up? Then she would be all alone in Chicago. Sure, she could move back to New York, but again, it'd still be a step back in her art career leaving so abruptly. She shook her head. She would think that through later.

Finally, she replied, "Thanks, Jim. So far you've been the most helpful."

Letting him get back to his nap, Elaine got up and joined Tony for a round of cards at the table. Louie, who had been listening to Elaine and Jim's conversation, slithered out of his cage and smacked Jim upside the head. "What were you thinking, Ignatowski?"

Clearing his throat, only slightly jarred from the blow, he answered. "Well, boss. Funny you sh-should ask that. I was just thinking about the time I went to see E.T. – the first time. I—"

Louie cut him off. "Not as I was walkin' over here you pea brain. What were you thinking when you told Elaine to move to Chicago?"

Shocked, Jim said, "Elaine's moving to Chicago?!"

"Why do I ever think I can have a conversation with you?"

"You got me there."

With a growl, Louie said, "Just try and keep it in your head that if Nardo should bring up leaving again that you tell her to stay here."

"I think you should tell her, boss."

"What're you crazy? She'd maim me. This way if she gets upset she takes it out on you. Ah, she won't hold it against you anyway. Me? I'm a dead man if I tick her off."

Jim shook his head in confusion and slowly laid down again. Giving up with this, Louie went back to his cage.

About fifteen minutes later, Latka and Simka just about danced into the garage.

"Hello, everybody!" Simka greeted at the top of her lungs. In an instant, the parents to be were bring smothered with hugs and congratulations.

"I have pictures!" Simka said through the mob, holding them high above her head. They all walked over to the table, cards scattered to make room for the sonogram stills. Elaine was almost in tears at the sight. She couldn't help but remember being pregnant with her children, especially the excitement of carrying Jason. She envied the emotions she knew Simka must be feeling but was happy for her above all else. Though, her sadness also returned, knowing she might not be around to watch the baby grow up.

She was staring at the pictures lost in thought until Tony's voice cut through.

"I don't get what we're looking at here. I thought this was supposed to be a picture of the baby?"

"It _is_ a picture of the baby, silly! Look," Simka pointed out the shape of the child.

"I see it!" Tony exclaimed not long after.

Simka smiled. "My beautiful, beautiful baby."

Louie, one of the few people in the garage not huddled around going moony-eyed over the photos, started announcing over the loudspeaker, "All right, enough lazing around. You've all seen babies before. These cabs gotta get on the road. Evans: 1207. Banta: 421. Jordan: 875. Latka, I want you to start working on cab 561. Talk to your wife's stomach on your own time."

While everyone scurried off their cabs or went back to waiting for their names to be called, Elaine hung back with Simka.

"I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am for you guys."

Simka grinned. "Thank you, Elaine. I can't wait until she's born."

"So you know it's a girl?"

"I have a hunch. I'm usually right about these things. Latka doesn't want to know… he wants the surprise. But as soon as I'm able I'm going back to the doctor. He said probably in another month or so."

"I wanted to know, too."

"Tell that to Latka! So easy for the fathers. Their work is all done. I wanna be prepared. It makes the baby shower easier, too." Her eyebrow raised, hoping Elaine would take the bait.

She picked up on the hint, but now wasn't the time to get into technicalities. Instead, she replied, "That baby is going to be spoiled, I guarantee."

Simka's demeanor changed after a few seconds, a worried look entering her eyes. "Elaine… is it very hard to be a mother?"

"I'm not going to lie to you," she began. "It's far from easy. There are moments where the stress becomes unbearable and you don't see how you can go on the rest of your life so worried about them. But… when you look at them… you know you're the luckiest person alive. Jason and Jennifer are everything to me. I know you'll feel the same way about your children. I think you're going to be a fabulous mother."

Simka's smile reappeared, tears glistening in her eyes along with it. "Really?"

"Really."

"Thank you."

"Of course."

They were silent a moment, each of them fiddling with the playing cards lying in front of them. Then, Simka remembered, "Oh! Did you mention last night that you had something you wanted to talk about?"

"Oh, yeah… I did." Not wanting to spoil the mood or take away from Simka's moment, she said, "But it can wait."

"No, no. Tell me. You wanted me to come down here for it."

Elaine sighed.

"Is everything okay?" Simka asked, growing concerned.

"Yes and no… it has to do with Arnie."

"You broke up!"

"No—no! We didn't break up."

"Oh," Simka said, a slight blush tinting her cheeks. "Forgive me for that outburst. It won't happen again. I promise."

"Good," Elaine laughed. "Not for my sake but the sake of the baby!"

"Please, continue."

"Arnie received this incredible job offer as VP of a bank in Chicago. Of course, he took it. Now he wants me to move with him."

Simka frowned. "Oh… so you are leaving?"

"I don't know yet. That's mostly what I wanted to talk to you about. I love Arnie and so much of me wants to say yes and not look back. But how can I? The thought of leaving you all is killing me. I'm sure I could learn to love Chicago. It'd be silly to stay for New York alone. I've been asking everyone what they think and it's only made the decision tougher; especially knowing now that you're having a baby. I want to be here for you. I could still visit and everything. I'm sure I'll have to with the kids so they can visit their father at least some of the time. We wouldn't lose touch. But I know that isn't the same as seeing you every day." She shook her head. "What do you think?"

"I think you should dump Arnie," Simka answered without a second thought, speaking almost too fast that Elaine couldn't understand her. "Dump him. He's a creep and you two are completely wrong for each other. Dump him and stay here. Don't move to Chicago. How could you ever leave such a wonderful place as New York City?"

A nervous laugh escaped from Elaine. She should have expected this but hadn't. "Simka, you were the one who set me up with Arnie. What are you saying?"

"I know I did. I'm changing my mind now."

"Simka…"

She sighed, taking a minute to compose herself before speaking again. "I don't want you to leave, Elaine. If you leave then I'm the only woman left around here. Who's going to help me through my pregnancy?"

"I managed over the years. The guys will help you."

"That's not the same!" she shouted, rising from her seat. "I need someone who actually knows, not just watched someone else or watched in a movie. I need someone I can talk to about anything and who will defend me when I try to kill Latka as soon as the hormones set in."

Standing as well, Elaine nudged Simka's arm. "You know I'll always be a phone call away. And if you need me there's nothing stopping me from getting on a plane to see you. Even if it's just to talk."

Tears fell from Simka's eyes. "We both know things will never be that way."

As much as she wanted to, Elaine couldn't argue.

"I sure will miss you, Elaine."

"I'll miss you, too, Simka." Leaning over to hug her friend, tears made an appearance in her eyes as well.

"And hey," she added when they pulled apart. "I haven't made a decision yet. We can save the tears for later."

Rubbing her eyes, Simka said, "Sure. But you will say yes."

"I really don't know."

"I'm sorry for what I said about Arnie," Simka said. "I shouldn't have. I shouldn't be selfish."

"You down need to apologize," Elaine said, drying her eyes now. "I wanted you to be honest."

"All this aside, I'm glad you are finding happiness with Arnie."

"Thank you again for introducing us. I didn't believe you when you said you had that matchmaking gift, but you managed to pick a winner for me after so many of my failed attempts."

"The gift feels more like a curse at this moment."

"I know."

"Well…" Simka said, picking up the photos and her purse. "I have some things I need to go do. Will you please let me know when you've made up your mind?"

"Of course."

"Can you try and forget everything I said before about dumping Arnie? I will be happy for you no matter what you choose."

Elaine nodded. "Already forgotten."

Simka waved and turned to leave. "Bye-bye."

"Bye… and take it easy, you," she gestured to Simka's stomach.

Elaine slumped back into her chair and let out a long and deep breath. That was pretty much everyone. She figured that talking with Simka covered Latka as well. He'd agree with whatever she said, more or less. Besides, Louie hated anyone interrupting the mechanics. All that was left was Alex… but where was Alex?


	7. Final Opinion

Elaine continued to wait for Alex, watching the other drivers come and go, always hoping it would be him rounding the corner when she heard footsteps. Minutes felt like hours. When the clock struck two, she started to worry.

"Louie, have you heard anything from Alex?"

Looking up from the paperwork sprawled out in front of him, he said, "Oh yeah. He called 'bout an hour ago saying he couldn't come in today."

Furious, Elaine said, "You mean that you've known all this time that I was waiting and didn't have the decency to tell me? Better yet, you couldn't have told Alex that I've been waiting to talk to him?"

Putting his hands up, he said, "Sorry, sorry. You were over there talking and crying over so-called baby pictures. Who was I to disturb you?"

"You could have told me after Simka left! Come on, you know I'm stressing out over this." She groaned. "Did he say where he was?"

Louie shrugged. "No, he just said he wasn't up for driving today."

"He must be at home," she said.

Running up to her locker, she grabbed her coat and purse.

. . .

When she arrived at Alex's apartment, she took a moment before knocking on the door. Out of everyone, she respected his opinion the most. She always had. Once she talked to him that was it. The decision would be left to her (and Jennifer and Jason). She fought back the recurrence of tears and knocked.

"Who is it?" Alex called from inside.

"It's me. I really need to talk to you."

Alex paused in confusion. Why was she here? He didn't expect to see her all weekend. Unless, he thought, he didn't propose after all. He felt guilty for the sense of relief that came over him at the thought of a potential breakup. Now he felt foolish for dodging work. He couldn't believe he'd allowed himself to get so upset. Mostly he wanted to avoid the gossip around the subject. News like this took no time to cover the garage.

He knew he had no right to feel this way. He'd pushed her away too many times before. On some level, he figured somewhere down the line it'd be the two of them. Neither of them was the greatest at maintaining relationships. Arnie was the longest he'd seen of her suitors. Even still he never worried too much. But marriage was different. Marriage was final. When she told him Arnie was going to propose it finally hit him. They would never be more than friends.

Realizing he had yet to let Elaine in, he got up to answer the door.

"Hey, sorry," he said, stepping to the side so she could pass.

She obliged.

Evident that something was bothering her, he asked as he sat back down on the sofa, "Is everything all right?" He motioned for her to sit as well.

Elaine took her time walking over to him. When she sat, deciding she couldn't handle dragging it out, she began. "Remember how I thought Arnie was going to propose last night?"

Alex nodded.

"Well… he didn't ask me to marry him. He did, however, ask something else."

"What did he ask you? Does he want you to move in?"

Elaine shrugged. "In a sense, I guess. He asked me to move to Chicago with him." Weariness overwhelmed her tone. She was grateful she didn't have many more times she had to say this. Every time made it feel more real.

"Chicago?" Alex nearly shouted. "Why is he moving to Chicago?"

"He got a new job as VP. The bank he works for is expanding and they promoted him. It's a wonderful opportunity for him."

"I take it he's accepted it then?"

She nodded. "Yep."

"How long have you known?"

"He told me everything last night."

"You mean he didn't talk to you about it before accepting?"

"No, and he shouldn't have to despite my initial reaction. We're serious, but I wouldn't say committed in that way."

Alex nodded, though, he didn't quite agree. Instead, he asked, "Do you know what you're going to do yet?"

Elaine shook her head. "Nope. It's been making me sick. I have no idea what I should do. I've talked to everyone else today and their answers have only conflicted me more."

"What do Jason and Jennifer think?"

"I haven't talked to them about it yet," she admitted.

Surprised, he said, "I'd think they'd be the first people you'd talk to."

"I know, but if I decide against it I don't want to make their heads spin as well. Anyways, they're with their father this weekend. This isn't something you blurt out over the phone."

"True."

"So," she said, unable to make eye contact with him. "I need to know… what do you think I should do?"

Alex was quiet. What could he say? If he told her to stay, he'd either be responsible for ruining what's likely been the best relationship she's ever had or alienate her entirely. If he told her to go, she'd go.

"Elaine," he said after some time. "I can't answer this."

"Don't start this again," she grumbled. "You're not telling me what to do. I just want to hear your thoughts."

"Really, Elaine. I can't."

Standing up in a huff she said, "Great. I've only been waiting all day for your help. You know Louie was more helpful than you?"

"What did he say?"

"That I should talk to you," she suddenly remembered. "But he was at least sympathetic about it."

She turned to leave, forcing Alex to stand as well. "And my saying I can't give you an answer is unsympathetic? After all these years you really think I don't care about what you're telling me?"

"It certainly seems that way." Tears making a reappearance, she said, "If you don't know by now how much I value your input then maybe it is time for a change."

Doing the best to keep a lid on his own temper, Alex took a breath. Once he thought he could speak without yelling, he said, "I can't answer because I don't want this responsibility. I know you take the things I say to heart and I don't want my own feelings about the situation to mislead you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Do you really think you can tell me you want to move a thousand miles away from here and not expect me to want you to stay? Only you can decide if your relationship with Arnie is strong enough to handle this. Not me, not the other guys, not Arnie. _You_ have to make the choice. None of us can tell you if you see a future with him. If you do, you'd be foolish not to go with him. If you don't, then you have to be willing to let him go."

Elaine shook her head. While she should have expected this kind of response, she hadn't imagined it so bluntly. And, after an emotional day laced with confusion and anxiety, her only defense was to argue. "I don't know if I do or if I don't! I'm too close to it right now. There's too much pressure and not enough time. If it was just me it would be easier. I have no idea how the kids are going to react. I need your support now more than ever!"

"I'm behind whichever decision you make, Elaine," he said firmly. "All I'm saying is that none of us can make the choice for you."

"I didn't ask you to," she continued to shout. "I asked for your thoughts! Why do you have to make everything so difficult? It drives me crazy!"

"All right," he exploded at last. "All right! You want my thoughts? Fine. Don't go. Don't leave New York. That's what I think."

Though his words were of no consultation, Elaine replied in a calmer tone, "Was that so hard?"

"Yes, it was. Because now it's on my conscience if you break it off with him."

Crossing her arms, she sneered, "Do you really think that I'm incapable of thinking for myself?"

"No, but I also know you crumble under pressure."

"I resent that!"

"Need I remind you the last time you had to make a split decision to move to a different state you punched your potential boss in the stomach?"

"This is an entirely different situation."

"No, it isn't. Change terrifies you. All I'm saying is that once you get this out of your system you'll make your decision. You did last time, but unfortunately, by the time you did, you blew your shot. I don't want to see you do it again."

Taking a moment to sort through her thoughts, Elaine then said, "So… you're saying I shouldn't blow it with Arnie?"

"I, uh—" Caught off guard himself, he stammered, "I'm just saying that…" He sighed. He couldn't do this. He knew he had to tell her what she wanted to hear. "Arnie is good for you, Elaine. Don't let fear make this decision for you. If he were suggesting this step without moving, would you take it?"

Elaine shrugged. "I don't know… maybe."

"Then what's stopping you from taking it somewhere else?"

"You're right," she sniffed, going over to the tissue box so she could dry her eyes. "You're right. I do panic when I have to make a big decision like this."

"You gonna be okay?"

After a few seconds, she nodded. "I think so. I still don't know what I'm going to do yet, though. There's one thing that worries me."

"What's that?"

"When he told me about the job and everything, I asked him about marriage in the future."

"What did he say?" he asked.

Looking away, she said, "He got a strange look in his eyes. It wasn't his usual look of nerves. I don't know how to explain it." Turning back to Alex, she finished, "I don't want to make the move if there's a chance I won't be marrying him. I'm giving up everything if I leave New York. I love New York and the idea of leaving everyone at the garage and gallery is killing me. It'd be different if I was going for myself. I mean if this was a career advancement for myself. I know that sounds selfish, but again, it's not just me. Whatever I do will affect Jason and Jennifer, too. I'm scared."

Taking another breath, Alex stepped forward, reaching for Elaine's hands. "I know you are. I know there's a lot on the line. I also know that you run on love. It's clear that you love Arnie… so isn't it worth the risk?"

Elaine looked at Alex, unable to speak. After a minute or two, Alex asked, "Are you all right?"

Elaine shook her head, coming out of her deep thought. "I guess so," she finally spoke. "I'm sorry I got so mad at you. I should have known it'd be difficult for you, too."

Alex nodded. "I'm sorry, too."

Touching his cheek, Elaine stepped past him toward the door.

Alex followed, asking, "Have you made up your mind?"

"I think so." Summoning up her courage, she said, "When Jennifer and Jason come home tomorrow, I'm going to talk to them about all of this and see what they think. Whatever they decide will be what we do."

"Sounds like a good plan," he smiled.

Reciprocating, she hugged him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Elaine went on her way, leaving Alex behind as she shut the door behind her. He sat down on the couch again, desperately trying not to cry himself. He lost the battle in the end. He knew what the kids would decide. They adored Arnie and wouldn't give him up for anything. Knowing his days with Elaine were limited broke his heart.


	8. Jennifer and Jason

Elaine spent the rest of the weekend home alone fighting all urges to go over to her ex-husband's place to pick up the kids. Arnie hadn't called which both concerned her and made her feel guilty. Knowing him, he was pacing around his apartment waiting for her to come over or call, cursing himself for every decision made in his life.

While she managed to keep out of Vince's way, she did call him to talk over the situation. Though he was far from the Father of the Year award, he deserved to know before the kids. As expected, he wasn't thrilled by the notion of the kids being so far away. They argued for a while which, strangely, was a welcome diversion for Elaine. She let off some steam without caring much if she offended him. In the end, he agreed to go along with whatever the kids decided. He traveled enough, she reminded him, he could come to Chicago and the kids could visit New York.

At last, Sunday evening came and brought Jason and Jennifer home. They hadn't two seconds to unpack their weekend bags before Elaine sat them down at the kitchen table.

"There's something important I was to discuss with you two," Elaine began, trying to make her voice both light and serious.

"Are we getting a puppy?" Jennifer asked, her voice hopeful thinking months of dropping hints were about to finally pay off.

Elaine laughed. "No, sweetie, we're not getting a puppy. Now, I need you both to listen carefully, all right?"

The kids nodded.

She went on. "Arnie took a new job in Chicago. He wants us all to move there with him."

Jason and Jennifer stood up and cheered.

"All right!" Jason yelled.

"Oh boy, Chicago!" Jennifer added, then she calmed down and thought for a second. "Wait… where is Chicago again?"

"It's several hundred miles west of New York," Elaine answered, not quite recovered from their enthusiasm. "I know moving to a new place is an exciting thought, but there is a lot that needs to be considered."

"Like what?" they questioned.

"Like the fact you'd be going to new schools and leaving your friends here and make new ones there. You wouldn't be able to see Dad as much, either."

The smiles from their face slowly disappeared.

Jason asked, "What would happen to Arnie if we stayed here?"

With a frown of her own, she answered, "I'm afraid he and I would have to break up."

"Oh…"

"I know… and I know that this isn't going to be an easy decision for any of us." She paused before going on. "I've had all weekend to mull it over. I want you guys to do the same. Whatever you decide is what we'll do. I don't need an answer right this second, but I will need to know sometime tomorrow. If we go, we've got to be packed up in two weeks – maybe sooner."

"Why so soon?" Jennifer questioned.

"That's when Arnie needs to be there to start the job, I guess."

Jennifer and Jason nodded.

Forcing a smile, Elaine said, "I'm sorry to dump this on you the second after getting home and before bed. You two run off and unpack. I'll get a snack ready if you're hungry, then it's bedtime."

The kids obeyed, Jennifer lingering behind to give her mother a 'hello' hug. Before following Jason into their bedroom, the little girl looked up at Elaine with curious eyes. "Mommy, why are you letting us decide?"

Jason turned around from the doorway, shooting her a look of his own curiosity.

Elaine bit her lip. She hadn't thought through the notion that she was leaving such a life-altering decision up to her nine and twelve-year-olds. After a moment, breathed, taking Jennifer's hand as she walked over to take Jason's.

"If this is too much for you to handle," she said, "tell me."

"We can handle it," Jason said.

"But why?" Jennifer persisted.

Tousling Jennifer's hair, Elaine said, "I'll be honest with you… I'm leaving it up to you because I couldn't decide. My biggest apprehension is how it will affect both of you. If either of you says stay, we'll stay. Remember? We're a team."

Jason smiled. "Really, Mom, we can handle it. We'll make a good decision."

Giving him a hug now, Elaine sang, "That's my boy! I'm sure you will. Go unpack. How about s'mores for your snack?"

"Wow!" Jennifer exclaimed. "You really must be stressed. It's not either of our birthdays."

Shushing her, Jason said, "Let her deal with this her own way."

. . .

Jennifer was already in bed when Jason came in from brushing his teeth. She was facing the wall and couldn't see she was as far from sleep as he was. Extra sugar was the least of their problems tonight.

"You awake?" Jason whispered across the room as he climbed into his bed.

Jennifer whispered back. "Yes. I'm trying to think if we should move or not."

"Me, too."

Turning to her other side, she questioned, "What do you think we should do?"

"I don't know."

"Me either. Well, I kind of do…"

Furrowing his brow, he replied, "What do you mean you kind of do?"

"I mean that I'd say let's go to Chicago if it weren't for Erica. I'll miss her so much if we leave. She's my best friend."

"You could be pen pals," he suggested with a shrug.

Jennifer shook her head. "That's not the same. That's only fun if you don't know the person you're writing to. I have one at school." Sitting up, she realized, "What will happen to her? How will she know I moved? We only write to them once a month!"

"Shh! You want Mom to come in here?"

"I don't think I want to leave…"

"Ah, you can find a better friend than Erica," he said, liking the idea that he might be free from his sister's obnoxious friend.

"Never!"

Jason rolled his eyes as she went on.

"But what about Arnie? We can't let Mommy break up with him."

This, Jason agreed with. "I know. I think we should move."

"What about William?" Jennifer questioned. "And your soccer team?"

"Yeah, I'll miss him and the other guys. I'm sure the school in Chicago will have a team, though. And I know they'll be better players than this lousy team. I just don't want Mommy to break up with Arnie. She's too happy when she's around him. And he's so close to being our stepdad."

"Yeah…" Jennifer sighed. "I love Arnie, too. I guess if he and Mommy break up, we can't still see him but I can still see Erica when we visit Daddy. Maybe she can come to visit us, too!"

"Oh… great," he mumbled. "But yeah, I love Arnie, too. None of Mom's boyfriends ever gave us as much attention as him."

Jennifer yawned. "Should we go tell Mommy?"

"No," he yawned as well, "I'm tired. Let's go to sleep and tell her in the morning."

Jennifer agreed with nothing more said. Drifting off to sleep, they wondered and dreamed about what life in Chicago would be like.


	9. The Decision is Made

The next morning, Jennifer and Jason got up early to surprise their mother with breakfast. It wasn't elaborate as all they were allowed to make unsupervised was anything in the toaster or microwave. They went with juice and toast, which Jennifer attempted to cut into the shape of a heart. Sneaking into Elaine's room, they put the tray on the side table and then crawled up onto the bed.

"Mommy, it's time to wake up!" Jennifer said as she shook Elaine awake.

Elaine slowly opened her eyes. Once they came into focus, they found what she was smelling. "Wow! Did you make this for me?"

They nodded.

"It was my idea to make a heart," Jennifer said proudly. "Do you like it?"

She sat up as Jason moved the tray onto her lap, to which Elaine replied, "I love it! Thank you… but what's the occasion?"

"What do you mean?" Jennifer questioned.

"Well," Elaine chuckled, "it's not every day I get breakfast in bed."

Snuggling up to her side, Jason said, "We made our decision."

"Already?"

Jennifer nodded. "We decided last night."

"And?" Elaine questioned, nerves slipping through in her tone.

After a glance in each other's direction, they answered together, "We want to go to Chicago."

Elaine fell silent. This was it. For a moment she regretted leaving it to them. There was no going back. Most of her expected this answer, yet she felt surprised. After a few breaths, she nodded. "All right. I'll call Arnie and have him come over."

The kids cheered.

Their excitement contagious, she was able to laugh. "Okay, go get dressed."

"Will you call him now?" Jason asked as they hopped down from the bed.

"Yes, I will call him now."

Once the kids had gone, Elaine dropped her smile. She wasn't sure what she felt. Sad, but not with the overwhelming anxiety she anticipated. Seeing Jason and Jennifer's enthusiasm helped. She only wished to feel the same once the technicalities were taken care of.

Putting the tray beside her, she reached over for the phone. She dialed slowly in fear the reality of it all was going to come crashing down on her. When it didn't, she held the receiver to her ear.

"Hey, Arnie. It's me."

"Elaine!" he answered on the other end. "Boy, am I glad to hear from you."

"Why?" she asked with concern. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, I've just been worried that you were mad at me. I put you in a terrible spot the other night and I'm sorry."

She snickered. "You worry too much. I won't lie to you… it did catch me off guard. I needed to think and talk it over and wait for the kids to get home from their weekend with their father. I have an answer now."

"Fabulous! I mean… I guess I shouldn't say fabulous yet. Ignore that, I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm glad you were able to make a decision, though. Either way, I can take it. I know I sounded overzealous just now. You know I—"

"Arnie," Elaine cut in, "calm down. I don't want to talk about this over the phone. Can you come over? The kids leave for school in half an hour but then I'm free."

This panicked Arnie. "Uh, sure I can. I can be there in an hour. Bye."

He hung up before Elaine could say goodbye. Tossing the remainder of his breakfast in the trash, he rushed to his room to get dressed, certain all the while that he was about to be dumped in a similar fashion.

. . .

Arnie rapped on the door until Elaine answered. Once the door was open, he rushed in babbling, "Elaine, I just need to say that I know I was an idiot for not talking to you about the job before I accepted. If you plan on breaking my heart, please, _please_ don't beat around the bush… actually, scratch that. Beat around the bush. Drag it out. Then it will be longer before hearing the answer I've been dreading. You have every right to. You know that. What am I saying? No, we can work this out. I'm willing to try the long-distance thing. I'll be making more money. I can fly here and I can fly you and the kids out. I know it's not the same but I promise not to see anyone else. But if you want to see someone else, I can live with it."

At this point, Elaine stopped him with her laughter. "Arnie, relax. I knew I should have called you before now."

"Right," he said, out of breath, "right. I need to calm down. That's all I need to do is to shut up and sit. I can do that. I _have_ to do that. Yes, I'm aware that I'm still talking. I mean it, though, I'm sitting down and I won't say another word. Not another—"

" _Arnie!_ "

"I'm sorry!" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief to wipe the sweat beating down his forehead.

Sitting next to him on the sofa, Elaine put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You don't need to upset yourself. You have nothing to worry about." She grinned, hinting her answer.

"You mean…?"

Elaine nodded, grin growing wider.

Jumping to his feet, he said, "You'll come to Chicago? All of you?"

She stood as well. "The kids are so excited."

Arnie pulled her into a hug, stepping on his toes to kiss her cheek. "I don't know what to say. I'm just so relieved."

Resting her head on his, she said, "Me, too, now that I've said it. I was nervous about saying goodbye to everything, but I think I'm more excited to get started with the next stage of our lives."

It was true. Now that the decision was made without the opportunity to step back, she could only see forward. Moving wasn't an end to her life in New York City, it was a chance to start over. A new city meant new opportunities, even if she wasn't sure where to begin. None of that mattered so long as she had Arnie and the kids by her side. It was a clean slate for all of them. Now more than ever, she couldn't wait to begin.


	10. Goodbyes

Elaine spent the next two weeks getting everything ready for the move. So much needed to be done. First, and most importantly, was finding a sublet for the remainder of the month. Arnie hadn't given her the one-month warning her landlord required. Second, she had to talk to the kids' schools. Once more, two weeks proved to be a hassle, thoroughly irritating both their current and new schools. Ideally, she would have left the kids with Vince for the remaining month of the school year, but he wasn't prepared to rearrange his schedule for this matter. While she couldn't blame him, it was still one more stress.

As frustrating as interviews, phone calls, meetings, and inquiries were, none of those compared to the heartache of giving her notice at the gallery. She'd grown there. She'd come a long way from the over-eager and emotional twenty-something she had been at the start. Saying goodbye felt wrong after all it took to move up in the community, especially when it really wasn't a great stride. She could only pray that the galleries in Chicago were as nice as the Hazeltine.

Packing the apartment quickly became an afterthought in the hecticness. For this, she enlisted Arnie's help, not too concerned by the fact he was busy with his own belongings and preparing for the new job. He didn't complain, though, still feeling guilty for the mess he'd caused. Jason and Jennifer did more than their share. Later, Elaine would find out Arnie had paid them to help, an argument she decided she would have with him after the move.

Last came the garage. Saying goodbye was something she hadn't let herself think about. There hadn't been time, either, but of course, this made for a mightier sting come her final day. It was strange to think this job she'd once considered temporary had become the more painful of the two to walk away from. She wouldn't miss driving a cab. She was relieved this part of her career was over. It was the people she couldn't bear to leave. Finding friends as good as the people there would be an impossible feat. She had no wish to replace them, either.

She'd called each of them after making her decision, even Louie who was the most vocal about his disapproval. Another time she would have hung up the phone. This time, she found is ranting sentimental. She hadn't driven much, only half of the night shift when she'd managed to stay awake. This didn't leave much time for socializing. She knew she'd regret the lost time after she was gone but seeing them brought everything to the surface. She wouldn't be around much longer.

Her last night in New York, the guys threw a farewell party for her at Mario's. She knew it'd been coming, however, it hadn't lessened her emotions any. Throughout their solemn conversations, she kept muttering to herself, "Six years." Every time she had to blink back tears. So much had changed, yet, not much at all. The kids were six years older and she found the man she planned to marry. So why did it feel like she was a different person?

Fully aware that she wasn't going to keep a lid on her emotions tonight, she didn't much try. The guys didn't try to cheer her up, either. They were just as sad. Showing their support proved difficult. Some did better than others keeping up the cheerful sentiments and reminiscing.

"Remember the time my country began the revolution and I was to go home to fight? You all threw me a going-away party here," Latka said between gulps of beer.

Tony perked up. "Oh yeah! Boy, what a fun night, huh? Singing and dancing—"

"And drinking," Jim added.

"A lot of that," Tony agreed.

Somberly, Alex said, "I have a feeling we may beat the drinking record tonight.

And smiles that had shone through disappeared, everyone at the table nodding in agreement. Simka was the acceptation given her pregnancy though looked sadder than anyone. She only wished she could blame her weepiness on the alcohol. It hadn't crossed her mind to blame the hormones.

Elaine raised her glass in response. "I know I sure will."

Noticing she'd finished off what was left in her cup after yet another toast, Alex stood and offered to get her another. Elaine refused.

"No, no. I shouldn't. I've lost track of time already and I have an early train tomorrow."

They all frowned, a sniffle coming from Simka's direction.

Elaine went on. "I guess… I guess all that's left is to say goodbye."

Everyone tipped their heads. If they didn't say it, she couldn't leave, right?"

"There's so much I want to say to all of you. I know I should have been seeing more of you the past couple of weeks. I don't need to tell you how much you've all meant to me. It doesn't feel right just saying bye. I wish…" She thought a moment, eyeing the back room, and then after taking a breath to steady her voice, she said, "Jim? Come with me for a moment. I can't do it all at once."

Jim staggered to his feet, reaching out for Elaine's hand as she extended it to him. The rest of the group watched as she led him to the other room, horrified by the notion they might be the next she calls in.

When they were out of sight, Alex whispered to Tony, "Hey, I'm going to get out of here."

"What?" Tony whispered back. "You can't leave without saying goodbye to Elaine."

"I know, I know," Alex answered before he'd finished talking. "I'll hate myself for it later, but I can't do it."

Reluctantly, Tony nodded. Though none of them were quite aware of the fine details of his and Elaine's relationship, it didn't come as a surprise that saying goodbye would be the most difficult for Alex. Not even Simka could compete for the title of best friend. It'd always been Alex.

Before Alex could take three steps toward the door, Louie piped up. "Where you goin', Reiger?"

Alex groaned. "None of your business."

"You skipping out on us?"

"I said it's none of your business."

Louie scoffed. "Always act like the big man but always the first to chicken out. Elaine's gonna kill you if you don't say goodbye."

"Then let her," Alex replied with a raised voice. "I need some air. Get off my case."

"What are we supposed to tell her?" Louie questioned despite Tony's warnings against it.

"Don't tell her anything," Alex answered.

"I think she'll notice sooner or later."

Tony had to agree. "She's going to ask about you when she sees you missing."

"Then tell her anything you want," Alex grumbled. "I need to go." Ignoring whatever else Louie was yammering to him across the restaurant, he made his escape.

He did feel bad not sticking around. It wasn't as though he didn't want to see her off. It had taken all his energy to get through dinner with a poker face. And what was he to say? Goodbyes were perfect opportunities to say the things you were too afraid to say when everything was normal. If not an opportunity, a blind force that could destroy any hope of maintaining his friendship with her.

Overall, he decided Elaine moving away was a good thing. He wasn't sure how he'd handle having to watch her marriage to Arnie. He was good for her. That made it all the worse and he knew how much of a jerk he was for thinking as much. All he could wonder these days was why it would have been such a bad thing to give in to his feelings for her years ago. What would have been the problem? Risking their friendship was really the only concern. Had he realized in the end it wouldn't have mattered, he might have said yes.

Oblivious to the commotion in the main room, Elaine was attempting the first goodbye of the night. It took her a minute to get started, not wanting to fall apart right off the bat.

"Jim… you are one of the sweetest, specialist people I have ever met. I don't think I know anyone with a bigger heart. You've touched mine in ways no one else ever could."

"Really?" he wondered. "How?"

"Well," she thought for a moment, "I think the time that stands out the most was when you wrote those poems for me. I know said some awful things to you when I found out, and I still feel bad about it, but instead of holding a grudge, you built that castle for me with parts from your van. I've never forgotten that. I never will, either."

"I did that?"

She nodded. "You did."

He waved his hand. "Ahh… it was nothing."

"There will never be another Jim Ignatowski in my life."

"If there is… will you let me know? I-I'd like to meet him."

Elaine laughed through the tears that finally fell. "Of course."

She took turns with all of them. Tony went next, neither of them sure of the proper words to say. So, they played a round of pool instead, trying to pretend it was any other day. She beat him, to which he pretended to have let her win. Elaine didn't have it in her to gloat as per usual. Instead, she hugged him, praying it wouldn't be the last time she experienced one of his strong embraces.

"You think I could stop by sometime to try one of those Chicago pizzas?" Tony asked, hoping to get one more smile out of her. He was half-successful.

"I'm counting on it."

She had him send in Louie next, needing an easier goodbye to recover. To her relief, he did most of the talking, even if she did want to slap him.

"So," he said as he walked over to the pool table. "You wanna go here or shall we find a cheap motel? I know you've been dying to get me alone for a final, lusty affair before locking up the shackles."

Elaine gritted her teeth. "Louie…"

"I know, I know, I'm a pig. You don't have to say it."

"It's a shame because you can be a good person when you want to be."

"Yeah, well," he stammered softly. "Maybe I don't wanna be for this. I'm no good at this kind of mushy stuff."

"So I've noticed," she said with a chuckle. "I'll leave it at this then… I'll miss you, Louie."

"You mean it?"

"Surprisingly, I do."

Louie nodded with a genuine smile. "I'll miss you, too, Nardo."

Latka and Simka were next. Not much talking took place, Elaine and Simka being blubbering messes from the moment they walked through the door. Latka stood back as they exchanged their sorrows and well wishes. He would miss Elaine, too, but his heart ached for his wife.

"Will you still call me on the phone?" Simka begged, grasping Elaine's hands. "And do you promise to visit once the baby is born?"

"Yes, of course! I'm going to write you all the time, too."

Simka frowned. "It still won't be the same…"

"We will miss you at our dinner parties," Latka added.

Dabbing her eyes, Elaine agreed. "So will I." Then reaching out and squeezing Latka's arm, she said, "Latka, you've always known how to make me smile even at my lowest. I'm going to miss hearing stories about your country. You – both of you – are the sweetest people I know. It's going to be strange not seeing you every day. Simka, I don't think there's any more I can say to you other than I wish you were coming with me. I liked not being the only woman around anymore." Tears fell freely again. "Promise me you'll watch over these guys? Keep them from doing anything too stupid."

Simka laughed, though she could match Elaine's sobs. "I will, I promise." She gestured to Latka. "Though, this one gives me enough trouble."

"Good," she managed a laugh. "Also promise me that when they do something stupid anyway, and trust me, this will happen often, that you'll tell me right away so I can yell at them."

"Of course," Simka chuckled. She was quiet a moment before finishing. "Will you promise to call and tell me that you got to Chicago safely?"

Elaine nodded. "Absolutely. And Latka? Make sure you let me know the second she goes into labor. I will drop everything and be on the next plane here."

"I promise," Latka said.

She hugged each of them goodbye, wishing she never had to let go. When she had no choice but to do so, she said with more courage than she felt, "I guess this just leaves Alex. Can you send him in?" Her voice grew weaker with the latter.

Being closer to the door, Latka took his chance to leave before Simka could force him to be the one to mention Alex. At this, Simka glared in his direction, a look, if he had turned around to see it, would have promised all kinds of hell for him later.

Simka turned back to Elaine. "I, uh… don't think I can do that."

"Why not?" Elaine questioned, baffled by the exchange.

"Well now, how do I put this… He, um, he kinda, you know, sorta… left."

Eyes wide, Elaine repeated, "He left? Why?"

"I'm not sure," Simka shrugged. "I didn't hear what he was saying, I'd gone with Latka to the bar to get more water. I did see Tony and Louie trying to stop him but he went anyway."

Feeling numbed by this, she asked in a shaky voice, "Do you know where he went?"

"No, I didn't catch that either. Louie might know. He was talking to him the most."

Elaine nodded and the two of them walked out into the restaurant.

Catching Louie's attention, Elaine asked where Alex went.

But Louie could only shrug. "Either home or the garage I'd say."

"Did he say why he left at least?" she said with a groan of aggravation.

"I dunno, he mumbled something to Banta about it being too hard."

Her eyes shining, she shook her head, saying in almost a whisper, "I can't leave without saying goodbye to him."

"Then it was a smart move on his part," Louie said.

"Don't make this harder than it already is," she quipped.

"Sorry."

Recomposing herself, she said, "I'm going to check the garage first. Could you wait here for a bit? I want to talk to him alone."

By another DePalma miracle, she got no argument or so much as a snide comment in reply – only a nod as she raced across the street.


	11. Goodbye, Alex

Elaine walked into the garage with her fingers crossed.

"Damn," she muttered when she saw it was empty. She stopped in her tracks, wondering if she should use the phone to call his apartment. Maybe he hadn't gone home. Maybe he'd gone out driving. If that were the case, she would never find him in time.

Then, she saw Alex walking back from the coffee machine. The tension released from her shoulders. He was here.

He hadn't noticed her come in and went on towards his seat at the table. He picked up a book and started thumbing through the pages, letting out a sigh as he did so.

Quietly, Elaine walked up to him, forcing a smile despite the fact all she wanted to do was collapse.

"Guess who I'm going to miss the most?"

Alex jumped. He'd been lost in his thoughts since leaving the restaurant. He looked away as quickly as he'd glanced up. "How'd you know I'd be here?"

"You're predictable."

"Ah," was all he said in reply.

Sitting down in the chair next to him, she continued, "Although, not so predictable that I would have imagined you leaving without saying goodbye to me."

"Elaine…"

"I know it's hard. Believe me, I've been at it all night. But after all we've been through, were you really going to let me just disappear?"

He didn't respond.

"You've been avoiding me these last two weeks. I know I haven't been around much, but when I am here you haven't had much to say."

"What do you want me to say?" He still couldn't look at her.

Elaine shook her head. "That you'll miss me? Reassure me that I'm making the right decision? Wish me luck?"

Before he could make it clear he was maintaining his silence, the floodgates of Elaine's emotions burst.

"Say anything," she sobbed, "because knowing I'm not going to see you every day has been the worst part of all of this. You helped me through some of the worst moments of my life. I have no idea what I'm going to do without you. I don't want to say goodbye any more than you do." Soon after, she was crying harder than she had all night – and she could have strangled him for it. Had he only stayed at the restaurant she would have kept her guard up.

In a single motion, Alex pulled her chair closer to his, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. "I'm sorry, Elaine," he said in a choked whisper. "I'm sorry."

He took a moment before continuing. "You've meant so much to me. So much. It's killing me to watch you go." Before he knew it, he was crying, too.

If anyone had come into the garage, they didn't stay long. Alex and Elaine clung to each other as they let out everything they'd stifled. Together, they mourned the end of this phase of their lives, both wishing at this moment that things were different… that things had always been different… as they realized just how much they would be losing in each other when she went away. No more going over the newspaper with their coffees after a long shift. No more art exhibits. No more concerts. No more symphony. No more hour-long chats on the phone when Elaine had been tied up at the gallery. No more trips to Coney Island with the kids. No more getting tied up in whatever mess the other guys made for themselves. No more worrying about the other. No more spilling their guts over a pitcher of beer at four in the morning. No more memories. Elaine was sure if Alex were to tell her not to leave right then and there, she would have called Arnie and the movers from the payphone and cancel everything.

But he didn't.

"Look at us…" she managed to say once they had moderately calmed down, "acting as if the other were dying."

"Yeah…" Alex nodded, the smile he tried to force not showing much. "We'll see each other again, huh?"

"Definitely," she answered, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

"Good," he said, feeling embarrassed. "I don't want this to be the last time I ever see you."

"Neither do I. And we will still talk to each other, won't we? Promise me. This can't be one of those things where we promise to call and write but never bother finding the time. I can't leave if that's all that's going to happen."

It took everything he had not to take her up on this. "I've got nothing but time," was what he ended up sadly saying. "Call me. I don't care what time it is. If you can't reach me at home call me here."

"I will." She hugged him again, lingering as she asked, "Can I be honest about something?"

"What's that?" he questioned with a nervous hopefulness.

"I am scared to leave. Terrified."

He hated himself for his disappointment. "It will be all right."

Sitting back, though her hands remained extended toward him, she said, "How do you know? I have no clue what I'm going to do there. Yeah, the pressure will be off me for a little while to keep the roof over our heads, but I'm not used to lounging around all day. What's the point of having some time off with no one around? The kids will be in school, Arnie will be swamped settling into the new job… I'm leaving everything and everyone I know here. I know that things will have to work out in the end… I just keep feeling such a wave of loneliness when I think about being there."

Brushing away the tears that were threatening to roll down her cheeks again, Alex said, "You'll make new friends in no time. Until then, your friends here are waiting for your call."

With this, she stood, Alex doing the same. She closed the distance between them again, hugging him a final time. It pained Alex when she stepped away. Somehow, he managed to let go.

"Can we say see you later instead of goodbye?" she asked with a sniff. "It feels easier that way. Less permanent."

He chuckled. "See ya, Elaine."

Kissing his cheek, she said, "See you, Alex."

He followed her partway to the door. When she was gone, he leaned against one of the cabs, wondering how big of a headache he was going to wake up with tomorrow. It was better than imagining what it would be like coming back to work knowing he wouldn't be seeing her. His attention turned when he heard footsteps again. He was almost positive they belonged to Elaine but wrote it off to wishful thinking. Instead, he told himself it was Louie or one of the other cabbies. When he looked up, he was thrilled to see it was, in fact, Elaine. He smiled, though it quickly turned to confusion. They were toe to toe before he could say anything. Any words that might have come out were gone the instant she kissed him. It wasn't long, nor was it fleeting. Alex wound his arms around her waist, keeping her as close as he could until their lips parted. Even then, he maintained his hold on her for as long as possible.

"In case this is my last chance…" she said with an unusual shyness about her.

Giving her a knowing smile, he nodded.

Several seconds passed before he realized how deeply he'd been staring at her and how much he was gripping at her sides. He managed to step back once out of his daze, twisting his lips to say with his best Rick Blaine impression, "We'll always have Vienna."

For the first time in perhaps the two weeks since all this began, Elaine wholeheartedly laughed. He earned another peck for this, her hands moving from his shoulders to his head. With this, she took her leave. This was the Alex she wanted to remember, not the wreck she'd made out of him minutes before.

Under the archway she turned around, waving to him. He reciprocated until she was well out of sight and sure she wouldn't come back again. When his hand dropped, so did the brave face he'd been maintaining.

"Goodbye, Elaine."


	12. Desperately Seeking Closure

By the time the sun had risen over Manhattan, Elaine, Arnie, and the kids had completed what most would consider a day's work. The truck was packed, both apartments were empty, and now they were on their way to their final New York meal at Jason and Jennifer's favorite diner. It was Arnie's idea, of course, and both kids were sure to hurry everything along in fear they would run out of time before they stopped serving pancakes. There was no fear of this, Elaine wearily reminded every ten minutes, as it wasn't even seven.

Elaine hadn't said much all morning. She nodded off at the restaurant, didn't have much of an appetite, and couldn't keep focused on any sort of conversation. Part of this was the hangover, the rest was from her draining farewells. Hearing her alarm go off that morning was the final realization that all of this was happening. Fending off the unsettlement proved difficult, though, not impossible if she instead focused on how exhausted she was and wishing she'd got more than three hours of sleep.

After breakfast, stuck in the car during the morning rush, and slightly more awake after two cups of coffee, she went over her mental list. Nothing was left in the apartment – good. The truck was on the way to Chicago – good. Kids had snacks and things to keep them entertained – good. As always, she couldn't shake the nagging feeling that she'd forgotten something. Nothing major, she knew. That eased her mind a bit, but while she was still in the city, she wracked her brain to come up with the answer.

"My locker!" she suddenly exclaimed, surprising the others.

"Your locker?" Arnie questioned.

"At the garage. I never cleared it out."

"Ah, I'm sure one of the guys'll be happy to do it for you," Arnie said, speeding through the yellow light before it turned.

"… Would you mind if we stopped by? There's nothing too important there, but still a couple of things I'd rather not leave behind."

Glancing at his watch he said, "I dunno… we took longer at breakfast than we planned."

"Please?" she begged. "It won't take five minutes."

After a few seconds, he gave in. "All right… Guess it would be pointless since we're not far."

Meanwhile, at the garage, Alex was just getting back from his shift. Groggily turning in his bookings to Louie, he grabbed another cup of coffee and slumped down on the bench. He couldn't shake his conversation with Elaine. It wasn't surprising, however, he hadn't been prepared for that kiss. A cordial peck perhaps, but in his current state, it'd come to mean more.

 _No wonder I've had such bad luck with women,_ he thought. _Probably drove them away all this time because of her._

Why now? Why was it only because she was leaving that he was starting to make sense of everything? I'd been so easy to shrug off these things before. It was Elaine. She'd always be there. Was it being proven wrong that brought it to surface? Was this truly the romantic feelings he'd felt for her in the past, or was it the general fear of losing and missing her? Now that she was gone, could he finally move past her?

This was what he couldn't understand. He never considered himself to be pining for her. He didn't look at her and think of how wonderful they might be together. She was Elaine, nothing more. His friend. Were there times he wanted to say friendship be damned? Absolutely. More times than he would ever admit to her. However, knowing the feeling was, at least at one point in time, mutual, it didn't seem so verboten.

The irony of all of this was that it was Elaine he talked to when feeling this discouraged. He might have come clean about it, too, if not for Arnie. Not that she would leave him because of it, but in fear Arnie would come to find out. The last thing he needed was to be told to stay away entirely. While he didn't view Arnie as the kind of person to put an ultimatum in place, he was well aware of his insecurity. He figured he could talk to Tony or Jim – Latka and Simka were out as it would surely get back to Elaine – but even then it seemed too risky. Tony would ask too many questions. Jim… he feared he'd have a lucid moment and impart some sort of wisdom and tell him something that would only make him want to follow her to Chicago.

He shook his head. The only person he wanted to talk to was Elaine. Not with any hopes or expectations, only to get it out. Once he told her and heard everything outside of his head, he would be able to hear how unreasonable he was being. Deep down he knew that if something were to happen between them it would have happened already. What's more, is that something technically _had_ and it still wasn't enough to convince him the ship had passed.

Louie had left a few minutes before. Alex was aware enough that when he stood to throw his now empty coffee cup away, he wasn't surprised to see the cage empty but couldn't remember where he said he'd gone. Home, maybe. It was about time for the next despatcher to come in. He didn't care, although, admitted to himself that it was nice to have company between shifts – even if it was Louie. The caffeine helped a bit. Enough that he could get through half of the next shift. He couldn't face going home yet. Not until the city noise was loud enough to drown out the silence.

Going back to the machine again, he eyed a blank notepad sitting on Louie's desk. Alex stopped. His thought was silly, or he felt so, but maybe he could tell Elaine. Wasn't there supposed to be some trick to writing a letter with no intention to mail it? Perhaps it was the exhaustion or too much caffeine in his system, but it seemed like the thing to do. Certainly something Elaine would have suggested. Reaching up for the paper and a pen, he forgot about the coffee and went to sit at the table instead. It would be something, he thought. That's all that mattered.


	13. One Last Look

Elbow stiff and fingers cramped from his tight grip on the pen, Alex finished the letter. He read it once over out habit, making sure he hadn't missed anything and to catch any typos. Everything looked good, not that it mattered. Content, he started folding it up to fit in his pocket before stopping short. Why was he saving it? To toss in a drawer to find later? Either it would bring everything back or he'd see through a clear mind how ridiculous the situation had become.

So, he crumpled up and did so angrily. The letter didn't help as much as he'd hoped it would. All he succeeded in doing was putting in ink how foolish he was to let her slip away. He could have at least told her how much it was hurting him to see her leave, even if there was no hope of her staying for him be it friendship or romance.

He shook his head. Maybe a second shift wasn't such a good idea. Sleep might do him some good, he decided. After he stood, he tossed the wad of paper into the wastebasket and went on his way. Had he looked back, he would have noticed the paper bouncing off the rim of the bin and landing on the floor a bit a ways from it. Even if he had seen, he wouldn't have thought much of it. Sleep was all he cared about at that moment.

Within minutes after Alex had gone home, Elaine walked into the garage. She'd gone through the back entrance, hoping no go as unnoticed as possible. The kids, or Arnie, didn't need to see her come back to the car after another emotional farewell. She didn't think she could handle it, either.

She ran up to her locker, relieved no one was around. Fortunately, the locker was the picture of organization. Unfortunately, in her rush, she wasn't able to maintain this order. She threw everything she could into the bag she'd left in there. The rest she tucked under her arm or draped over her shoulder. It didn't take her long, though, she could feel Arnie stifling his panic over the time even though he was outside in the car. However, this didn't stop her from taking her time as she descended the stairs, taking a final look around.

"I made it out of the garage," she said aloud.

She knew this day would come. She was certain of it when she started driving. She was _not_ a cab driver. She was part of the art world. Somehow the importance of this had dwindled over the years. No doubt it was her friends that made the idea of driving taxis for the rest of her life feasible. In all this, she stopped imagining the day she'd be filling her lungs with the smell of grease, exhaust, and cigarettes. It wasn't how she imagined things would play out, but it was a graduation all the same.

At the bottom of the steps, a balled-up piece of paper caught her eye. She hadn't planned on picking it up, her hands were too full, but her maternal forces got the better of her. Taking care not to drop everything on the floor, she crouched down and caught the paper between her ring and pinky finger. When she did, it unfolded to reveal her name. At this, she let the bag and jacket slip down to her the crook of her elbow as she unwrinkled it.

 _Dear Elaine,_ she read.

_Why is it easier to—_

"Sweetheart," Arnie's pressured voice ripped through her curiosity. "If we don't leave now, we're gonna miss the train."

"I'm sorry," she said with a start. "I'm ready now." She only wished she could believe these words wholeheartedly.

"Off we go then!" he said, changing his tune. Glancing at her hand, he noticed, "What's that ya got there?"

"Oh, this?" she replied. "I just found it… in my locker." She wasn't sure why she felt the need to lie, aside from the fact Arnie might question why she was wasting time with rubbish. Besides that, she knew it was Alex's handwriting. There must have been a reason it was discarded. She knew their goodbye had been as rough on him as it had been for her. Whatever the case, her gut told her to keep it to herself for the time being.

"Nothing urgent, I suspect," she finished truthfully.

Satisfied, he nodded. "Let me take something—" he reached her side and took the bag.

Elaine smiled and thanked him as she took his arm. Together, they walked out, leaving Elaine to feel like it was somehow wrong. Not being with Arnie, but that he should be sharing this moment with her. Still, she maintained her smile. She _was_ happy but could tell the lingering regret of leaving New York would be sticking around for a while.

 _Give it a few weeks,_ she told herself, _and you will see you made the right choice._ She was with Arnie, she concluded. That was all that mattered.


	14. As the Train Goes Along

Having lived in New York City their entire lives, Jason and Jennifer were no strangers to the subway. However, getting to ride a real train across the country was a treat.

"It will be an adventure," Arnie had phrased it when they boarded. This added to their excitement.

Unfortunately for Elaine, their excitement was her headache.

"Jennifer, I'm not going to tell you again to sit facing forward." After apologizing to the people behind her, she turned back to Arnie, who had just wrangled Jason to come back to their seats. "I'm so sorry, Arnie. They aren't usually so wired when traveling. I knew we should have done breakfast yesterday. Far too much sugar in their systems."

Jason and Jennifer expressed their disagreement, but Elaine tuned them out.

Arnie chuckled. "Don't worry about it. Adds to the anticipation. Should only be a few more hours and then home."

Elaine nodded, trying to smile. It was too soon to think of Chicago as home. She wasn't even quite sure where she would be living. "I'm glad you think so," she said. "They're going to be like this for a while."

"Mommy?" Jennifer said, tugging on Elaine's sleeve. "Why didn't we fly? Wouldn't it be faster?"

"I thought you liked the train?"

"I do but it's taking forever."

Jason nodded in agreement.

"With all of our bags taking the train made good sense," Arnie chimed in. The truth of the matter was that Arnie was terrified of flying. If Elaine thought she'd been a wreck when she was trying to decide whether or not to make the move, it paled in comparison to Arnie's panic. Silently, she sided with the kids on this one. She was tired of sitting and the pounding of the wheels on the tracks was exacerbating her headache.

To both of the adults' relief, the kids accepted this answer.

"Why don't you two shut your eyes for a little while?" Elaine suggested, praying she'd be able to do the same. "There's not much to see out here and you don't want to be exhausted when we get to Chicago. How much sleep did you get last night, anyhow?"

Jason answered. "More than Jennifer."

Jennifer stuck her tongue out, and then asked, "Can I get a snack first?"

"Me, too?" Jason said.

Frustration evident on Elaine's face, Arnie held up his hand before she could answer. "Don't worry, I'll take them. Take a little rest."

Elaine smiled genuinely this time.

Leaning her head against the window, Elaine watched them disappear into the next car. Once they were gone, she shut her eyes. She made the right decision, she thought for the hundredth time since boarding the train, though most of the time it felt more of a statement she repeated to convince herself of what couldn't be changed. Right now, she meant it. Maybe all she needed was to keep herself busy and keep her mind off New York. There was so much good ahead to be focusing on what was left behind. After years of wanting to start fresh, she was getting her opportunity. She couldn't understand why she felt herself wanting to reject it. Chicago was a clean slate. No ex-husbands, no ex-boyfriends, no art world enemies and competitors, no known past embarrassments, no more baggage. She could be whoever she wanted to be for the first time in her life. If only she could remember that the people she left behind weren't gone forever… they'd keep in touch. She'd see them in a few months. They meant too much to her to let go of them completely. No matter how far she was in miles, she was determined to keep her friendships back home as strong as ever. It couldn't be that difficult, could it?


	15. A Mistake?

At long last, they reached Chicago. _Finally,_ all of them were thinking by the end. The kids, never able to nap, were tired, Arnie was growing nervous about his first day on the job coming up quickly, and Elaine was plain beat.

They took a cab to their apartment, Arnie's car not due to arrive for another week at least. Though it was the logical order of things, somehow Elaine hadn't expected it. Reminder number one. Arnie could see the strain in her face, discouraging her even more. She'd done all she could to spare him her woes. He had enough on his plate to be worrying about a little bout of homesickness. It didn't help that he took everything in on a global scale. If she admitted she had her doubts, he'd take it as a two-week notice of their entire relationship. Under different circumstances, she might have called him out on it.

Their new apartment was lovely. Jennifer and Jason were especially happy to discover that for the first time they had their own rooms. There was a small balcony connected to Arnie and Elaine's room, pleasantly surprising Elaine. The view was so-so, but it was there. The kitchenette and living room were small, as were the kids' rooms, but Elaine and the kids couldn't complain. Arnie was just thrilled to have them here.

Most of the unpacking could wait until tomorrow. Tonight, they ordered a pizza and found a movie on TV. Jason and Jennifer didn't make it through the first half, something both Arnie and Elaine had anticipated.

"I'll put them to bed," Elaine whispered to Arnie, picking up Jennifer and nudging Jason awake after.

Jason woke and trudged to his room, trying to remember which bag his pajamas were in when Elaine said, "I'll be back to say goodnight in a minute. I think Jennifer's out for the night."

Jason nodded.

The furniture hadn't arrived yet, leaving the rooms a mess. Fortunately, Arnie had the foresight to provide beds and a few tables and chairs. Noticing the kids had full-sized beds until theirs arrived, she amused herself with the possibility that they would resist giving up with luxury. At the same time, her heart melted at our tiny her daughter looked in comparison.

Brushing a few loose strands of hair from in front of her face, she watched her sleep a moment before tucking her in. She wondered what she might be dreaming about as she kissed her forehead. She hoped the change had been an exciting one for her. Jason, too.

 _I wish I could be so carefree,_ Elaine thought, shaking her head. _I wish I could let myself feel their kind of excitement. Instead, it's back and forth between dread and contentment._ She sighed. _They gave up as much as me. Their friends, their teachers, their father… and they haven't expressed an ounce of sorrow. How do they do that? I used to be able to see life as an adventure. Guess that's the first thing to go when you grow up._

Jason was asleep by the time she'd come back to tuck him in. He didn't seem so small like Jennifer had. He looked more grown-up. How could he be twelve already? And how had life changed in so many ways since he was born? She shook her head again, bending down to kiss his. At least her children would be a constant for a few more years.

Thinking back on Jason and Jennifer, she remembered her promise to call Simka. She knew she shouldn't, but she felt guilty for leaving her now of all times. Though Simka was far more prepared for this baby, she must still have those first-time mother anxieties. Simka was so far from her family. Leaning on them for support was out. And what was the first thing she did upon arriving in Chicago? Forget to call.

"Sweetie," Elaine said as she shut Jason's door, "I promised to call back home when we got settled. Mind if I do that now?"

"Go ahead," Arnie replied with a smile. "But after that, you're all mine."

Matching his grin, she disappeared into the bedroom.

. . .

"Hello?" Latka answered.

"Latka, hi! It's Elaine." As the phone was ringing, the hour occurred to her. She was relieved to hear him sounding awake. "I told Simka I would call then I got here."

"Oh goody! Simka, it's Elaine on the phone."

In a second, the receiver was in Simka's hands. "Elaine! I was getting worried about you."

"I'm sorry, it's been crazy getting things unpacked and the kids settled."

"It's all right so long as you're calling now." Begrudgingly, she asked, "How are you liking Chicago?"

Curling her knees up to her chest, Elaine answered, "It's fine. I haven't seen much other than the apartment. It's spectacular, I must say! At least compared with what I'm used to. I should have some time to take things in tomorrow. The kids start right at school and I've got to go job hunting."

"An art gallery?"

"That's the plan. Keep your fingers crossed for me?"

"I will," Simka said, doing the gesture.

They chatted a while longer, Elaine asking about her and the baby as though it'd been a week since she last saw her. Simka gave a full report as well as tidbits from the other guys. A smile was plastered to Elaine's face, feeling for a moment she wasn't a thousand miles away.

"I wish I could talk longer," she said when a lull finally came over them, "but I'm pretty tired."

"All right," Simka said sadly but understandingly. "Goodnight, and good luck tomorrow. Oh, oh! When you can, send me some pictures of the apartment. I wanna see it!"

"I will," Elaine chuckled. "Goodnight. The same to Latka… I miss you already."

"I miss you already, too, Elaine."

"Tomorrow could you let the others know I'm here and settled?"

"Yes, I will."

"Thanks… talk to you soon?"

"Youbetcha."

Elaine hung up the phone with a sigh. Looking around the room, she was brought back to reality. She wasn't a simple phone call away. She was a pricey phone bill away. She couldn't talk to Simka like this every night. If she could, maybe things would feel more familiar. Writing allowed for more detail, but it could never match hearing someone's voice… even if the voice on the other end took getting used to such with Simka and Latka's.

Starting into the living room, the balcony caught her eye. Opening the door, she decided to step out for a minute. Chicago wasn't such a bad place, she thought taking in a deep breath. It wasn't so different from New York, either. Not at this angle. In time she'd learn her landmarks. The desire to be home would pass soon enough. For all she knew, this move could turn out to be the best decision of her life.

Her mind continued to wander, completely forgetting Arnie was waiting out in the living room for her. When he stepped outside and joined her, wrapping his arms around her waist, she jumped half a foot in the air.

"Didn't mean to scare ya," he laughed.

"I'm sorry. I only meant to be a moment."

"Don't worry about it. Not too bad a view, huh?" he said, pointing out in front of them.

"It's lovely. I didn't dare open my windows back home. First week I was there my upstairs neighbor drunkenly showed up on my fire escape. I kept my blinds shut since."

"I always wondered about that."

She chuckled, then turned serious after a moment. "Arnie… can I talk to you for a minute?"

Hiding his instantaneous nerves, he said, "Of course. What's on your mind?"

With a sigh, she began. "I feel like I should have been more excited about your promotion. Instead, I made it about me and the kids and whether or not it was good for us. I didn't stop and think much about how either decision would affect you. Even when you told me… I jumped right past the congratulations and straight to what it meant for me and our relationship. It was selfish and I'm sorry. I've been feeling terrible about it."

"Is this what's been bothering you?" Arnie questioned.

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, Elaine. It may take me a while, but I eventually pick up on signals. Clearly, something's been eating at you. I wanted to ask but wasn't sure if you wanted to talk about it. I know I put you on the spot. I decided to wait and see if you brought it up – and you have."

She had to laugh. "You're silly. For the future, you have my permission to ask me if something's bothering me. I didn't want to bring it up and worry you. I do know you have a lot on your mind with work."

"You can also tell me right off the bat. I'm new to this remember?" He winked.

Elaine nodded. "I will…"

"And just so we're square, I didn't think you were being selfish. It was easy for me to say yes with no consideration. I'm used to being a single guy and only having to answer for myself."

"We've been together for over a year now," she reminded.

"Shows you how well I've done with women in the past."

"Stop it," she lightly slapped his arm. "None of that matters now. I'm glad we're here."

"Really?"

She nodded again.

"I'm glad. Because you're more important than any job."

Touching his cheek, she said, "You're such a dear man…"

"I love you, Elaine."

"I love you, too." Stepping back, she took his hand and said with a raise of her eyebrows, "Come on, let's go inside."

. . .

Simka blinked back tears as she hung up the phone. Turning to Latka, she asked with a sniff, "Why did she have to leave?"

Latka frowned. "I don't know."

"What do you think are the chances she and Arnie will break up and she will come back to New York where she belongs?"

"Simka, what are you saying?"

She shook her head as she looked down. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't say such things. I am being selfish and a horrible friend to Elaine."

"No, no," he corrected. "That's not what I meant. I mean about your gift. You matched Elaine with her soul mate?"

Guiltily, she looked up again. "Lately, I've been feeling strange about it… as though I have made a mistake."

Taking her hands, Latka said, "No, Simka, never. You miss Elaine right now, that's all."

"My darling… I am afraid I haven't been honest with you."

"What do you mean?"

Simka began. "I truly believe I have made a mistake. I'm not making this up because I want Elaine to come home. I've had this feeling ever since Arnie and Elaine started getting more and more serious. One night we were talking, Elaine and me, and she was talking about Arnie and I picked up on something I don't think I can explain with words. All I can say is that a feeling came over me telling me that Arnie is not the one she is destined to be with." She moved to the sofa and hid her face in her hands. "Latka," she said when she looked up again. "I've made a horrible mistake. It's my fault she isn't here. I wanted to say it sooner but I didn't wanna ruin anything. Not our friendship and I didn't want to hurt Arnie. I told myself they would break up. They had to if they are not destiny. But they didn't. Anyways, I don't know how much Elaine believes in my gift. She may think I'm crazy."

"Of course she believes," Latka said.

"No," she insisted. "Americans do not embrace these sorts of gifts. Not unless they are paying money to hear their fortunes at a carnival."

"Well… then why didn't you tell her when she asked you what you thought about her leaving?"

"I started to," Simka admitted. "I said that she should dump Arnie and stay here."

"What did she say to that?" he questioned, a bit surprised.

"She laughed. I was too obvious with my words. Too emotional, too. She didn't take me seriously, so I took it back. I didn't mean for it to explode outta me that way. I told her instead that I didn't want her to go." With another sniff, she reached for her husband. "Oh, Latka… I am afraid I have ruined Elaine's life."

Putting his arm around her, he pulled her close to him. "Don't worry, Simka. It isn't your fault. I'm sure everything will be fine with Elaine and Arnie. Maybe it's the baby that's making you think you've made a mistake."

"No," she snapped, "this was before the baby. I'm telling you, Elaine is meant to be with someone else. I just wish I knew who so I can tell her before it's too late."


	16. A Sure Sign

The next day, Elaine set out on her job search. It turned into more of a sightseeing trip, getting sidetracked as she looked for the art district. Having had a bought of insomnia, she combed through the phonebook looking up names. She found a few and used those addresses as a guide. Ideally, she would have hailed a cab, however, she wasn't quite past the sentiment yet.

Arriving at one of the addresses by early afternoon, she walked in to browse. She wasn't sure how to go about the inquiry. She fell into the job in New York, more or less. The naivete she possessed ten years ago was long gone. Panic set in at the thought. She was in her thirties now. This was an age of establishment, not beginning.

"Beautiful piece, isn't it?" a woman's voice said from behind her.

Turning around with a jolt, Elaine answered, "Oh, yes. Very."

The woman, somewhere in her sixties or seventies, gave her a gentle smile. "Didn't mean to startle you, dear. It's nice to see someone so engrossed in a piece."

"It's been a while since I've taken the time to appreciate a painting," she played along, not wanting to admit she'd been looking through it the last five minutes. "Do you work here? You have some lovely pieces."

"Chief Curator," she said with a nod. Then holding out her hand, she greeted, "Mildred Hughes. Nice to know you."

Accepting the handshake, she replied, "You, too. I'm Elaine Nardo."

"You seem to know your stuff, Ms. Nardo. I don't believe I've seen you in here before."

"I just moved here from New York," she explained. "I worked in a gallery there."

"Oh? Which one?"

"The Hazeltine."

"Ah, I believe I remember when that one opened," Mildred said. "I used to live in New York myself."

"How funny!"

"What brings you to Chicago?" she then asked. "Must have been hard to leave all those museums."

"It was. My boyfriend was promoted and had to move here. My kids and I came with him. This is actually my first full day here."

"Well, welcome to Chicago!"

"Thank you," Elaine smiled.

"I suppose then you've been out looking for a job?"

"Am I that transparent?" Elaine questioned.

"To the trained eye." Mildred winked. "I've dedicated the greater portion of my life to the arts. You've got the 'look'."

Embarrassed, Elaine laughed. "Then I suppose there's no harm in my asking if you've got an opening? Or know of a gallery that has? I was a receptionist at The Hazeltine, but I was put in charge of several openings and displays. I didn't think ahead enough to keep a resume in hand, I'm afraid."

"I think I can arrange something for a fellow New Yorker," Mildred said, squeezing Elaine's wrist.

"You mean it?" Elaine gasped.

Mildred nodded. "In a few weeks, my current receptionist will be out for maternity leave. You can temp for her then. In the meantime, if you don't mind part-time odd jobs, I can find something for you to do."

"Oh, anything. Anything at all."

"Excellent! Why don't you come back tomorrow morning? I'll have time then to give you a proper tour and have you fill out the paperwork. Say ten o'clock?"

"I'll be here," Elaine said, elated. "I don't know how I can thank you for this."

"Right place at the right time. I look forward to hearing about your experiences in New York."

"Thank you so much."

Elaine left the gallery feeling refreshed. All that worrying for nothing, she thought, feeling silly now. A lucky break, sure, but as Mildred said, things aligned. Until now, she hadn't realized the desperate plea for a sign that she'd made the right decision. Now it was looking clearer. Though she had never quite bought into Simka's matchmaking gift, seeing how quickly things were beginning to settle, she had to wonder if there was something to it after all. If she was destined to be with Arnie, of course things were going to fall into place.

_Everything is going to be okay._


	17. Literature and Lasagna

Jason and Jennifer were surprised by their mother's good spirits when they were picked up from school. Arnie was plumb shocked when he came home and was greeted by a spitfire.

"Arnie! How was your first day? Do you like the job? Is it much more difficult? You're smiling so I'll take that as a good sign. I had a good day, too! You'll never guess what happened."

"What? You found a candy store and bought them out?" he laughed, giving her a quick kiss before she could start talking again.

Elaine rolled her eyes, chuckling along with him. "So, I'm excited. Forgive me."

"Well, go on," Arnie motioned with his hand. "What's this terrific news?"

"I've been hired by the Eldridge gallery! It's a bit of a step back as far as experience goes, but the woman I met there was super kind and understanding. I really can't believe it if I'm being honest. I'm going back tomorrow to figure out the fine details. I'm thrilled to have anything right now. I don't know how permanent it will be as I won't officially be starting until their current receptionist takes leave with her baby, but it's more than I expected this soon."

"That's marvelous!" Arnie cheered, hugging her. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you," she hugged back. "Enough about me now. Not another word. Tell me about your first day."

"Surprisingly good," he answered as he led her over to the couch. "I was swamped with paperwork but the pressure wasn't too high. The people are nice. I have my own office with a fantastic view. Once I get settled there I promise I'll take you and the kids on the grand tour."

"I'm looking forward to it," she beamed.

Raising an eyebrow, Arnie question, "Are you the same Elaine I left this morning who was half asleep in her cup of coffee?"

"Yes and no," she chuckled.

"Either way, it's nice to have you back… So tell me, do Jason and Jennifer like their new school?"

Elaine nodded. "So far so good. Jason's already made some friends. I'm sure they'll tell you the rest over dinner."

"Good, I'm starved. What are we having?"

"I made lasagna. Hope that's all right?"

Arnie licked his lips. "Delicious."

"Good," she said, patting his knee as she stood up. "It's just about ready. Would you mind calling the kids in?"

"Sure thing." He got up and knocked on each of their doors. Jason rushed out, a ravenous look in his eyes.

Upon seeing him, Elaine asked, "Could you please set the table?"

Jason groaned. "It's Jennifer's turn. I did it last time."

"Fine," she said turning back to the oven, "Jennifer, please set the table."

"She hasn't come out of her room yet," Jason replied.

Passing the oven mitts to Arnie as he walked into the kitchen, she passed him to knock on Jennifer's door herself. "Jennifer, honey. It's time for dinner. I need you to set the table."

"Just a minute," Jennifer called back.

" _Now_."

"Mommy," she whined, "I just want to finish reading this chapter. I'm at the best part!"

"As thrilled as I am that you are engrossed in a book, I asked you to do something and I expect it done now. Come set the table for dinner."

A few seconds later, Jennifer angrily swung her door open. "Fine!"

Elaine, Jason, and Arnie froze as they watched her, nearly breaking the plates that had just survived a trip halfway across the country as she tossed them on the table. Jennifer wasn't quick to anger, or else Elaine wouldn't have simply stood by and watched.

Noticing all eyes were on her, Jennifer questioned, "What?"

"What's the matter with you?" Jason asked.

"None of your business!"

"Jennifer," Elaine scolded. "What's gotten into you? Apologize to your brother."

She did so ruefully, sparking a back and forth between the two kids. After sending Arnie an apologetic look, Elaine strode over to the kids and stood between them.

"Enough… enough!"

"She started it," Jason sneered.

"I did not!"

"I don't care who started it. Both of you go to your rooms a cool down."

"But I'm hungry!" Jason said.

"I don't care, now go to your room. We'll try again in a few minutes."

Jason and Jennifer grumbled as they obeyed their order, Jennifer taking a final shot at Jason before slamming her door shut.

"I hate you!"

Plopping down at the table, Elaine said, "I'm so sorry. I was hoping they'd spare you a quarrel tonight."

"Don't worry about it," Arnie said, reaching for her hand. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything… I never know if I should. I'm no good at conflict. I'm better with the fun stuff."

"Trust me, you'll get used to it."

"What do you mean? They don't fight that often."

Elaine laughed. "That's because you haven't lived with them before now. They do this at least once a week. Usually more. Though, they don't typically get this riled up… guess they have had a lot going on the last few days. Well, you can get started if you'd like. Eat it while it's hot."

"Nah, I can wait."

A few minutes later, Elaine called Jason and Jennifer back out of their rooms. From there, their usual apologetic routine took place, Elaine prompting them each to apologize if they didn't do so on their own.

"Do you think we can eat now?" Elaine asked.

Both kids nodded, Jason rushing past her to get back to the table. Jennifer stayed behind and said, "I'm sorry, Mommy."

Patting Jennifer's head, Elaine asked, "Is everything all right? You seem upset about something."

Jennifer shook her head. "I'm fine. I was just at a really great part of a book… I didn't want to stop reading."

"Are you sure that's all?" The cloud of sadness hanging over the girl couldn't go unnoticed.

Alas, Jennifer smile and nodded, then took her seat at the table.


	18. Gwen

After a week at the Eldridge, Elaine felt almost as home there as she had at the Hazeltine. All this, she was sure, was thanks to Mildred. She found herself looking forward to their conversations. Mildred had led an interesting life. Still, she started to long for the friendships she'd left in New York. Chatting at work wasn't the same as going to grab a beer.

"Ah, right on time," Mildred greeted her the next Monday morning. "How was your weekend?"

"It was fine, thanks. And yours?"

"Also fine," the woman smiled.

Once Elaine was settled, Mildred came over to her with a notepad in hand. "I have some meetings to attend today. Not much will be going on here, I'm afraid. One of our artists should be stopping by with a couple of paintings for the exhibit on Friday. When she gets here you can help her hang them in the other room. She'll know where they're supposed to go, but if there are any questions Sandra will be in around noon."

"Sounds good."

"For the rest, I think you know the routine by now."

Elaine nodded, "Yes, I do."

"Good, I will see you later, then." Mildred headed toward the door but paused at the front desk. "Try not to need me, but if absolutely necessary, the number where you can reach me is on that piece of paper."

"Everything should be fine," Elaine assured. "Thanks."

Elaine finished her daily chores quickly without the distraction of Mildred or other patrons. She hadn't been kidding when she said it would be a quiet day. The rest of the time was spent admiring the paintings and sculptures. She never did get to finish browsing last week.

Late morning, her attention was drawn back to the front when she heard someone come in.

"Hello?"

"Hello, sorry," Elaine said as she hurried to the desk. "Can I help you?"

"I'm Gwen Borchert. I spoke to Millie over the weekend and told her I'd be dropping off my paintings. Is she here?"

"Oh," Elaine said as she held out her hand, "I've been expecting you. Mildred is attending meetings all day and told me to help you. I'm Elaine Nardo."

Shaking her hand, Gwen said, "Nice to meet you."

"Let me help you with those," Elaine said coming out from behind the desk.

"Thank you," she said, handing her the smaller of the two frames.

Elaine led them to the exhibit hall, glad Gwen knew which spots were reserved for her as Sandra wasn't in yet. As Gwen uncovered them, she couldn't help but sneak a peek.

"Wow," she breathed, holding up one side as Gwen fastened it to the wall. "This is magnificent!"

"You mean it?" Gwen blushed.

"Yes! I don't think I've seen a style quite like this… a mix of abstract and impressionism, hmm?"

"Yes! Thank you… Kind of daring, I know, given the trends these days. I dunno. I never do well keeping up with the times."

"I understand that."

"Do you paint?"

"Oh, no," Elaine corrected. "I mean, I do when I have the time, but that hasn't been recent. It's just for fun. I mean keeping up with things in general – You got it?"

Gwen nodded. "Yes, I think so." She took a few steps back. "I'm sure I'll be fussing with it again on Friday night regardless. Anyway, I agree with that, too. I would have been happy staying in the 70s. And I really do appreciate your feedback. Most of what I hear comes from my five-year-old daughter – not that she isn't generous."

"Aw, what's her name?"

"Faye," she answered. "It's good to hear an outside opinion. This is the first time I'm having my work displayed. I'm a bit nervous."

"You have nothing to worry about," Elaine said as she started to unwrap the second painting. "They are breathtaking."

"Stop it," Gwen scolded with a chuckle. "You're gonna give me a big head."

"Fine, fine. I'll save it all for the opening," she winked.

"So long as you're in the earshot of interested buyers!"

"Is Faye coming with you?" Elaine asked as they started on the second frame.

"Absolutely," Gwen answered. "She loves seeing all the paintings. She comes almost everywhere with me so I guess she had no choice but to fall in love with art, too."

"Gosh, you're lucky. I wish mine showed more interest."

"You have kids?"

"Two," Elaine nodded. "Jason and Jennifer."

"Precious! How old?"

"Twelve and nine."

"Do they get bored at the openings?"

"The handful of times I've tried to take them, yes. Last time they ran around the place and nearly broke two sculptures. That was years ago, but I don't dare bring them again."

"You poor thing," Gwen sympathized, though she was more amused. "I think it's easier with one."

"She could teach mine a lesson or two, I'm sure." She stepped back from the hung painting and waited for approval.

Gwen gave a thumbs up before continuing. "I am grateful she's a fairly well-behaved child. Her father left shortly after she was born and I haven't heard from him since. I'm making more money now, but for a while, I held out until a babysitter was absolutely necessary."

"I'm sorry…"

"Oh gosh, no, I am. Really." She shook her head. "I don't make it a habit of telling the personal details of my life to people I've just met."

"Don't be sorry, I understand. Jennifer and Jason's father left, too. Fortunately, he did stay involved. I would have been lost if he hadn't."

Sympathizing as well, Gwen said, "I can't say I was lost, but again, having one makes things easier."

"But so young?" Elaine responded.

Gwen shrugged. "I got by. I wasn't a stranger to kids. I took care of my little sister for a few years. She still comes around when she can which has made a huge difference. And here I go again… I tend to ramble."

"Please, it's okay," Elaine said. "I'm happy to have a conversation. I just moved to Chicago and haven't met many people yet."

"Oh, welcome! Where did you move from?"

"New York City," she answered.

"New York!" Gwen said with awe in her voice. "What a dream! Why would you ever leave?"

Amused, Elaine said, "I take it life in Chicago wasn't your first choice?"

"Oh, enough about me. I'll get there someday. What brought you to Chicago?"

Elaine told her story, finding it as easy to open up to Gwen as she had to her. She mentioned her doubts and regrets as well as her gratefulness for all the good things that had happened for her in just a week. She told her about the guys back home as well as her lament being away from Simka and the baby. Gwen listened with genuine interest, something Elaine silently added to her list of things she was thankful for.

"Sounds like New York is home to some wonderful people."

"You take the good with the bad," Elaine joked. "I guess this carrying on thing is catchy. I've sure talked your ear off."

"Hey, don't worry about it. I've spent the last three weeks trying to perfect these paintings. I forgot what it's like to have an adult conversation." Checking her watch, she then said, "Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pick Faye up from daycare. I will see you Friday, won't I?"

"I'll be here. I'm looking forward to meeting Faye!"

"If you work up the courage, maybe you can bring your little monsters, too," Gwen winked. "It's been so great talking with you. I hope we will again sometime? You know, assuming we'll both be running around at the opening."

"I'd like that," Elaine smiled, walking her to the door. "Very much."


	19. Homesick

After her conversation and reminiscing with Gwen, Elaine felt the strong need to call home. It'd been tempting to use the phone at the gallery, especially since only one other person came in after Gwen had left and Sandra assisted them. Nonetheless, she resisted, counting the minutes until dinner would be over.

"Honey, while you're going through paperwork, I'm going to make some calls."

"Sure, sweetie," Arnie looked up and grinned. "Let me know when you're done."

"I will."

She was almost in the bedroom when he asked, "Calling New York?"

"Yeah… I know it's a toll call, but I'll be getting paid from the gallery soon. I was thinking about them earlier and—"

"You don't need to explain. I know you miss them."

Elaine looked down.

Arnie laughed. "You afraid to admit it or something?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I guess. I didn't want to disappoint you."

"And you call me the silly one," he scoffed. Then waving his hand, he said, "Go call them. Don't worry about the price."

"Thanks," she said, looking up again with a smile. "I shouldn't be too long."

Sitting down on the bed with the phone, she contemplated who to call first. Figuring she'd get an angry call from him if she didn't, she decided to catch up with Louie. Pleasant enough given his usual level of conversation. Short and as sweet as she could make it, threatening to hang up and never call again if he so much as cracked a dirty joke. Afterward, she tried Jim at the garage with no answer. Tony gave her most of the news from home, staying on the line for half an hour before she realized she still had two more calls to make. Having talked to Simka most recently, she decided to dial Alex next.

"Hello?" he answered after a few rings.

"Alex, hi! Oh my goodness, it's so wonderful to hear your voice."

Perking up, he said, "Elaine! Wow, it's great to hear yours, too. I've been wondering if you'd forgotten about us. How's life in Chicago so far?"

"Hardly," she scoffed. "Life is good. I managed to find a job at a gallery here. Kind of a temp job, I guess, but could turn into more if I play my cards right. In any case, it's something for now."

"Hey, that's great."

"I've met some nice people, too. Mildred, the woman who hired me, used to live in New York. And today I met one of the artists being showcased in the next opening. A very sweet woman. I told her all about you guys. It reminded me that I've neglected to call. Things have been so busy."

"How're Arnie and the kids?" Alex asked.

"Arnie's enjoying his new job, though, I can tell it's taken a lot out of him with everything that's had to be done. The kids are fine. Getting settled."

"That's good. I'm glad things are working out for you."

"Thanks… How have things been there? How have you been? Anything new?"

"To answer all three questions, same as usual. Well, mostly. It's strange not having you around the garage."

"It's strange not being there," she sighed. "I miss you guys so much. I wish I could have brought all of you with me."

"Me, too. I mean, we all miss you. Aside from that, we've all been well. Nothing out of the ordinary. Tony and I went to a hockey game the other day. That's probably the most exciting thing that's happened to me."

"Believe it or not, I'm jealous."

"You hate hockey."

Elaine laughed. "I know, but it's… normal. It's home. It's nice here and all, don't get me wrong. I'm just having trouble warming up to it and considering it 'home'."

"It will come in time."

"I hope it's sooner than later," she mumbled.

"You know you're also welcome to call me when you need to hear a familiar voice."

"I'll take you up on that." She smiled. "I've been meaning to call before now. Time keeps getting away from me."

"Understandable."

"Well…" she said after a long pause. "It's getting late. I've still got to give Simka a call. Have you seen her lately?"

"No, not really," he lied, not wanting to be the one to tell her Simka had been sulking since she left. "Listen, I'm glad you called. And I mean it. Any time you want to call I'm here or at the garage."

"I will. You, too. I'm usually here in the afternoons and evenings."

"Talk to you later then?"

"Absolutely… take care."

"You, too."

Elaine gently hung up the phone. _Maybe making these calls wasn't such a good idea._ Homesickness had rushed over her more with every call. Still, she knew she needed to call Latka and Simka. She wanted to know how things were going, anyway. Wanting it done and over with for the night, she picked up the receiver yet again.


	20. Gallery Opening

Talking to everyone back home made for a bittersweet rest of the week. Come Friday, though, Elaine's attention was wholly on the exhibit opening. She'd asked Arnie to attend with her to no avail.

"You know I'm not comfortable 'round those kinds of people."

She didn't bother to argue, content enough to let him bond with the kids without her around. Granted, that didn't come without his nerves, either.

She spent the greater portion of Friday afternoon getting ready. She cut no corners. New dress, fresh manicure, and hair professionally styled. These events were vital for making contacts. The luxury of familiar faces was no more. At least Mildred and Gwen would be there. She was particularly looking forward to seeing Gwen. It would be good to have a friend in Chicago. Mildred was a lovely woman, but she was still her boss.

To her delight, Gwen was there upon her arrival with Faye in tow. Both were looking at Gwen's paintings. Elaine smiled at the sight. Faye looked an awful lot like her mother.

"Opening night jitters?" Elaine asked, walking up to them.

Gwen laughed. "Only a whole lot."

"You'll be the hit on the evening, I'm sure of it."

"That's so kind of you to say."

Faye tugged on her mother's dress.

"Oh! Elaine, this is my daughter, Faye."

Elaine couched down to Faye's height, holding out her hand. "It's nice to meet you, Faye. Your mother was telling me wonderful things about you."

With a shy smile, Faye shook her hand. "Thank you."

Standing up again, Elaine said to Gwen, "She's adorable!"

"Thank you," Gwen said. "I take it you didn't work up the nerve to bring yours?"

"Hardly," she chuckled. "I've barely been here two weeks. I'm not quite ready to jeopardize my job yet."

Gwen and Elaine talked off and on throughout the night, both running around and networking in different circles. The evening went on without a hitch, Elaine secretly grateful not to have much responsibility as she would have back in New York. With no specific job title just yet, she couldn't help but feel out of place. Luckily, she knew enough how to fake it. She met some people, more concerned about getting her name out more than making a firm contact.

"Elaine! Guess what?" Gwen rushed up to her toward the end of the night.

"What is it?" Elaine asked, trying to match her enthusiasm.

"Someone is interested in buying my paintings! And another person talked to me about a commission. I don't believe it!"

"Oh my gosh, how wonderful!" Elaine cheers. "Congratulations!"

"I thought I was lucky enough simply being displayed. I'm at a loss for words."

"See? I told you you'd be a hit."

Gwen smiled. "I don't know how to thank you. Really, I was a wreck this morning. I kept telling myself that an art expert from New York thinks the paintings are good, I should be able to survive the night with minimal embarrassment."

"Don't sell yourself short. Besides, I'm hardly an expert. Let's go with a seasoned apprentice."

"Either way, I appreciate the support."

"Mommy," Faye whined from behind her mother. "I'm tired."

"I know, sunshine. We'll be leaving in a few minutes." Looking back up at Elaine, Gwen finished, "I wish I could talk more. I have to say goodnight to a few more people, but I couldn't leave until I told you the good news."

"I'm glad you found me."

"I hope to see you again sometime."

"Me, too. I've enjoyed your company."

"So have I!"

Thinking a moment, Elaine then said, "Would you and Faye want to come to dinner sometime? No pressure, of course. I know we've just met and all—"

Gwen cut her off with a chuckle. "We would love to."

"Let me grab a piece of paper to write down my number. I haven't got around to getting new cards printed yet. Let me know which nights work best for you. I'm pretty open."

After the exchange of numbers, they said their final goodnight, Faye practically asleep in her mother's arms by this point. Elaine felt silly for the excitement she felt on the way home. She'd never had trouble establishing friendships, but given the people she left behind, she'd convinced herself it wouldn't happen again. Not on that level. It was enough to make her wonder if she should start driving again. She was glad it didn't seem to be coming to that.

She hadn't realized how late she'd stayed out until she returned home to a dark and quiet house. Glad to see it was still before midnight, she didn't mind so much about waking Arnie to tell him how the opening went.

"That's great, honey," he said with a yawn when he thought she was finished. He settled back into the pillows.

Elaine carried on. "I invited that artist I mentioned earlier this week to dinner, too. We left it with Sunday, though she's going to call and confirm. It's just her and her daughter. There's an age difference but she and Jennifer might get along. At least enough to keep entertained. Speaking of my kids… did they give you any trouble tonight?"

"Nah, they were fine. Jason and I caught the basketball game on TV and Jennifer was in her room reading."

"All night? She was there before I left for the gallery."

Arnie shrugged. "She came out for a snack at one point."

"I'm starting to worry about her," she said, climbing into bed having finished changing into her pajamas. "She's always been a good reader but not like this. Never holding up dinner to finish a chapter and isolating herself. She likes to be where everyone else is. Do you think she's all right?"

"I dunno," he yawned again, turning away from her on his side. "Kids confuse me. I'm sure it's just a little case of homesickness."

"I just wish she'd talk to me. This has never been a problem before. I mean, she's always been an open kid. Jason, too. I'm surprised he hasn't said anything, either. Maybe I should try talking to her again tomorrow."

"Mhmm."

Elaine sighed, realizing Arnie was useless for a conversation right now. Laying her head down, she looked at the clock again. Now it was after midnight, meaning it was one o'clock in New York. Too late to call Alex, she thought, or else he was driving. He'd at least sympathize if he couldn't provide an answer. She shook her head, not wanting to taint the good evening she'd had with her own homesickness. It was growing tiresome, as though with every bit of good that came from Chicago, she searched until she found a reason why New York was better. Not tonight. She'd worry about Jennifer tomorrow. Hopefully, a dinner gathering would get her spirits up again.


	21. Friends and Bullies

Mentions of a dinner party didn't change Jennifer's mood much. Elaine tried to no avail, eventually giving up and setting her focus on tidying the apartment for Sunday.

Dinner was a success down to the smallest details. Jason was bored, but Jennifer and Faye spent half the evening playing board games and coloring. Arnie had made plans with a couple of guys from work, something he neglected to announce until Saturday night. Despite her initial vexation, Elaine and Gwen hardly noticed, far too busy chatting and going through Elaine's photo albums of New York.

"Ooh, he's a cutie," Gwen giggled, pointing to one of the guys in the photo.

Elaine chuckled. "Isn't he? That's Tony."

"Gosh, how did you stay away from him?"

"I had a major crush on him at first."

"And you didn't do anything about it?"

"Nah," Elaine said, waving her hand. "When I started working at the garage, I was still pretty fresh off my divorce. I didn't want to get myself into any drama. I'm glad of it, too. These guys were the best friends anyone could ask for."

Gwen smiled. "Well, if he's single and he ever comes for a visit, you have my number."

Both women were still laughing when Jennifer and Faye came up to them.

"Mommy," Jennifer said, "do you want to see what we drew?"

"Of course!"

The girls led their mothers to Jennifer's room, a mess of papers, crayons, and markers littering the center of the room. Faye grabbed an armful, proudly showing off her work.

They said goodnight soon after realizing the hour, much to the kids' chagrin. As they waved goodbye, Jennifer tugged on Elaine's arm.

"Can Faye come over again sometime?"

"Absolutely," Elaine beamed. "I'm so glad the two of you hit it off. I'll admit I was a little worried if she was too young for you."

Jennifer shrugged. "I don't mind. I'd rather have a kid friend than no friends at all."

Elaine's smile faded. "No friends? You mean you haven't made any here yet?"

Looking away, Jennifer wished she hadn't said anything. "I mean… I finally had a friend over to the house."

Taking a gentle hold of her daughter's chin, Elaine said, "Look at me…" When Jennifer turned, she went on. " _What is going on_? Tell me the truth."

Jennifer didn't answer, but her tears gave her away.

"Have you made a friend at school?"

She shook her head.

With a sigh, Elaine picked her up and carried her to the couch. "Sweetheart, why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know," Jennifer sniffed. "I didn't want you to think I'm sad that we left New York."

Elaine reached for a tissue on the side table and gave it to Jennifer before she spoke again. "It's okay to feel sad. I miss New York, too. So much sometimes it makes me wish for a moment we hadn't moved."

"Really?"

Elaine nodded.

"But you have friends here. I have none. Other than maybe Faye now, but it's not really the same."

"Give it time," Elaine said.

Jennifer shook her head, crying harder. "They hate me."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is! Especially these three girls, Vanessa, Tara, and Katie. They sit near me and are always making fun of me. I tried making friends but they're afraid of those girls so they ignore me. They left me alone for a little while after I gave up, but now they've been taking my books. Tara ripped one the other day. It was a library book too and I got in trouble for it."

"You should have told me about this sooner," Elaine said, exasperated. "This should have been addressed as soon as it started."

"I tried telling the teacher," Jennifer admitted, "but she didn't believe me and it made things worse. They called me a tattletale and said I'd run home crying to you. I didn't want them to be right."

"It's not tattling when it's something serious. I'm going to have a talk with your teacher tomorrow and I'm going to get to the bottom of this."

"No! Jennifer panicked. "That will make everything worse!"

"This can't go unaddressed by me, especially if your teacher isn't doing anything about it."

"It's not going to make a difference. I'm telling you, they all hate me."

"Intimidated by those girls is more likely the case," Elaine said. "You got along great with the kids at your old school."

"That was New York. Everyone in Chicago hates me. I hate it here! I want to go home!" Jennifer slid off the couch and started storming off to her room.

"Jennifer!" Elaine called after her. But Jennifer didn't stop until she was in her room, slamming the door behind her.

Elaine sighed, stopping herself from following. It was better to let her calm down. It wouldn't change her mind. Tomorrow she had to go to the school. How hadn't she put two and two together? Neither of the kids had ever had problems with other kids before. _Well_ , she thought, _at least now I know._

So wrapped up in her thoughts, she hadn't heard Jason come out of his room and walk up behind her.

"Mommy?"

"Oh," she jumped. "You startled me. What is it?"

"What's the matter with Jennifer?"

Elaine shook her head. "She finally told me what's been going on at school."

"Those girls are so obnoxious," he scoffed.

Turning her head quickly, she questioned, "You knew?"

"… yeah. They were hassling her a few times when I was going to the park after school."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Jen made me promise I wouldn't."

"Jason! You should know better than to keep secrets like that."

"Are you mad?"

She shook her head. "No… I'm mad at the situation."

"What are you gonna do?"

"What can I do other than talk to her teacher and maybe the principal? She did say she tried talking to the teacher…"

"She's awful," Jason said. "My friend Ryan had her and she picks her pets."

"Oh boy," she breathed. "Wish me luck, then."

"Good luck," he obliged.

After sending Jason to bed, Elaine hoped enough time had passed for Jennifer to cool down. Lightly, she knocked on the door before poking her head in.

"Are you asleep?"

"No," Jennifer whined from under the covers.

Elaine walked over to her and sat down on the bed. "I'm so sorry that you've been going through this. It ends now, though. If it continues or gets worse, I need you to tell me right away, all right?"

"Okay…"

"I promise, we're going to figure this out."

Uncovering her head, Jennifer said, "Thanks, Mommy."

Kissing her head, Elaine finished, "Things will get better."


	22. Nightmare

Early the next morning, Elaine went down to the school demanding a meeting. Luckily, she didn't get any arguments, at least not until she came face to face with the teacher. She wasn't sure how much had been settled, the teacher seemingly seasoned in these matters. Still, the woman defended the bullies, saying these things happen to the new kids. Elaine blew up at this. In the end, it was settled to move her to a new desk with Elaine's addition of her being moved to a new class should problems persist. Whatever it was (she had a feeling Jason intervened) seemed to work, because Jennifer seemed sincere the next week when she said things were better. Not perfect, but better.

The next two months came and went with a sense of normalcy. Both Arnie and Elaine were settled in their jobs and the kids were at least more settled in school. Gwen and Faye were frequent guests at the apartment, Arnie received a bonus, and Jason made it onto the soccer team. Elaine felt silly looking back on her first days in Chicago. Life was different, sure, but it was good.

After a hectic week at the gallery and playing referee for half a dozen of Jason and Jennifer's arguments, Elaine was grateful when Arnie called to say he had to work late one Friday night. Jason had a sleepover with his friend Jack and Jennifer was sleeping over at Gwen's. She needed a quiet night to herself. She mostly puttered, taking care of tasks she'd neglected to finish after moving in. In doing so, she came across a catch-all box. Most of it was odds and ends belonging to the kids along with some winter clothes. Near the bottom laid her nearly forgotten bag from the garage. Suddenly, she remembered the discarded letter to her. Fishing it out of the bag, she eagerly unfolded it and read.

_Dear Elaine,_

_Why is it easier to admit things once they have no chance of happening? It took you leaving to admit to myself everything I've buried the last five or six years. I don't really know when I started to see you as more than my friend Elaine._

_I love you. Plain and simple. I see now that maybe it wouldn't have been such a foolish thing to say to you. God knows I've had my chances. That trip to Europe… what I wouldn't give to go back and spend the entire month with you. I know it was my fault that we didn't get to spend more time together. Ironic I ended up spending most of that time alone, so afraid something would happen between us. I think I created it. I guess had I realized we'd spoil our friendship regardless (though I don't believe we did, not quite), I wish it could have happened sooner than our last night there. Being able to kiss you, hold your hand… not pretend for a while, you know? I know you felt the same way._

_I've been a coward from the start, making up reasons why we shouldn't be together and putting it on you. I'm sorry about that. Now I have to live with the question of what might have happened if we'd just given it a try. Part of me even wishes I'd stopped you from going to Chicago. It's kept me up nights if I'm being honest. I knew the day would come when you or I would marry other people. What I wasn't prepared for was losing you entirely. Maybe that's what brought all of this to the surface. Maybe if you'd just come in saying you were engaged it would have been enough to keep me in line. Now I keep telling myself I'm happy for you and I'm happy you've found a good man like Arnie, but I can't help the part of me that wishes I could have been that guy. And I only have myself to blame even if you refused me. At least I would have tried._

_I said goodbye to you only hours ago and I already miss you terribly. Your friendship has meant so much to me over the years and I'm grateful to have been able to know you. I feel ashamed for trying to skip out on saying goodbye – again, coward. Thank you for saving me from another regret, though I do wish I'd said more. You know that I love you and I should have said so, even if I couldn't say it as profoundly as I mean it._

_I hope to see you again someday. Hopefully getting all of it out on paper will cure me of my present madness even if I can never send it. Silly, huh? If I do see you again, Lord willing I will be in a better place and won't waste it like I did saying goodbye. There's so much more I wanted to say aside from all of this. Things that I could say aloud. So many memories I wanted to relive one more time. Thank you for everything. I don't think anyone has ever shown so much concern for me as you have. It meant a lot, even when it drove me up a wall. You truly are the best friend I've ever had. I will miss you terribly._

_Love,_

_Alex_

Letter clutched so tightly in her hands it started to rip, Elaine collapsed into tears. She counted her blessings that no one was home to hear her and that no one, especially Arnie, had come across it before her.

 _Why_ , was all she could think. _Why now?_ While she couldn't say the confession came as a surprise, she never thought it would have been serious enough to cause Alex such an upset. Of course she'd felt the same way, sometimes more it seemed. Realizing she was wrong broke down every barrier she'd built up around the topic.

She started seeing spots. How could she face Alex again knowing what she knew now? What's worse was that she knew exactly what he meant when he said about the sudden onset. She felt it more with every sentence. She started to panic. How could she put it out of her mind by the time Arnie came home? What did this _mean_? While she had her doubts about Chicago in the beginning, now it seemed like the worst mistake of her life. What bothered her more was the fact she mirrored Alex's feelings at all. If she really loved Arnie, shouldn't Alex be a thing of the past? But Alex wasn't an old flame. He was a friend. Her best friend, too. The fact they'd been intimate once wasn't really a factor.

Guilt started to take over. She thought of all the times she'd gone to him about her and Arnie, good and bad. She remembered how she pushed him to give her answers about whether or not she should marry him and whether or not she should move away. Now she understood why he couldn't. Now she understood how it'd turned into an argument. He _did_ say that he didn't want her to go, even if it wasn't straightforward. _How didn't I see it?_

Realizing she couldn't talk to anyone about this made her feel even more isolated. Arnie was insecure as it was. He couldn't handle knowing someone she was so close to had feelings for her, let alone what could possibly be considered a history. Simka was out. She'd never be able to keep it a secret. Gwen was her only option, though she worried what she might think. It was a chance she had to take, she ultimately decided. She couldn't bury this. Not anymore. She needed someone to stop her from calling Alex to say she loved him, too. That simply was not an option.

 _This has to be a dream,_ she thought. _…a nightmare._


	23. Back in New York

Alex was doing all right. He missed Elaine, of course, but the initial depression over it had subsided. It'd been months since she left and, sadly, he was starting to get used to things without her. He missed having someone to talk to. He didn't realize how much he went to her with his problems. Several times he'd thought about calling her, but something stopped him. Probably her voice. The couple of times he had spoken to her, he had to fight the urge to hop a plane to Chicago and see her.

"Hey Latka," Alex said, brows furrowed over his hand of cards when Latka trudged into the garage one morning. "How are you? You seem exhausted."

"I am," Latka replied. "Simka has been having her morning sickness and it starts at four in the morning. When she isn't on the bathroom floor she is complaining."

"Complaining about what?" Tony questioned, not looking away from his cards.

"Oh everything," Latka grumbled. "The weather, dinner, our apartment, but especially Elaine."

Alex and Tony frowned at the mention of Elaine, though mostly for Simka's sake.

"Do Simka and Elaine ever talk?" Alex asked.

"Every now and then on the phone. Simka says it's not enough. She misses her so terribly."

Tony sighed, "Yeah… so do I."

"Me, too," Alex agreed.

"You think we'll ever see her again?" Tony wondered.

"Yes," Latka began with certainty. "She promised to come when the baby is born. She told me to call her when she is in labor. She told me before she left."

Tony perked up while Alex felt a bit of panic. He was thrilled to know he would get to see her again, but after finally getting to a place where he could go a day or two without thinking about her, he worried seeing her again would undo everything. Ultimately, his happiness prevailed, bringing a smile to his lips.


	24. Seeking Advice

Elaine's mood hadn't improved the next morning. It was all she could do to keep cheerful around Arnie. He knew something was up and broached the subject but didn't push to her relief. She played it out as hormones, which wasn't a complete lie. In any case, it gave her some leeway. It got her by until he left to run some errands. Now she held her breath hoping Gwen would come by with Jennifer before he got back, sending up a prayer of thanks when she did.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked quietly after ushering Jennifer inside.

Sensing the seriousness, Gwen nodded and sent Faye to help Jennifer unpack. The two women slipped into the hallway, keeping the door mostly shut behind them.

"What's the matter?"

Elaine took no time to formulate her words. "I found a letter from my friend Alex last night. I was never meant to read it, but I found it next to the trash when I got my things from the garage. I completely forgot about it until I was unpacking a couple of boxes." She blinked back tears. "There's a lot to explain but I don't know when Arnie will be back."

When she paused, Gwen said with a rolling motion of her hand, "Well? What did it say?"

"He told me that he loved me." She bit her lip.

"I take it this wasn't a platonic confession."

Elaine shook her head. "I don't know what to do. He doesn't know I have it. Like I said, I was never meant to read it. This isn't something I can work out in a phone call even if I felt I could approach him. When I go back when Simka has her baby doesn't feel appropriate either."

"Can't you just pretend you never read it?" Gwen shrugged. "I mean, where you aren't seeing him every day now? Does it make that much a difference? Did you have any idea he feels this way?"

"That's what I meant by there being a lot to explain."

"I have time. Start at least."

Brushing away a couple of tears that managed to slip down her cheeks, Elaine started. "I've already told you I was the closest to Alex. For the most part, we were just good friends. We always knew there was a spark between us but agreed we were better off not getting involved. It didn't get in the way. It was just something we knew, even joked about sometimes. Things were fine."

"So why did the letter come as such a shock?" Gwen questioned. "Look at you, you're shaking."

Elaine sniffed, clenching her hands together. "It was how he said it. He said he regretted not taking a chance and that he wished he'd stopped me from moving here. That was the gist of it. I know it doesn't sound like much… but coming from Alex…" Her eyes shut tight. She couldn't compose herself any longer.

Gwen had reached for her a second before a muffled sob escaped. Elaine was grateful, her legs feeling unusually weak under the stress. It didn't take her long to pull herself together, at which point she stepped back and looked away from Gwen.

"I'm sorry… you must think I'm a mess. Alex is usually the one I go to times like this. Obviously, I can't. I can't tell Arnie, either. He doesn't know our history – if you can call it that – and it will upset him too much if he finds out."

"Elaine," Gwen said sternly, still hanging on to her wrist. "I'm under the impression that you feel the same way about Alex."

Turning for a moment, Elaine moved to lean against the wall, attempting to dry her eyes again. It took her a while before she could answer.

"I don't know," was all she could say.

"You sure?"

After another pause, she shook her head. "No… I don't think I would be so upset if I didn't."

"My thoughts exactly."

"But I _can't_. Not where he didn't say it directly to me. It's not a consideration. It's been months since he wrote it. It was probably a heat of the moment kind of thing. Our goodbye was emotional. He must have written it right after. And what about Arnie? I love him enough to have moved here with him. Doesn't that count for anything?"

"Sure it does," Gwen said.

"It's just… Alex and I have been through so much. Romantic or not there is that history. Other than moving, I haven't been through much at all with Arnie. Not anything outside day to day life. But that isn't a fair comparison because I've known Alex much longer. Then I think that after knowing Alex a year or so I already considered him my best friend. Arnie… it's different. That's the only word I have."

Gwen nodded. "I haven't known you long enough to give you any sound advice. I've only seen you with Arnie and only a handful of times. I do think you should talk things out with Alex when you see him, though. No matter what you decided."

"And create even more of a mess? I haven't spoken to him much since I got here. It's partly my fault – mostly my fault – but I don't want to say something that makes me lose touch completely. At least right now I know I can call and I know he'll be there."

"You've only just read the thing," she reminded. "You might feel differently when you see him. Give it time before you make any decision."

"You're right," she sighed. A sarcastic chuckle soon rose. "I know I'm overreacting. I hope I haven't scared you off. I didn't want to dump this on you, honest. I just—"

Gwen held up her hand. "You don't need to explain. I'm glad you did. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying it a little."

Elaine's eyes widened. "Enjoying?"

She blushed. "Not your being upset. The romance of it all. Aside from Faye's father, I haven't had much experience with men. No one's ever really come to me with this kind of problem, either. It's like a TV movie."

Elaine scoffed. "I only wish you could tell me who I'm supposed to go after in the end."

"Mommy?" Faye said, opening the door.

Though she'd settled down, Elaine still turned to hide whatever dampness that remained on her face. Gwen picked up the little girl, apologetically saying, "I'm afraid the girls were up late… I'm sorry."

Turning back, Elaine smiled as best she could. "Don't worry about it."

"I've got to get her down for a nap. Will you call me later?"

Elaine nodded, thinking a nap sounded like a wonderful idea.


	25. The Call

The next few weeks came and went with a fog. The panic and confliction had long since subsided, replaced by a constant and nagging thought she continuously had to push to the back of her mind. When she'd given it a few days to sink in, the answer was clear. As nice as it was to think of what life might have been like had both she and Alex given into each other before now, it was no longer a possibility. She'd made a commitment to Arnie when she moved with him. She made a commitment to the kids, too. Uprooting them all again for a fantasy wasn't an option. That's all any romantic overtures with Alex had ever been: fantasy.

She did her best to refocus her mind on the new things in her life. They'd been going well before and she could get there again so long as she kept trying. The question of whether or not she should tell Alex still remained, however, it was something that could wait. Gwen was her greatest support, and if nothing else, the letter had been an opening for their friendship to grow.

Gwen was there the night Latka called; an almost nightly routine as of late.

"Phone for you, sweetheart," Arnie said with a grin, coming into the living room from the bedroom.

"Who is it?" she questioned, his tone going unnoticed. "Can I wait?"

"It's Latka."

Realization in her eyes, she replied, "You mean?"

Arnie nodded. "I think so!"

With a squeal, Elaine jumped up and picked up the phone by the door.

Gwen leaned over to Arnie. "What's this all about?"

"Simka's having her baby!"

"Ooh, already?" she gasped. "How wonderful for her!"

"To tell you the truth," Arnie said in a lower voice, "I'm relieved. Elaine's been so homesick lately. A trip to New York is overdue. Might be the remedy she needs."

Gwen nodded, not trusting herself to say anything more.

Elaine didn't waste time on the phone. Within a minute she was back near Arnie and Gwen. At first, she chattered on with an excitement neither of them had seen from her. Soon it turned to a soft panic.

"What am I thinking? Why did I tell him I was on my way? It's late. There might not be a flight until morning. The kids are asleep and I doubt they packed to the extent I asked them to. And what if Vince isn't ready for them yet? There's no time!"

"Hey, hey," Arnie soothed. "Calm down, sweetie. You'll do what you can do."

"I'll go wake the kids if you want?" Gwen offered.

Elaine nodded.

"Unless you want to, Arnie, I can drive them to the airport. I ought to be getting home anyway."

"Fine with me," he replied.

It took an hour to get the kids up, everything packed, and to get out the door. Though she fretted over the time initially, once they were nearing the airport she started to relax.

"Glad to be going home?" Gwen asked in a soft voice, hoping to allow the kids a few more minutes of sleep before being stirred again.

"Mostly yes," Elaine answered.

After a moment, she said, "Don't think about him. Have fun with Simka and the baby."

Elaine sighed. "I'm trying to focus on them. I keep telling myself I will, then I worry I'll crumble the minute I see him."

"It'll be fine. You keep saying you've made your decision so why doubt yourself?"

"Because I don't have your confidence."

"I'll lend it to you then. I promise to go around stewing about presenting my commission to the buyer until you get back if you promise to relax and enjoy a visit with your friends."

Elaine rolled her eyes but couldn't help herself from laughing as well. "Point taken. I'll do my best. I just wish Arnie were coming, you know? It would be easier. I tried convincing him to take a couple of days off."

"He didn't want to come?" Gwen questioned.

"He said it was too soon to take a day off, but I feel like he wasn't interested. Not that he doesn't care that Latka and Simka are having a baby – visiting in general. He's so at home here. I think New York suffocated him."

"Well," Gwen said as she made the final turn for the airport, "he said to me that he's glad you get to go home for a while. You shouldn't hide how much you miss them all."

"I know," Elaine said guiltily. "I know he wants me to. It just doesn't feel right. Not while he's so happy."

"What does that matter if you're down all the time?"

"I'm not down all the time."

"Elaine…"

She grumbled. "Okay, so maybe I have been lately. You know why and you know it's little to do with homesickness."

"All right, I know when to stop talking. Still, I expect you to keep me updated. I can splurge on a long-distance call or two."

Though still a bit annoyed, a genuine smile crossed her face. "Deal."


	26. Amanda Mae Gravas

The next flight to New York City left just after four in the morning, leaving Elaine plenty of time to prepare herself to see (and perseverate over) Alex and the kids plenty of time to whine and fuss over how uncomfortable airport seats are to nap in. The grumbling, exhaustion, and arguments were worth it in the end, all of it melting away as soon as they saw the familiar skyline. They were home.

The kids were the ones to spot Tony waiting for them, threatening to cause Elaine a small stroke when all of a sudden they ran off and mixed themselves in with the crowd. Her fright was soon forgotten when she saw who they ran to, replaced by an instant onset of tears that only seemed to surprise her.

Picking her up and spinning her around, Tony said, "I was afraid I missed you somehow!"

When she was back on the ground she dabbed her eyes with her sleeve. "How did you know I was here?"

"Latka told me you were comin' in on the next flight. I wasn't sure which airport you were flying into."

"I wish I'd known! I would have been sure to call."

"Hey, no sweat. You're here now!" Tony said, giving her another hug.

"Did Simka have the baby yet?" Elaine questioned over the children's chatter to Tony.

"Not last I heard. We should get going though."

"Just let me call Vince real quick and tell him the kids are on their way."

"But Mommy," Jennifer interjected. "I wanna see the baby!"

"Me, too!" Jason said.

"I promise you will before we leave. You'll be bored at the hospital and your dad is looking forward to seeing you."

The kids agreed and shortly were on their way.

Elaine was thankful to have arrived at the hospital before the baby, though, not for Simka's sake. She was greeted by Alex, Jim, and Louie in the waiting room, causing a happy uproar at the sight of her and Tony walking through the doors. Time passed quickly as she filled them in on her life in Chicago and what she'd missed in New York. With all the excitement, she hadn't thought about Alex and the letter since the plane.

An hour and a half later, Latka came out with his proud announcement. "Guess what everybody… I am a father!"

The gang was on their feet in a second, all cheering and huddling around him.

"You can all come see my daughter and Simka in a little bit," he shouted over them. "Elaine! Simka will be so happy to see you."

"Likewise," Elaine said, already tearful thinking about Latka and Simka as parents.

Almost another hour passed before they were led into Simka's room. An excruciating hour it was, no one wanting to wait for a second longer. Chitchat died down, everyone's mind on the newest addition to the Gravas family.

The guys entered first while Latka pulled Elaine aside. "Simka doesn't know you've come yet. I want to surprise her. She thinks you are still waiting for a plane. Wait here for a minute or two before coming in."

"I love it," she squealed. "I'll listen for the right moment."

"Okay, goody," Latka said, stifling his grin as he went back into the room.

"Hi, you guy!" Simka said with a cheerful weariness. "Meet Amanda Mae Gravas."

Everyone awes at the tiny baby in her arms.

"No old country name?" Alex questioned.

"She is American," Latka explained. "We wanted her to have an American name."

"But we did keep with some tradition," Simka added. "Mae was my grandmother's name."

"Ah," Alex crooned. "She is beautiful."

Tony agreed. "The cutest baby I've ever seen."

"Thank you!"

Louie stammered. "Yeah… she's cute I guess. I mean, given she was living in your stomach last night."

Simka rolled her eyes. "You're lucky I'm too tired to scold you."

"Very cute," Jim said. "I've never seen one… so young before. I think."

"Thank you, Jim," Latka replied this time.

Elaine waited a minute longer, wanting the sentiments to die down a bit before making her entrance. Unable to contain herself any longer, she nearly ran into the room.

"All right, step aside you guys. No one has waited longer for this baby than I have – next to Latka and Simka."

"Elaine!" Simka squealed as best as she could manage. "You're here! You're here! But… Latka said you were still in Chicago."

Latka winked. "Surprise!"

After a hug, Elaine looked down at Amanda, fast asleep and oblivious to the welcome party surrounding her. "Oh, Simka… she is so precious."

"Amanda," Simka whispered to the baby. "Meet your Godmother!"

Though she'd known the honor bestowed upon her even before the baby was conceived, fresh tears sprung to Elaine's eyes.

"Would you like to hold her?" Simka offered.

She sniffed. "May I?"

Having an infant in her arms for the first time since Jennifer did nothing to slow her tears, but one look around the room showed her she wasn't the only one with damp eyes. She tried not to keep her away from her mother too long, though she would have been content for time to freeze at this moment.

When she began to hand her back to Simka, Simka asked the others, "Would anyone else like to hold her?"

"I would," Alex answered instantly. "I just hope I remember how… it's been so long."

Elaine chuckled. When Alex was at her side, she maneuvered Amanda into his arms. "Just make sure you support her head… there you go."

Watching the tender exchange through heavy eyelids, Simka was only kept awake by a sudden and nagging feeling in her chest.

"Latka…" she said, tugging on his arm.

"What is it?" he questioned as he leaned closer, kissing her temple in the process.

"I think I've figured out who Elaine is _really_ meant to be with."

"Right now?" he mused. "Who?"

Looking over at Alex and Elaine — dead to the world as they fawned over the baby — and then back at Latka, Simka answered in the softest of whispers, "Alex."

His brow furrowed at first though, but when he looked up at the two, he saw exactly what she was seeing.


	27. Set Up

Elaine made the most of her week in New York. She hung out with the guys at the garage before their shifts, immediately falling into the old routine. They played cards and chatted. When Louie started calling the cabs, she stood up, waiting for her number. She felt foolish the first couple of times. She made sure to stop by the gallery and catch up with everyone there. There were other places she made sure to visit, too, however, most of her time was spent with Latka, Simka, and Amanda. Just as that first morning, she'd been too distracted to think about everything with Alex. It was a good thing, she decided when the thoughts did pop into her head. This proved what she was feeling was a strong case of homesickness. It seemed silly now. She'd never been as hung up on Alex as she'd been the last couple of weeks.

Sadly, it came time to say goodbye again and all too quickly. What was worse was that this time she had no set plan to return. She realized this at her second farewell party, this one hosted at the Gravas' apartment.

"Oh, Elaine…" Simka said sadly, cradling Amanda in her arms. "I wish you could stay longer."

"So do I," she sighed. "Has it really been a week?"

"Can't you stay a couple more days? Through the weekend?" Tony asked.

"I wish I could. The kids will have a mountain of homework to finish before Monday and I've got to get ready to go back to work."

"When… will we see you again?" Jim questioned next.

"Soon, I hope," Elaine said. "I'd love to be back here to celebrate Christmas."

"That long?" Louie added.

She chuckled. "It's only a few weeks away." After a pause in the room, she glanced at her watch. "I guess I better be going. I've got to pick up Jennifer and Jason then hurry to the airport. I'm cutting it close as it is."

"No…" Simka whined, catching her arm.

With sympathetic eyes, Elaine hugged her and gave the baby a kiss. "Congratulations again… You, too, Latka. You better send me pictures."

"Of course," Latka said.

"Many," added Simka.

The rest of the goodbyes weren't nearly as tearful as the first round, and somehow, Elaine managed to keep her emotions intact. After being mobbed with hugs and kisses, she started for the door. There, Simka interjected again.

"Wait, Elaine! How are you getting to the airport?"

"I'm going to catch a cab," Elaine answered, almost laughing at the obviousness of it.

"Oh!" Simka sang. "Wait a minute… Alex is a cab. He will take you!"

Alex laughed. "Yeah, sure. I'll take you."

This was the moment the panic returned. Covering it with a nervous giggle, Elaine said, "That's sweet of… both of you to offer. You don't need to, though. It's a lot of running around and I know you've got to be getting to the garage soon."

"I'll start my shift early," Alex said, walking toward her a little too eagerly. "I've got a car parked around the block."

Seeing no polite way to avoid the offer, she surrendered. "All right. As long as you're sure it's no trouble."

Alex smiled. "None whatsoever."

. . .

Both Alex and Elaine were silent when they first got into the car. Elaine's heart pounded. The distractions were gone and she was painfully aware this was the first time she'd been alone with Alex since their first parting. Biting her lip, she inwardly cursed the letter. It would be a long while before she picked up someone else's litter again. What happened to the Alex that she could get lost in conversation without a thought to it? When did he become someone so intimidating? Rather, _why_?

"So…" Alex said awkwardly after they'd been on the road for a few minutes. "You missing Chicago?"

"You want the honest answer?"

He nodded. "I understand."

"Don't get me wrong," she explained, finally turning to look at him. "I don't hate it. I've made a couple of good friends there and I have to admit I've liked not having to drive and being the only one worrying about the bills. Still, it's not home. Being back with everyone this week made me realize how much is lost in distance. Now that Amanda is here, I know I'm going to be missing so, so much."

"You think you could ever come and visit for a couple of days?" Alex asked. "Whenever you get time off from the gallery?"

"I could. I'd have to discuss it with Arnie before promising anything, though."

Tensing up, he asked, "How is Arnie, by the way?"

"He's well," she answered, his demeanor not going unnoticed. "He loves his new job. He's been patient with me, too. I'm afraid I've been moping around a lot. I never realized how prone to homesickness I am."

"He hasn't been at all?"

She shook her head. "Not as far as I'm aware. He's excellent at hiding it if so."

"How are the kids with everything?"

"Jason settled in just fine. Jennifer, not so much."

"Oh?"

"She's not in a great class at school between these girls that have been picking on her and the teacher's obliviousness. She's friends with my friend Gwen's daughter and, lately, she's mentioned sitting with this one girl at lunch. I'll say she's doing better than she was a couple of months ago."

"Poor thing," he said sympathetically.

"She tried to hide it from me," she carried on, mostly for the sake of staying off the topic of Arnie. "I couldn't figure out what was going on. I nearly called you one night to talk about it."

"Why didn't you?"

"It was after midnight. I didn't know if you were working or sleeping. I would have felt bad about it anyway. I know I didn't keep my promise to call. I'm sorry about that."

Glancing in her direction, he said, "Don't worry about it. I didn't, either."

"I didn't want to call you out of the blue with a problem when I should have been calling regularly to see how things were with you. How have you been?"

"Fine," was all he said.

"Just fine?"

Brushing it off, Alex said, "Come on, you know me. Every day looks the same."

"Still, something interesting or exciting had to have happened since I last saw you."

"Well, Amanda was born."

Elaine rolled her eyes. "That doesn't count."

"What do you want me to say, Elaine? Other than your being gone my life hasn't changed."

"All right then," she conceded, slumping back against the seat.

"I don't know what you're getting upset over."

"I'm not upset... Not at you. I'm mad at myself. I _should_ have called or at least wrote. I've had the time. Don't think I never thought of it. I've reached for the phone a lot. But every time I froze. I got tired of feeling sad about leaving. After that one time I called everyone, I was miserable the rest of the week. I know it's childish. I don't know why the move has hit me so hard. Moving out of my parents' house to the city was probably an even bigger change and I handled it."

Alex shrugged. "The stakes are different this time."

"How do you mean?"

"It's easy to make a change when you're young. Now you've got kids of your own to worry about and you took a giant step in a relationship. No offense, Elaine, but for as long as I've known you, you were never one to accept change easily."

She couldn't deny this.

"It's not necessarily a bad thing. You liked to take care of all of us here. We've done some pretty stupid things even under your watchful eye. I'm sure you've been worried sick wondering what we've gotten up to with our newfound freedom."

Elaine laughed, joined by Alex's chuckle. When the amusement subsided, she turned serious. "Gosh, I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too."

"… I want to promise I'll be better about calling. I just don't want to make another promise I'll end up breaking."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. Long-distance friendships just aren't the same. We made the same promises with John and Bobby. Where are they now?"

Sadly, she had to agree. "I don't want that to happen with us… any of you."

"Hopefully it won't."

"I'm not sure. After Bobby's first visit back, we hardly heard from him again."

"Yeah, but don't forget how flighty Bobby could be. That, plus his focus on his career. Anyway, let's not forget Simka's role in this. You think she's gonna let you drop off the face of the earth?"

"No," she chuckled. "You're right."

"So let's just leave it at that for now and both make a better effort at keeping in touch."

"Okay."

"So, you can stop biting your nails now."

"Hmm? Oh—" Realizing what she was doing, Elaine quickly took her hands away from her mouth. "I didn't realize."

"Is something else bothering you?"

"No."

"You sure?"

She was silent for a moment. One way or another he was going to sense her uneasiness, the question was whether or not she could come up with an excuse clever enough to dissuade him.

"What would you do…" she started carefully. "If you found out something you weren't supposed to know… and then you couldn't figure out your response to what you've discovered?"

"What do you mean?"

"Say you overheard someone say something that that person would have rather have kept from you. First, what would you do if you couldn't formulate your response even if it had been said to your face? Second, would you tell the person that you overheard?"

"I have no idea," he said with confusion. "What did you overhear? I guess it really depends."

"Oh, it's nothing. Rhetorical."

"Oddly enough I've never been asked a rhetorical question that wasn't a real-life scenario."

"Never mind," she said, unable to hide her annoyance. "Forget I said anything. It would take too long to explain."

"Fine," Alex said, "We're just about at Vince's anyway."


	28. A Big Favor

Jason and Jennifer greeted Alex nearly toppling him over by the force of impact. They'd been over to see Latka, Simka, and the baby, but Alex hadn't been around at the time. Even Vince was amused. Elaine was just glad to get away from the conversation they left in the car.

The kids chatted all the way to the airport, telling their mother all the fun things they'd done and telling Alex about things in Chicago. Though Alex was active in the conversation, Elaine's mind strayed. Despite her gladness of getting through the week without too tense a conversation with Alex, she felt a gnawing in her stomach at the thought of leaving again. All she could see was the sadness in Simka's eyes when she'd told her Chicago wasn't so bad after all. That along with the confusion of why she would then rush her out of the door an hour before.

Alex offered to wait with them until they boarded. To Elaine's surprise, she eagerly agreed. At least there was little threat of dangerous topics with the kids around. She'd meant it when she said she'd missed him, bafflement about her feelings aside. She was happy to have his company. Quickly things returned to normal as they sat and talked, Jason and Jennifer busy eating and watching the planes through the window. Alex seemed more relaxed, too. For a little while, it was like she had never left (and like she wasn't leaving once again).

The announcement of their flight over the loudspeaker broke her disillusions. With a sigh, she excused herself from Alex's side and went a few seats down to fetch the children.

"Time to go," she told them sadly.

"Already?" both whined.

"I'm afraid so."

"But the airport is so much more fun than the airplane," Jason said.

In agreement, Jennifer added, "Yeah, why can't we go on the train again? At least we could move around."

A hint of irritation came into her voice. "I know it's no fun to sit still but we don't have a choice. Flying is much faster."

Jennifer crossed her arms. "So? I'd rather stay here, anyway."

"I know, believe me. Part of me would like to as well but—"

Jason cut her off. "Then why can't we? It's Friday. Why can't we stay a couple more days? Dad said he wished he could take us to the game tomorrow. He won't mind!"

Alex, who had been inching over to where they all were standing, jumped in. "Hey, New York will always be here. You'll visit again. I'm sure Arnie misses you all. Don't you want to go home and see him?"

"I guess…" Jason replied.

Jennifer threw her arms around Alex's waist. "Can you come visit us, Alex?"

He chuckled. "Sure. Sometime."

"How about now? _Please?_ "

"Jennifer," Elaine said, trying to pull her back. "We're about to board. This isn't the time."

Coming to his sister's aid, Jason joined in. "You could get a ticket quickly, couldn't you Alex? Just for the weekend?"

"As much as I'd love to," Alex answered, "I don't have any luggage."

"You can buy whatever you need," Jennifer said.

"Enough you two," Elaine scolded. "I know it's not easy leaving your father and friends here but we've got to get on the plane. End of decision."

Both kids protested with a tantrum.

"Knock it off right now!" Elaine tried not to shout too loudly. "You realize everyone's looking at you? You're both too old to be acting like this."

"We want to stay!"

"Listen to your mother," Alex said sternly. "I should leave, Elaine…"

"No!" the kids cried, each taking hold of one of his arms.

" _Flight 107 to Chicago now boarding."_

Elaine pulled on each of the kids. "We need to go right now."

"Not without Alex!"

Nearly in tears herself, Elaine looked up at Alex apologetically. "I'm so sorry about this. I have no idea what's gotten into them. They're usually wound up when they've been away for some time but never like this."

"Guys…" he said after a moment. "Give me a minute with your mother, all right?"

Hopefully, they released their grips.

Alex pulled Elaine aside, speaking in a low voice. "I know the last thing you should do is condone their outbursts, but given the time-sensitivity, why don't I go see if I can get a ticket."

"Alex, no. I appreciate it but if I give in—"

"It's a lot easier for me to take a joyride to Chicago than it is to explain to Arnie, your boss, and you teachers why you're still in New York."

Shakily, she said, "I don't know… I can't ask you to do a thing like this."

"You're not asking, I'm offering," Alex insisted. "If there's still a seat, I can fly with you now and then fly back tonight or tomorrow. It's no trouble."

"I hardly believe that, but I don't know what else to do."

Squeezing her hand, Alex said, "I'll go get the ticket. Try and board. If you don't see me I wasn't able." Kissing her cheek, he finished, "If that's the case, I hope to see you again soon."

"Thank you, Alex… Really."

At the sight of Alex walking away, Jason and Jennifer started to chase after. Holding out her arm, Elaine managed to catch them.

"What is the matter with you both? I've never seen you behave this way."

They started to reply, but she spoke over them.

"He's going to try and get a ticket. Meanwhile, we are going to board and I don't want to hear a peep out of you if he can't get a ticket. You are in so much trouble I don't even know where to begin. Don't think that you're getting your way because you acted like this. He's doing this as a favor to me and Arnie. Do you really think you can hold up an entire airline? It's going to be a _long_ time before you travel again. If you want to see your father you're going to have to tell him why he's going to have to fly out because there is no way I'm taking you on a plane again. You'll be hard-pressed if I take you anywhere other than school for the next month."

Maintaining her hold on them, they marched to the boarding line, Elaine keeping her head low, utterly humiliated. Jason and Jennifer conceded tearfully. At least they would get to, maybe, see Alex for a while longer.


	29. Back in Chicago

Seeing Alex walking down the aisle of the plane both eased and increased her tension. Grateful to appease the kids for the next few hours, she showered him with thanks as he passed on his way to his seat in the back. On the opposite, she fretted on what she'd say to Arnie. Though most of the worry was laced with the unlikely fear that he'd found his letter while she was away, she wondered how to explain to him how desperately the kids didn't want to come home. That would upset him more than anything. Likewise, she worried she would reveal her own desire to stay behind as well.

When had her relationship become about a city? Lately, it felt as though she was more in love with a location than with him. Could that have been what her distress over Alex was about? Alex very much represented New York. The more time she spent on this though, the more it made sense. It was a good thing he was sitting away from her. Surely, he would have dragged this out of her.

After an emotionally long and physically turbulent flight, all of them were glad to be on the ground again. Alex, too, had spent a greater portion of his time in the air stewing over this hasty decision. As much as he'd counted on an immediate flight back to New York, it was to be expected the kids wouldn't rest until they showed him their new home. The last thing he wanted to see was Elaine and the kids together with Arnie as a family. Especially after the greeting they'd given him earlier. The week had been filled with his own reminders of what had been lost. As for Jason and Jennifer, they just worried what gloom they would face in the next month.

"Mommy, I'm tired," Jennifer said along with a yawn. They'd left baggage claim forty-five minutes ago and still no sign of Arnie.

"And hungry," Jason added. "Why can't we have dinner now? Arnie's obviously not coming."

"He's probably stuck in traffic," Elaine said more for her sake than the kids'. Then looking at her watch, she said, "I think I will try to call him, though… just in case."

She'd only been gone a minute or two when she rejoined Alex and the kids. "He must be on his way. No answer at the apartment."

After another ten, slightly worrisome minutes, Elaine saw Gwen and Faye a few yards off. To this, Elaine gratefully called out to her. "Gwen!"

"Elaine!" she called back after turning. "There you are!"

"What are you doing here?" Elaine questioned, hugging her as she spoke.

"Arnie called me. He'd forgotten you were coming home today and not tomorrow. He's at a game or something. He asked if I could come and pick you up."

"Oh…" she said, her hurt evident. "Well, I'm sorry you had to come out here on short notice. I appreciate it."

"Anytime," Gwen smiled. Tilting her head to look behind Elaine, her eyes glowed. "I see you picked up a hitchhiker."

Before turning to gesture Alex forward, Elaine gave Gwen a stern and heading look. "Alex… I'd like you to meet my friend Gwen and her daughter, Faye. Gwen, Faye, this is Alex."

"Hello," Faye waved.

"Ahh, Alex…" Gwen crooned. "I've heard so much about you."

"Likewise," he said, shaking her hand.

After an uncomfortable lull, Elaine cleared her throat. "Alex, did you want to check the flights back to New York?"

"Oh, right," he said, happy to break away. "I'll be right back."

Once he was out of earshot, Gwen said in what, for her, could be considered a whisper, "What is he doing here? Did you tell him?"

After shushing her, Elaine replied, "No, and don't you dare say a word."

"I won't, I won't. That still doesn't answer my first question."

"Jason and Jennifer flat out refused to get on the plane without him. They wanted to stay a couple more days and I guess he was the next best thing. I've never seen them act this way. And I've never been so embarrassed. Both were crying and yelling and clinging to him. They've always adored Alex but I guess I never realized to what extent." She shook her head. "I think seeing their father after so long and being back home renewed their homesickness. Jennifer, especially. She's the one that initiated it. Alex offered to come. Against my better judgment I agreed – and don't smirk. I mean that I never should have given in to such a display. After that ordeal, the last thing on my to-do list is to bring up any more emotions."

"Fair," Gwen said with a light shrug. "That was awfully nice of him."

"You can understand why I was such a wreck when I told you about that letter." Elaine scoffed. "Then there's Arnie who forgot what day I was coming home."

Before Gwen could reply, Alex returned from the counter.

"I can either run across the airport now or leave tomorrow morning. If it's all the same to you, I opted for the morning." He held up his ticket.

"I expected as much," Elaine chuckled.

"Is there a cheap hotel nearby?"

"Nonsense," she said after calling the kids back over. "The couch folds out. Arnie won't mind you crashing with us for the night."

"Great," he said, the dread in his voice barely stifled.

To her left, Elaine heard a snicker from Gwen, prompting Elaine's elbow instantly into her side.

Gwen's curiosity about New York took up most of the car ride. She asked about Amanda and asked what the kids did. Alex chatted easily with her, which wouldn't normally have surprised Elaine if not for everything that'd happened prior. Gwen quickly discovered he was a fountain of her idealized New York stories. Whatever it took to keep Gwen's mind off of the forbidden romance novel she'd concocted in her mind, Elaine was happy to listen.

When they got to the apartment, Gwen dropped them off with the insistence Elaine call her tomorrow. Keeping with the day's theme, Jennifer and Jason argued over who got to show Alex their room first. Alex settled the debate with a flip of a coin – or so he tried until they both called 'tails'. In the end, Jennifer won. Meanwhile, Elaine happily busied herself making dinner.

Thankfully, the kids were so tired after they ate that there were no further struggles. They unpacked their bags and got ready for bed, the only special request coming from Jennifer to have Alex tuck her in. Elaine had said her goodnights beforehand and went to unpack herself. Alex waited a while in the living room for her, suddenly and vividly aware of his surroundings and unsure of what to do with himself. His head turned the door at every noise, worried it was Arnie. He didn't know why he was so worried about what his reaction might be, as though it was a bad thing for him to be there. He brushed it off as best he could, but couldn't quite shake the way he'd left things with Elaine the last time they were alone.

More time passed, though he wasn't sure how much. Looking back at Elaine's door, he noticed it was partway open. He wondered if she'd fallen asleep. It wouldn't have surprised him if so. Still, something told him to check on her.

Pushing the door open, Alex revealed an empty room. Cautiously, he walked further inside. He breathed a sigh of relief when he noticed her standing out on the balcony.

"Hey," he said, sliding the door open wider. "What are you doing out here?"

Before Elaine turned to face him, she wiped a tear away. "Sorry… didn't realize I'd been gone so long."

"Have you been crying?"

"No," she lied.

"Mhmm."

Elaine grumbled. "It's been a long day, okay?"

"You sure that's it? Did something happen?" He couldn't ignore how red her eyes were.

Elaine looked down. Alex waited without another word, stepping aside and looking out at the view and giving her space. He knew she'd talk eventually.

"I've been neglecting the kids," she said at last.

"What? How so?"

"I feel like I don't really know them anymore. They don't come to me."

"I'm sure that isn't true," Alex said, turning to look at her again.

"Remember how I was saying earlier that Jennifer was having trouble with some kids at school and how she tried to hide it from me?"

"Yeah?"

"That's not my daughter. She _never_ kept secrets. What's more is Jason never kept them for her, either. Now I find out that he's been hiding his own homesickness, too."

"When? Just now?"

Elaine nodded. "When I went in to say goodnight. He asked why you couldn't stay longer. I answered and tried to get him to explain that scene at the airport. He said how much he'd missed you and that you were one of the people he — and Jennifer — didn't get to spend time with this week. From there he made me realize that I never let the kids say goodbye to any of you guys. You and Tony were more involved in their lives than Vince in some respects. Especially you." She pressed the back of her hands to her eyes. "I've been selfish from the moment Arnie told me about the job. How could I not have realized? How could I not have pushed or figured things out when all of a sudden Jennifer was going through a book a night and hiding away in her room? Moving here was the biggest mistake."

"Come on, Elaine," he said, taking hold of her shoulders. "It's never easy moving to a new place. Why would you have thought that there was something more going on with Jennifer besides homesickness?"

"I would have figured it out back in New York, even if she didn't tell me. I would have known. She didn't tell me because she knew I missed New York. If I've troubled the kids so much with my moods I can't imagine what I've been doing to Arnie. And that's another thing. A few months ago he would never have forgotten us at the airport. He would have left his friends to come and get us. He would have called me every night – more. How can I blame him for wanting a break from me? I've tried putting problems aside for his sake, but I think that's only made them worse. I feel like I'm always worrying about his reaction to anything. I don't even know how to honestly explain why you're here. How can I tell him that the kids so desperately want to be home in New York that they clung on to what little bit of it they had left at that moment? And how can I pretend I don't feel the same way?" She collapsed into his arms.

"Elaine…" Alex hushed. "Elaine, it's all right."

"Is it?"

"Being home stirred some stuff up, that's all. From all that you've said this week, it sounds like life is pretty good here. Give it a few days and get back to your routine and you'll feel better."

"I'm not so sure."

"Trust me. And trust Arnie, too. Give him some more credit."

Pressing her head against his chest, she forced her tears back. She couldn't take it anymore.

"Alex… I need to tell you something."

Concerned, he stepped away to look at her. "What is it?"

"I… I really don't know how to say it." She paused, then said before turning, "Wait a second."

Alex nodded, watching her through the window as she dug through her the top drawer of the dresser. He watched her clutch whatever it was she pulled out in her hands after looking at it for some time before turning back toward him. She didn't get far from there.

"Oh, Elaine. There you are!"

Elaine turned with a jump, hiding the letter behind her back. "Arnie! You're back…"

Hurrying over to her, Arnie kissed her. "You are, too! I am so sorry about the airport. I don't know how I forgot. It's been so lonely and quiet here all week. Forgive me?"

"O-Of course I do."

Hearing the balcony door close, Arnie looked at Alex and then back at Elaine. "Didn't Gwen pick you up? Couldn't settle for a Chicago cabbie so had Alex flown in?"

Forcing a laugh as the men exchanged hellos, Elaine then said, "It's a long story… I think it's better explained in the morning. Thank Jennifer and Jason. I'll leave it at that for tonight."

Arnie chuckled. "Promises to be an amusing story. Well, I would love to visit but I think I had one too many beers at the game. Gotta shower and hit the sack."

Elaine nodded, beyond grateful. "I'll be right back. I just need to pull out the sofa bed."

"Good to see you, Arnie," Alex said awkwardly.

"You, too!"

In the living room, Alex kept quiet until he heard the water running. Still, he spoke softly. "What did you want to tell me?"

Elaine, who had since stuffed the letter in her shirt when neither of the men was looking, avoided any eye contact. "Never mind."

"It's obviously upsetting you. There won't be time to talk in the morning. I should be at the airport by eight."

"I can't talk about it with Arnie here."

"Oh… it's something to do with him?" he questioned.

Her voice shook. "In a way, I suppose. Please. Forget everything I said before. It doesn't matter now."

Alex nodded, saying nothing more until their goodnights.


	30. Late Night Phone Call

"Why the hell did you leave me alone with him?"

Gwen yawned on the other end of the call. "A jolly good evening to you, too."

"I'm serious," Elaine said without an ounce of amusement. "This is a nightmare."

"I should have expected this," Gwen said along with a rustle of blankets as she sat up. "What happened?"

"I crumbled and told him things that have been going on with the kids and everything and things… I don't know. They started clicking. So went and got the letter to show him. He never saw it though because Arnie came home. Now I'm thinking that it was a sign not to say anything… but I can't stop thinking about it."

"Where are you? The background noise is terrible."

"At a payphone near my building."

"At this hour? Are you crazy?"

"I'm fine," Elaine carped. "Just tell me what to do."

"I can't."

"You've met Alex now. You have more to work with than before."

"I talked his ear off for forty-five minutes. That hardly qualifies as knowing a person."

"Fine, give me your _opinion_."

"You're not going to let me go back to sleep until I do, are you?" Gwen mused.

"No."

Giving in, she said, "I think I mentioned this when you first told me, but I don't think it would be bothering you this much if there weren't for something lingering with Alex. Even before this you always lit up when you talked about him. Take that with a grain of salt. I really don't know what your relationship is like. I can only really comment on what I've seen of you and Arnie."

"…and?"

"It's clear he loves you, Elaine. And so do you. From the outside, it's like you've been married for years and that initial excitement is gone, you know? Which wouldn't be a question mark if it had been so long."

"I've thought the same thing… it's been this way from the start."

"And that isn't a bad thing. I'd kill to find a relationship like that. A whirlwind romance did nothing for me in the long run. If not for giving me Faye, it would have been an unnecessary chapter of my life. But that doesn't mean it's the kind of relationship for you."

"I know what you mean," Elaine said. "Whirlwind is what I had with my ex-husband. Whirlwind then right to stale. I don't know if that's a fitting description for Alex, though. It's… different. If it weren't for the letter I would have been able to pick up where I left off with him. I've always been able to relax around him. Yet, when the more romantic moments came, there was intensity. He's a friend, but there's always been a bit more. That's the only way I can think to put it right now."

"If Arnie wasn't in the picture and you were still in New York, what would you have done?" Gwen questioned.

"How can I answer when the letter was only written because of my moving away with Arnie? I had chances with Alex and never took them or never pushed for them. That has to count for something now."

"Are you happy with Arnie?"

There was a long pause before Gwen had to ask if they'd been disconnected. When Elaine did speak again, it came softly. "No… not as happy as I should be. But how can I say it has to do with Arnie when it's wanting to go home that is clouding my every thought? How do I know I haven't convinced myself I'm in love with Alex for him and not as an excuse to leave Chicago?"

"Speaking as someone who personally doesn't want you to leave Chicago, I think the only way you're going to get your answer is by talking this out with Alex and then Arnie. You can't leave him out of it. It's not fair. From my own experience, there is a distinct difference between missing a place and missing people. If this were about New York, you would have been over it by now."

"… I don't know if that's a relief or burdensome."

After a chuckle, Gwen said, "Go talk to Alex while he's still here."

Letting out a long breath, Elaine agreed. "I have to, don't I?"

"At least you will have said it. Figure it out from there."

"Thanks, Gwen. I'm sorry to call so late."

"Don't worry about it," she said. "Just let me know what happens tomorrow?"

"Of course."


	31. Telling Alex

Alex paced the living room waiting for Elaine to get back. Something was off with her, that had been obvious since that afternoon in the cab, but to run out in the middle of the night in her pajamas? He contemplated waking Arnie as it was nearing half an hour since she'd gone. If not for the risk of waking the kids, he probably would have done it sooner. It wasn't until she finally appeared through the door that he realized how tight his breathing had become.

"You said you were checking the mail," he said, forgetting to keep his voice low for a moment. "Aren't the boxes on the first floor? I was about to go looking for you."

"I'm sorry. I guess that was a flimsy excuse."

Handing her one of the throw blankets she'd laid out for him, he said, "You're shivering. Where were you?"

"I had to make a call," she answered as she wrapped the blanket around her shoulders.

"And the phone here is broken?"

"Look, I'm sorry I worried you," she said with more annoyance than she meant. "I needed to get out of here for a bit and the payphone is only a couple of buildings away. I'm glad you're still up… I need to talk to you."

"What's going on, Elaine? You've been acting strangely all day. Especially after dinner."

"I know I have," she said. "And I know I said to forget everything I said earlier and everything I was going to say before Arnie came home. I realize now that I can't leave things unsaid anymore."

"What things?" he questioned when she neglected to go on.

Without an immediate response, she tiptoed into the bedroom, coming back a few seconds later with the piece of paper in her hand. "This," she said, handing the letter to him.

Unfolding it, his eyes only had to scan the first lines to realize what it was. "Oh no…"

Elaine could only stare at him.

"How the hell did you get this?" Alex asked, not daring to look up.

"I found it on the floor at the garage the day I left. I'd forgotten some things in my locker. I only meant to pick it up and throw it away. I saw my name and was curious… I didn't read it right away. I forgot about it until a few weeks ago."

Angrily, he re-crumpled the paper, striding over to the wastebasket and throwing it in with a huff.

"You were never meant to read that," he said through his teeth, more as a way to keep his voice low.

"I know, and I've felt guilty about it since."

"Elaine," he said, walking back over to her. "Understand that I wrote that after driving all night and after your party. It was a stupid thing to do regardless. Please, just forget about it."

She shook her head. "I can't. Believe me, I've tried."

"You went all week knowing all the things I said?"

"With Latka, Simka, and the baby my mind wasn't on it," she explained.

"Oh gosh," he said in realization. "Simka."

"What about her?"

"Is that what that was earlier with her volunteering me to take you to the airport? I thought it was off the way she said it but didn't think much of it because it was Simka."

"I don't know what that was about either," Elaine said. "I didn't tell her or anyone back home. I swear the only person I told was Gwen. I needed an objective opinion."

He grumbled, running his hand down the length of his face. "That explains her fascination with my stories."

"Actually, that was genuine. If anything, she would have told you herself if she'd had the chance. I haven't been sure if I should mention it to you at all."

"And now is the right time?"

"Will you stop getting so defensive and hear me out?"

Alex scoffed. "Easy to say when you're not the one being humiliated."

"Alex," she groused. "There wasn't anything in that letter I didn't assume to be true at one time or another – aside from anything more recent. I was surprised to know you feel that way now… or did feel in that moment."

"I'm begging you just to forget it. There was strain enough between us losing communication. I don't want to add this to the mix."

"But, Alex—"

"I mean it," he said. "There's no point in having a discussion about it. I'm leaving in the morning and we can go back to being oblivious to each other. I just hope you're still willing to talk on the phone now and then."

"Alex," she said louder this time, "I feel the same way."

This prompted a startled look in his eyes. "… What?"

Elaine sighed. "At least, I think I do. That's why I struggled so much with whether or not I should tell you. I don't want to say it if I don't mean it. But given how much I've thought of you since reading it and being home again and you coming here for the kids… I went out to call Gwen. I'm more confused now than ever. I don't know how much wanting to go back to New York is influencing things. Of course I love you, too. More than a friend should love a friend. We've both known that on some level. If we were back in New York and I wasn't living with Arnie I don't think there would be a question about it. If you came to me saying let's give it a try, I'd agree in a second." Hearing the words she'd stressed over the last few weeks come out so easily stirred a panic. "But now there's so much to consider. And I'm not implying that now that it's out in the open things are magically going to fall into place. I know there's a reason why we've avoided a romantic relationship to begin with. But the fact I'm with Arnie and can even consider it scares me. It's not fair to him. I owe him so much gratitude for taking care of me and the kids here and I haven't been showing it. Even this part of it aside, I realized today how unhappy the kids have been, too. It's not all bad. Jason had made some good friends and I know Jennifer and Faye have been having fun together. I'm grateful to have met Gwen, I've fallen in love with the Eldridge, and it's been nice having a semblance of a normal life. Gosh, I'm being selfish and ungrateful. Still, I can't ignore how much I've missed everyone in New York. You in particular. I've hated not having you in my life. That's why I haven't been able to bring myself to call you even before finding the letter. When I was deciding whether I should move or not, when I thought of you that's when I couldn't imagine it. As hard as it was leaving Simka with a baby on the way, you've been my touchstone the past few years. It terrified me knowing you wouldn't be around. And, I know, I've probably relied too much on you. I'm sorry if I've ever been a burden. I always thought of myself as someone who, mostly, had it together. As long as I've been here, I've been forced to acknowledge how untrue it is. Oh, gosh…"

The cap on her emotions had held tight through most of the conversation. Now she felt herself slipping but forced herself to keep strong.

Alex's expression remained unchanging, trying to take in everything that was being said. No response he could think of seemed to suffice.

Clearing her throat once she recovered herself, Elaine said, "I know this is a lot. I didn't want to say all this in a phone call. I see now that I should have spoken to you as soon as I could when I got to New York. I think I've been kidding myself. Gwen has told me from the start that I wouldn't be so upset if I didn't feel a certain way about you." She shook her head. "I don't know what to do. I'm not asking for you to give me the answer, either. I just… needed you to know. There's so much more I could say but I think it's best I don't. Please don't think I'm pressuring you into anything, either. I understand the frame of mind you were in when you wrote it. I'm not expecting you to clarify what you meant or to tell me you feel now as you did then. I… I don't know what I'm expecting having told you. I don't want this to ruin things any more, either."

Surprising both of them, Alex reached out for her, capturing her lips for a fleeting moment before either had the chance to realize their position. Elaine looked at him, happy he was finally meeting her eye though couldn't manage a smile. He held on tightly to their hands, still absent for words. What could he say so long as Arnie was in the next room?

This didn't stop Elaine from kissing him again, this time longer and keeping close to him. He didn't fight it, securing his arms around her waist. All the while they both thought how dangerous this was. Not only the threat of Arnie or one of the kids coming in, but for them as well, especially where nothing seemed clear. Regardless, both felt elated for a moment, overjoyed being near to the other again.

Ultimately, it was Alex who broke away first, his fear greater than Elaine's outside of familiar territory. Finally, he spoke.

"Elaine… we can't be doing this. Not to ourselves and not to Arnie. I'd like nothing more than to say come back with me to New York, but you do have to think about the commitment you've made. Obviously, you love Arnie enough to have moved with him in the first place. You can't forget about that."

"I haven't," she sniffed. "And that's why this whole thing has been eating at me. There's so much on both sides. I can't forget that you and I have worked hard to maintain our friendship and not cross a certain line, but I also can't pretend my relationship with Arnie isn't riddled with doubts. From the start, I questioned our chemistry. He's a dear man, but I'm living as though I've been his wife for the last five years rather than at the beginning. It was that way before New York and only got reinforced with the move. And that would be one thing if he didn't get a look of panic every time I broach the subject of marriage. It seems pointless at this point not to even discuss it. I don't get the sense he's got a surprise proposal prepared, either. I know by now when he's genuinely nervous."

"If this was all an issue before anything with me interfered, are you sure you're not clinging onto this as an excuse to leave him?"

This was one angle she hadn't considered. Her lack of reply brought a solemn look to Alex's face.

"Elaine," he said quietly after a few more seconds. "I think we need to put the topic at rest for tonight."

Tearfully, she replied to his question, "I don't have the answer right now. _I don't know_. There's too much to put into consideration."

"I know," he said with what might be able to pass as a small and sympathetic smile. "That's why I'm telling you to go back to bed. Nothing good is going to come of continuing this conversation right now."

"When else will we be able to talk things through? Regardless of what happens, we can't leave things unsettled between us."

He sighed. "It will have to be a phone call."

"Will we actually make that call?"

"… I hope so."

Neither could get themselves to say anything more than that.


	32. Parentheses

Elaine woke the next morning to the sun beaming through the balcony window. Her immediate reaction was to bury her head further into the pillows, then she thought to look at the time.

"After nine?" she exclaimed aloud as she shot out of bed. _Alex,_ was all she could think after that. His flight was around eight. So much of her had hoped he'd missed it, but she was brought back to reality when she left the bedroom and Jennifer handed her a note.

"Alex left you this. You didn't say goodbye to him this morning," she said, disappointment evident.

"What time did he leave?"

"Around six-thirty. I was the only one up."

"I didn't expect him to leave so early," Elaine said, finally taking the piece of paper. "Why didn't you come and wake me?"

Jennifer shrugged, "He told me not to. You probably wouldn't have woken up anyway. None of us could wake you up for breakfast."

"Did he say anything?"

"Only that I should behave and that he was glad to see me and Jason again."

Looking around the apartment, she questioned, "Where are Arnie and Jason?"

"At the park," Jennifer answered guiltily. "Jason asked him to drive."

Elaine grumbled. "Both of you are under punishment. I'm not liking these games."

"That's why I didn't go. Well… mostly I was worried about you. Are you all right?"

Dropping the angry tone, Elaine took a breath. "I appreciate it, sweetie. Just tired from traveling."

"That's what Arnie said."

"Do you know when they'll be back?"

Jennifer shook her head.

"Just as good, I guess," Elaine mumbled.

"Are you sure you're okay, Mommy?"

"I'm fine," she fibbed. Jennifer went back to her book, leaving Elaine standing in the middle of the room. Glancing at the note, she said, "Hey…"

Jennifer looked up.

"You up for going over to see Faye?"

"Really?! But you said—"

"I know," she said before she could go on. "I'm proud of you for staying here whether it was more for the sake of avoiding any more trouble or out of concern for me. I'd like to see Gwen myself."

"Okay!"

"Give me a few minutes. I'll call her and see if she's around. Go get ready just in case."

Jennifer happily agreed, scurrying off into her room. Elaine, too, went back to her room. Before going over to the phone, she opened Alex's note, almost looking through it for the first few seconds, fearing what might be written.

_Elaine,_

_Feels funny writing to you now… I'm sorry to leave without saying goodbye. After last night I think it's better for me not to be around. I'm also sorry to have caused so much trouble. I would take it back if I could. (Though, I'm not sure I want to.) Please call. I just want to make sure things are okay between us._

_Alex._

An odd calmness came over her. The absence of fretting was almost cause for alarm itself. Frankly, she couldn't recall all that she'd said to Alex. What was clear was how much her heart ached to follow after him. She thought back to their kiss, remember how content she felt. Going back a bit farther, she thought of how at home she felt as they spoke waiting at the airport. Then she looked around her and Arnie's bedroom, the now-familiar sense of uneasiness as she realized how much she'd separated her things from Arnie's. They were living as a couple only superficially. She couldn't find anything they shared aside from their bed. Not one moment could she think of where she'd felt things made sense with him. Logically, perhaps, but never the same kind of feeling in her gut.

She kept this in mind while she dialed Gwen's number. Though she called on the grounds of needing more advice, by the time she hung up the phone, she was fairly certain she'd come to a decision.


	33. She's The One

Alex couldn't wait to take a shower and change into fresh clothes. No matter how good the cause, he decided, this was the last time he'd ever take a spontaneous trip halfway across the country. He still couldn't believe all that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. Never had he known Jennifer and Jason to be so unruly. It made him wonder if they knew about the letter, too, though he couldn't imagine why Elaine would tell them let alone why it would make such a difference to them.

He hadn't made it through the living room when the phone rang. He groaned until remembering he'd told Elaine to call him. Hopefully, he rushed over to answer, disappointed when it wasn't Elaine's voice on the other end.

"Alex!" Simka cried. "Alex, I don't know what to do. Amanda won't stop crying. Latka went back to work today and it's my first time taking care of her all alone. You've got to help!"

"Shh, Simka, it's okay. I'm sure everything is fine."

"It's been half an hour! Please, Alex, help me."

"All right," he gave in. "I'll be right over…"

True to his word, he threw his jacket back on and was knocking at Simka's door within twenty minutes. Part of him was happy to have a distraction as much as he wanted a nap.

"Hi, Alex…" Simka opened the door guiltily. "She… She's calm now. I got her to go to sleep."

Alex chuckled. "I told you it was going to be okay."

"I'm sorry. I'm just a bit nervous."

"Perfectly all right."

"You can come in if you want. I'll make you a cup of coffee. You look tired."

"Ah, thanks, Simka, but I'll take a raincheck."

Observing him closer, Simka grimaced. "Are you wearing the same thing you wore yesterday?"

"Yeah," he answered. "It's a long story."

"It's too bad you don't want any coffee," she shrugged. "Then you could tell it to me."

He lingered in the doorway a moment, then said, "Actually… Simka? If you have the time I would like to ask you something."

Taking hold of his hand, Simka replied as she took him over to the table, "Goody!"

Alex was quiet while she fussed with the coffee pot, almost hoping she'd forgotten his plea to talk despite the nagging sensation he'd felt all day. Of course, Simka never missed an opportunity for gossip of any sort and nearly threw the coffee at him as she took her seat across from him.

"What is it you want to ask me?"

He mumbled. "Has, uh, Elaine ever said anything about the two of us? Her and me, I mean."

"I asked her once," Simka admitted. "But no, not really."

"What did she say?"

"That she wouldn't tell me."

"Oh."

"Why?" she questioned, eyes as wide as could be.

After a sip of coffee, he said, "Never mind."

"Oh, please, Alex. Tell me! Did something happen?"

He shook his head. "If Elaine hasn't said anything then it isn't my place."

"Something _did_ happen!"

"It's not what you might be thinking. Why do you sound so excited about it? You know she's with Arnie."

"Right…" she corrected. "She's with Arnie."

Raising an eyebrow, Alex questioned, "Do you know something I don't?"

"Not that I know of."

"Are you sure she didn't talk to you?"

"I haven't seen her since she left yesterday." Clenching her fists in suspense, she begged, "You've said this much. I know something is going on so you might as well tell me. What happened between you and Elaine?"

With a sigh Alex gave in, only relaying the bare minimum of the story, admitting his feelings for Elaine, not sure what he was hoping Simka would say in return. She listened in bewilderment and using every ounce of self-control she could find in herself to refrain from speaking until he was through. As soon as he came to a stop, she said, "Alex, she's the one."

"She's what?"

" _She's the one_ ," Simka repeated. "Don't you remember my gift? The one where I can find everyone's perfect match?"

Alex scoffed. "Yeah. The one that set Arnie and Elaine up."

"So, I'm not always right on the first try," she quipped. "No gift is perfect."

Standing, coffee half-finished, he said, "Gift or no gift, it doesn't matter now. I should get back home in case she calls, but I'm not counting on it."

"Ooh, you can't have a talk like this on the phone." She followed him to the door. "This is something you need to say to each other face to face."

He turned back to her. "Say what? That after all this time we should finally stop kidding ourselves now that she's settled down in another city with another man?"

"You said yourself she wasn't certain what she was going to do about Arnie."

"No, but I'm not going to encourage her to leave him."

"You _have_ to, Alex. You're meant to be together. I said so to Latka."

Looking side to side, Alex said, "Latka isn't here."

"Not now. Last week at the hospital. I told Latka that you were her perfect match."

"What made you say that?"

"My stomach. That feeling you get when you know something is right. I don't know what you would call it in English. It's part of the gift. It was stronger than ever. When you were both holding Amanda it all made sense."

"Don't you think the fact your body just went through a major shock might have had something to do with it."

She shook her head. "I've known for a while that Arnie might not be the perfect man for Elaine. Before she moved and especially after. I couldn't figure out who it was she was meant to be with. Then when I saw you together, I knew. You have to trust me."

"Simka," Alex said firmly, "I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but this 'gift' you have is all in your head. Call it a knack, maybe, but not a gift. Elaine's relationship with Arnie is the best I've seen her have. I'm not going to ruin that for her because you think she and I might be a little bit better. I care about her too much to cause any more of a riff than I already have."

"But you love her."

"I do." He paused, surprising himself by the easy admittance. "And that's why I'm not going to ruin a good thing."

"Did she seem happy when you were in Chicago?"

"Well…" he stuttered. "Not particularly… but I wasn't there long enough. And it was strange between the kids and Arnie and everything she told me. That doesn't mean she's unhappy."

"Poor Alex," Simka said pathetically. "Poor, poor Alex."

"Would you knock that off?"

"You are too scared to take a chance. You should have gone with Elaine years ago if it's true it's been so long."

"This isn't fear," he argued. "This is knowing when to step aside. Yeah, maybe I do regret not taking my chance with Elaine when I could have. It's a decision I'm going to have to live with."

"You don't know that! You said yourself she feels the same way!"

Trying to cool his frustration before speaking again, he took a few breaths. "I know you and Elaine are close, but I have known her longer. I know how she acts when she's under pressure or when there's some sort of big change going on in her life. She needs to cool down. Once she does, she'll realize she's happy with Arnie."

Crossing her arms, Simka questioned, "And what about you? You're okay not telling her how you feel?"

"I did."

"I mean face to face. Not in a letter you never meant to send."

"I spoke to her face to face last night."

"Did you tell her you love her?"

"I don't know. Probably not in as many words but there was no need for it. That damn letter was the topic. Elaine's always known how I feel."

"Then why are you saying she was surprised to find out?"

Stumped for a response, Simka used his silence to go on.

"Alex, you need to go back to Chicago. Give her a day or two. Okay, that's fine. But you _have_ to go back. You have to tell her everything you haven't."

"It's out of the question. I'm sorry to disappoint you."

"But you are meant to be together! Ask any of our friends and they will agree with me."

"What might have worked in your country doesn't work in America. I blew it. It's a fact I've come to terms with and I wish you would as well." He turned to the door and then back again. "I'm leaving. I don't want to hear another word about this."

"Alex—"

"Simka," he shouted as loud as he could with a baby sleeping in the next room, "I mean it. No more."

Simka huffed along with the door shutting behind him. " _Men_. They are even more stubborn here than in the old country."


	34. Conclusions

Elaine felt strangely uplifted as she and Jennifer walked to Gwen's apartment. It was a struggle to keep from saying anything to Jennifer. So long as her mind was still hazy, she knew bringing the kids into a discussion wasn't an option. She hoped Gwen would ease her mind.

"You seem in better spirits," Gwen said as she brought Elaine a cup of coffee. "How did it go with Alex?"

"I'm not really sure," Elaine admitted. "Not bad, but I wouldn't say good, either."

"Tell me _everything_."

So she did - what she could formulate anyway. The more she spoke, the more she felt she was contemplating the right decision.

"I think I need to break up with Arnie."

"Are you sure?"

"It's really not right for me to be with him when I'm feeling so drawn to Alex. No, I can't confidently say that whatever I'm feeling for Alex right now isn't in part wanting to go home. He asked me and I couldn't answer. But I know that I can't keep burdening Arnie. The fact I don't feel comfortable talking about any part of this is telling enough. I don't know if anything will ever happen with Alex. We've avoided it for so long. I just know that I felt like myself again when I was with him. I don't have to pretend around him. Aside from you, I don't have that here. I do feel guilty that I've put so much of this on you."

"Heck, are you kidding? This is the most fun I've had all year!" Gwen laughed. "That sounds a bit sad, doesn't it? I dunno. I'm always locked away painting or hanging out with Faye. Since moving here I haven't quite settled, either."

Elaine chuckled, then let it turn into a serious smile. "I wish I could bring you with me."

Gwen's amusement faded. "So… you're gonna go back to New York?"

"I think I need to… I need to talk to Arnie first. Then the kids. Although… I do need to consider how they will feel about everything. They love Arnie. I don't think they will have a problem moving back to New York, but when they talk about going home, I don't think they realize that Arnie wouldn't be coming with us."

"Then maybe you should talk to them first?"

"Is that fair to Arnie though? To have everyone know before him?"

"True…"

Elaine shook her head. "When did my life get so complicated?" Thinking a moment, she chuckled again. "Want to hear something ironic?"

"What?"

"Alex is the one who encouraged me to give Arnie a chance."

Gwen's eyes widened. "Did he really?"

"There was never any problem discussing our relationships. The nature of our relationship really has been platonic. I think had I moved in with Arnie in New York and got married or something nothing would have changed. Being away was what brought everything to the surface. I'm not counting on anything happening with him, but I need to go back home. I don't like who I've become here."

Looking down, she said through tear-filled eyes, "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you, too," Elaine reciprocated, leaning over with her arms extended.

"I am happy for you, though," Gwen said with a sniff. "I mean if things do work out the way you hope. As much as I've enjoyed knowing you, I can't say I've recognized the look in your eyes when I opened the door."

Pulling away, Elaine replied, "Oh?"

Gwen continued. "There's a lightness to your voice talking about going back. Like you've been freed of something."

"You're not just saying that to make me feel less guilty, are you?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, I mean it. Don't forget about me, all right? I want to get to know the 'New York' Elaine."

"I promise, she's a lot less of a train wreck… most days."

Gwen chuckled as she dabbed her eyes.

"You'll come and visit, won't you? You'll stay with us, of course. You and Faye both."

At the same time, both women were hit with a realization, looking over to Faye's bedroom door.

"Oh, no…" Elaine said.

"Do we tell them now?"

Thinking a moment, she then shook her head. "No, not yet. I do need to talk to Jennifer and Jason first. Would it be all right if both spent the night with you? It would be best if I can talk to Arnie alone."

"Absolutely," Gwen said, nudging Elaine's arm.

"Thank you. I'll drop them off later if all goes well…"

Crossing her fingers, she said, "Good luck."


	35. Longing For Home

Jason and Jennifer knew something was up when their mother brought them out for ice cream. They heard her say to Arnie it was under the grounds of discussing their punishment, but the addition of a treat aroused suspicion.

"If we're being punished, why are we getting ice cream?" Jennifer asked as they sat down at one of the outdoor tables.

"Yeah," Jason agreed. "And why haven't you yelled at me for going to the park?"

"I need to talk to you both," Elaine started, ignoring their questions.

Jennifer, less surprised by this than Jason, questioned, "What is it?"

"How would you feel about going back to New York?"

Both kids' faces lit up.

"You mean it?!"

Elaine nodded. "I think I do."

"Did Arnie get another new job?" Jason asked. "Is he going back to his old one?"

"That's the thing…" she said carefully. "It would be without Arnie."

Delight disappeared.

"Why?" Jennifer questioned.

"Did you break up?"

"Not yet, but I think I need to."

"How come?"

"I'm afraid it's not a simple answer. The best way to sum it up is that, after what happened yesterday at the airport, none of us are happy here."

The kids looked away with guilt.

"We're sorry," Jason said after a minute, Jennifer nodding along in agreement.

"I miss Daddy," Jennifer then said, burying her head in her mother's side.

"Me, too," Jason nodded.

"And I miss Erica and my friends. I hate my school here."

"I miss my soccer team. I miss knowing where everything is, too."

Elaine bit her lip. "So… are we in agreement?"

Looking up, face damp, Jennifer asked, "Would we really have to leave Arnie? Can't you ask if he'd come with us?"

"That's another thing," Elaine said. "I don't know if my relationship with him is working out."

"You haven't fought or anything though," Jason said.

"You don't have to fight to realize something isn't working. I haven't spoken to Arnie yet so please don't mention anything when we get home."

"Why isn't it working?" Jennifer questioned.

"Another long story for another time. Let's just focus on getting back home, all right?"

An amused grin suddenly crossed Jason's face. "Does it have to do with Alex?"

"I beg your pardon?"

He shrugged. "Interesting timing is all."

"Still, what would make you think he has anything to do with it."

"I heard you up late talking to him," Jason answered.

"… What did you hear?"

"Nothing. The walls muffled whatever you were saying."

"Oh," she said quickly and with relief.

Struck with realization, Jennifer added, "Is that why we went over to Gwen's as soon as you woke up? You told me and Faye to play in her room."

"Well, if you must know, he – Gwen, too – helped me realize some things. I'm not going to get into that now."

"It's okay, Mom," Jason said. "We know you used to like him."

Shocked, Elaine asked, "How on earth would you know that?"

"He was over all the time," Jennifer observed.

"And you always talk about him."

"And you go out with him a lot."

"And—"

"All right, all right," Elaine halted. "So maybe you're on to something…"

Jason and Jennifer laughed.

Elaine shook her head. "This isn't about Alex right now. You're _positive_ you're okay with leaving Arnie? I know how much you love him."

Hugging Elaine's arm, Jennifer said, "I'd rather have my old Mommy back."

"Yeah…" Jason agreed. "You've been different since we moved."

Jennifer nodded. "Will you have to drive again, though? I like having you home."

"I'm afraid so," she sighed.

"Marry Alex," Jason teased, sticking his tongue out.

Elaine rolled her eyes. "Let that one go for now. Finish your ice creams. I need to talk to Arnie tonight. I'm going to bring you over to Gwen's in a little while."

Jason groaned. "So that's my punishment for going to the park? Sharing a room with Jennifer and the kid?"

Jennifer glared.

"Isn't it worth it to be going home?" Elaine questioned.

Jason nodded, having to smile. Home sounded nice.


	36. Confession

"Arnie… can we talk?"

Elaine had procrastinated as long as she could, cleaning up the dinner mess. What an uncomfortable meal it had been. Much like the kids going to the ice cream shop, Arnie knew something was up when the kids, supposedly in trouble, were suddenly shuttled off to a sleepover. He wasn't complaining, though. It was nice to have a quiet evening without them.

Looking up from the TV, he grinned, "Always, sweetheart."

Picking up the remote, Elaine turned off the tube, sitting down next to him, hands shaking with nerves.

"What's the matter?" he questioned.

"I… I have no idea how to begin."

"You're making me nervous. What happened?"

"No one's hurt or anything," she assured. "I just don't want to hurt you, and I'm afraid I will."

"I don't know if I like where this is going," he said, looking away.

"Arnie… I can't thank you enough for taking care of us the last few months, dealing with my moodiness and frankly, my self-centeredness."

"Cut to the chase, Elaine," he said firmly. "You're breaking up with me."

Her breath caught a moment. "Please… hear me out."

Arnie stood and paced. "I can't say I'm exactly surprised. I know you're not happy here."

"I hate that it's been so obvious."

He shook his head. "I should have known New York would have brought back trouble. Is that what Alex was doing here? Is he helping you move?"

She shook her head. "He doesn't know I've decided to move back. I know I haven't explained fully yet what happened. I wanted to start with that."

"Does it matter now?"

"Sort of."

"Fine," he grumbled. "Go on."

She explained the scene at the airport along with bits and pieces of her discussion with them that afternoon as well. She explained Alex's letter, a more painful task than she'd anticipated. She explained her confusion and the rut she felt she and Arnie were in together. Above all, she apologized for ever having let things go so far, and for not stepping aside when she should have.

"It was never my intention for any of this to happen. I really don't know how it did. I thought I was ready to move on and leave things behind. I _wanted_ to. I wanted a normal life."

"You'll have that with Alex," Arnie said bitterly.

"I don't know if I should be with anyone right now," she said truthfully. "I don't know what will happen with him. I didn't think I would ever consider it. Not anymore. But I can't in good conscience stay together with you when I'm so uncertain about everything."

"I'm willing to wait it out."

"And what, have me and the kids continue living here and ignore any problems?"

"I have no problem with that."

Elaine sighed and reached out to stroke his cheek. "It's not right. I need to go back to New York. The kids miss their father, too." She shook her head. "Maybe I wouldn't be feeling this way if we'd eased into this slowly. I should have stayed behind and prepared better. I should have given them more time to say goodbye… I don't know. We tried too much too soon between moving in together and changing cities. Nothing's changed in our relationship. I haven't had the mindset to work on it. I didn't realize it until reading Alex's letter."

"You don't have to make excuses," he snapped. "You can admit you're in love with Alex. I should have seen it before."

"It's not an excuse," she said. "It's the truth. It's difficult to explain things with Alex, but my decision isn't centered on him. After all this time I shouldn't be so hung up on the move. You deserve someone who's able to give you the attention you deserve. I resent not being able to be that person."

Arnie was quiet for a while, still pacing around. Elaine watched him quietly, wishing for the right words of solace. When Arnie spoke again, the tension in her shoulders relaxed a bit.

"I guess it isn't fair to put all of this on you. It was obvious as soon as I told you about moving here you didn't want to come."

"I wanted to for you."

"I know," he somewhat smiled. "And that meant a lot to me. But I don't want to be the reason you're unhappy. And you can't say that you didn't put anything into our relationship. I know I've shied away from the whole marriage thing. I don't know why I've tried to avoid that discussion. I know I have."

"Because things have been hectic for you, too," Elaine explained. "You have a lot going on at work and it's a new job. It's a new city for you also."

"I've settled down easier than you have."

"I know. And I'm glad of it. You've changed a lot since we've been here. You're not so bumbling and nervous. I've liked seeing that."

"But not enough to keep you around?" he wondered, hopeless as it was.

"Arnie…"

"I know, I know. I'm making things worse for myself."

"If things were different—"

"I shouldn't have taken the job."

"Don't say that. You needed to do this for yourself."

"But I'm losing you because of it."

Standing up, Elaine walked over to him, stopping him. "I promise, you'll find someone wonderful here."

Arnie scoffed. "You realize you're the first woman to give me a second date since I was a kid? I don't know if you've noticed but I'm not the most attractive man in the world."

"It's your lack of confidence that's unattractive. As I said, you've been surer of yourself the longer we've been here. My reasons for suggesting we break things off are self-centered – and I hate myself for it. Overall, I think we have a stable relationship, but there are things here and there that make problems. I've learned that I'm not the most supportive partner in the world, something I desperately need to improve upon."

"That doesn't seem like enough," he said.

"Do we need to keep going around in circles?" she said with a hint of aggravation.

"What if we got married? Despite my avoidance, I've assumed we would. Someday. Is that what this is about?"

She shook her head. "Only a small part. I've wondered why the thought seems to scare you but marriage won't solve the other problems. There's more to it that I've already explained, New York is the key thing."

"So, if I said I'd move back to New York, would you stay with me?"

Elaine only managed to keep their eye contact for a few seconds before having to look away.

"I don't need to be lied to. I think I deserve the truth," Arnie demanded. "What is it about me that's driven you away? Or admit you want to go back and be with someone else."

"The whole truth?"

"The whole truth," he repeated.

Turning around and pacing now herself, she began. "The truth is that there's a lack of chemistry between us. It's something I've been aware of even before Chicago was even a thought. But I was okay with it... or thought I was. That's the best way I can sum up every piece of this. I haven't been unhappy with you. I haven't been entirely unhappy living in Chicago, either. I'm grateful to have met Gwen and I've learned a lot being in a different sector of the art world. It's been a growing experience for sure. It's also been nice living normally for a change – how I imagined my life would be like when Jason and Jennifer were little. Why I would want to give that up, I'm not really sure. But being back home and with everyone from the garage again… I realized how lucky I've been to have such a strong support group. I feel like I abandoned Simka when she needed me. I remember how uncertain I was when Jason was born. I was away from my family and new to the city and hardly knew anyone outside of my ex-husband's friends. Not that the guys haven't been supportive of Simka, but it's different. She needs me around. And yes, I have to consider Alex, too. I know you must be thinking that he and I have this big history. We don't. Not really. If I could put it into words, I would. He's been there for me through everything since we met. Being away from him I realized what an influence he was on me. He helped with the kids or pushed me through situations I didn't feel I could. I relied on him more than I like to admit to myself. Having that support gone contributed to a lot of my moods here."

Arnie questioned, "Why couldn't you have come to me for support?"

"Either I was worried to upset you or tried and it was brushed off."

"When?"

"The best example that comes to mind is anything involving the kids. When we didn't know what was going on with Jennifer, you left it to me. And I get it, that role intimidates you. It's just that sometimes I need outside help. I did tell you when we moved in together that I wanted your input when things arose with them. You're wonderful with the fun things, and they are heartbroken to be leaving you here, but we're past the fun part. The older they get, the more challenging raising them will be. Already they go to you when I'm being strict. Jason knew not to go to the park today. I don't blame you as I hadn't had the chance to tell you what happened and I don't know if Jennifer said the same thing to you as she did to me. It's just an example."

Arnie couldn't deny his passive response to things, still, he said, "I wish this wasn't the way you were telling me."

"Me, too… I honestly didn't realize. Not in a way I could put into words."

"If the kids know, there's really no changing your mind, is there?"

Pursing her lips, Elaine answered, "I'm afraid not."

"Well…" he mumbled. "I guess it's better to find out now than whenever we did get married."

"I am so incredibly sorry." Hugging him, she finished, "I do love you, and please, believe me when I say part of me doesn't want to leave. But it's what I need to do. I've tried working through this. So hard." Pulling back, she shook her head. "I wanted to make this work."

"So did I."

"And I'm sorry I never spoke to you about any of this before. I didn't want to worry you if there wasn't a need for it. Now I guess I should have."

Arnie sighed. "I knew something was going on but I wasn't sure what. I didn't want to know, so I didn't ask. I guess I knew what it was, though I didn't expect to hear you might be interested in someone else. Least of all someone I knew."

"If there's any way I can make it up to you… I know you went out of your way financially for this place, too."

Waving his hand, he said, "Forget about it. It was worth it while it lasted."

"I'm sorry."

"Do I get to say goodbye to the kids?"

"Of course," she said sadly. "They wouldn't leave without doing so."

"Good."

"Would you rather I leave now? I can stay at Gwen's. It's going to take a couple of days to pack up and everything… I can do it when you're at work."

"No," Arnie said quickly. "Please stay tonight."

"Okay…"

"And would you stay here while you pack? I'll sleep on the couch or something. Just for a few more days with you and the kids."

Surprised it'd taken this long for her tears to surface, she cried, "Won't that make it more difficult for you?"

"Probably," he answered. "But it will let me wrap my mind around it before the house is empty."

"I owe you that much."

"I can't believe this is it."

"I wish you so much happiness, Arnie. I wouldn't trade this past year and a half for anything."

"Neither would I," he solemnly agreed.


	37. Goodbye, Gwen

As much as Elaine would have loved to have moved directly from Arnie's apartment to one of her own in New York, it was hardly that simple. She counted her blessings for Gwen, her hero every step of the way and making room for three extended houseguests.

The schools weren't thrilled at the notion of another transfer. Christmas break was still a couple of weeks away, and it made the most sense to wait until the New Year. Of course, this added to her persisting guilt about leaving Arnie. She'd hardly remembered the holiday and hadn't decorated a bit. Fortunately, Gwen was well prepared on that front, but nothing she could say took her mind off of how lonely Arnie must be. This eventually led to a phone call, asking Arnie if he wanted to join in their festivities. Despite his rejections, come Christmas Day he showed up at Gwen's door. As bittersweet as it was, both Arnie and Elaine were happy to share the day as their last memory all together.

Come 1985, it became clear that apartment searching by phone was getting her nowhere. If not for Vince, the kids would have been starting school again in Chicago.

"I'm not looking forward to traveling with them again," Elaine said the night before the flight.

"It will be fine," Gwen assured, sitting on Elaine's suitcase while she zippered it. "It's different this time."

"I'm glad Vince is being so agreeable. I think it's been harder on him not seeing the kids than he wants to admit." Zipping the last side, she finished by saying, "There."

Gwen hopped down from the bed. "How long do you think you'll be there?"

"Hopefully not long. I can't afford a hotel for more than a few days. I'm praying I can find a big enough apartment in my price range. That's always the biggest struggle."

"You can't stay with one of your friends?"

"They don't even know I'm coming. I never called Alex. Not intentionally, but with everything going on I didn't think of it until too late. There's way too much to talk about for a phone conversation. I don't want to tell the others because it will get back to him. Staying with him is out of the question, Latka and Simka didn't have the room even before the baby was born, Louie, forget it, and the others I don't want to impose. I haven't kept in touch enough."

Gritting her teeth, Gwen said, "Good luck."

"I'll need it," Elaine muttered to herself.

After a moment, Gwen added, "I still can't believe you're going. I know you'll be back for your things but it isn't the same."

"I kind of can't believe it either. I was so determined to figure things out with Arnie and start over here. I was excited about it at first. I don't know what happened."

"You denied yourself, that's what."

"People move and make changes all the time. Why can't I?"

"Because you found a place where you belong. That's all anyone wants out of life."

"You've lived a few different places," Elaine started. "Did you ever go through this?"

"Not really," she admitted. "But I was always looking for that place where everything made sense. I did for a while, but things change. That's when people start over. It sounds like you were happy with how things used to be."

"That's what baffles me. I spent all that time waiting for change. I felt stuck at the garage and at a standstill at the gallery. I wanted so much more. I finally got it, and I blew it."

Gwen tapped Elaine's wrist. "Stop being so hard on yourself. It didn't work for you. Plain as that. No shame in making another change."

"At Arnie's expense," Elaine added bitterly. "And let's not forget I'm harboring the thought of Alex, who probably isn't going to be as readily open to the idea of finally giving us a try."

"He wrote the letter, didn't he?"

"Only because he thought I would never read it. He's always terrible at expressing any kind of affection. Not just with me. I can't tell you how many times I've had to push him to open up to a woman."

Coyly, Gwen mused, "Ironic, hmm?"

"Don't get my hopes up."

"I'm just saying don't give up yet."

"I'm moving back there, aren't I?" Elaine said. "I pray the gallery will hire me back. I haven't been too worried on the job front. Maybe I should be. At least I have more connections in New York than I did here. I sure got lucky."

"Have you told them you're leaving yet?"

Elaine nodded. "Yes, Mildred was a dear about the whole thing. I'll stop in again before I leave for good. I'll miss them all. I got more attached than I realized."

Sitting back down on the bed, Gwen said, "I'm sure gonna miss having you here."

Elaine sat next to her. "You ever think you'd consider moving to New York?"

"In a second if I could afford it," she chuckled bitterly. "And knowing someone who already has connections to buyers? It would be a dream come true."

"Maybe I'll have to find an apartment to fit all of us," Elaine said squeezing her arm.

"Oh please. You'll be married to Alex before you know it."

Elaine rolled her eyes. "You met him for less than an hour. You're too optimistic."

"You're too pessimistic."

Standing up again, Elaine went back to stuffing another suitcase. "We'll make it happen someday – moving you to New York. I refuse to get too involved with any thoughts surrounding Alex until I've seen him again."


	38. Finally

Traveling with the kids was uneventful, even pleasant this time around. A sense of relief lingered between them, elated their midwestern adventure would soon be coming to a close. After leaving the kids with Vince, Elaine meandered to the hotel, happy to have some time to herself in her city. Every block she passed, she was reassured she hadn't made a fool-hearted decision. Maybe Gwen was onto something saying a positive change wouldn't have caused so much angst.

While she's convinced herself her long walk was a means to kill time before she was allowed to check in to her room, once her bags were dropped and in the quiet of the cramped and dusty room, she had to admit she was procrastinating. With it being too late in the day for apartment hunting, seeing Alex was her priority. The clock taunted her, a constant reminder that the longer she waited the more likely she'd have to speak with him under the scrutiny of the other drivers at the garage.

She was relieved when he answered his door. That relief didn't last, however, as the expression on his face upon seeing her turned almost cold, only offset by a hint of confusion.

"Elaine?" he said after some time.

"Hi, Alex."

"What are you doing here?"

"I want to talk to you."

Stepping aside to let her in, reluctance notwithstanding, he said, "You came all the way to New York?"

In hopes to get to the matter she wanted to discuss, she answered, "I'm moving back."

"You're what?"

"What's difficult to understand about that?"

"The part where you're moving back."

She chuckled. "I don't know why. I told you I wanted to come home."

"And you got Arnie to agree with it?" he questioned.

"I broke up with him."

"You what?"

"Did I pick up a midwestern accent in Chicago or something?"

Unamused, Alex said while he took her arm and led her over to the sofa, "Why would you do a thing like that?"

"I already told you why."

"I'm serious, Elaine."

"So am I. I told you I was having second thoughts. I told you I wanted to come back to New York."

"Why didn't you call?" he said once he'd turn away. "You could have told me you were leaving Chicago."

"I broke up with Arnie the next night. Then I was moving out and getting settled at Gwen's so I could look for a place here and let the kids get through to vacation. I'm technically not moved back yet. It was too difficult to find an apartment without seeing it, at least for my price range. I brought the kids to their father's. It's been so crazy. By the time I thought of calling, too much time had passed. Besides, there's a lot to be said for it to be a long-distance phone call."

"I didn't think I'd hear from you again," he said.

"I'm sorry."

Hearing the hurt that'd come through with his last sentence, he switched gears to cover. "So… how long are you here then."

"A few days. I hope to find something in that time."

"I guess I can help you look… I mean, if you have to go back before then."

Weakly smiling, she thanked him. Then moving to the edge of the couch, trying to get his attention to turn back on her, she said, "You know there's a lot more to talk about than moving plans."

Refusing to give in, he said, "I figured."

Elaine sighed. "I know you're probably thinking I made this decision expecting you to agree to give us a try. I don't expect anything from you. My only wish is to have you in my life again… one way or another."

Alex glanced at her.

She went on. "I want a clean slate. Here and now we need to be honest with each other and go from there. Finding out how you feel… felt… however it is, it made me realize how crazy I am about you. That and being away. I would love to see what happens if we give ourselves a chance and I'll admit that's been my hope. Just know that I don't expect you to say you want the same thing. I haven't forgotten why we've avoided it. I've had a lot of time to think things through and I'm prepared for you to tell me friendship is as far as it goes. I just want you to know how I feel and not play this guessing game anymore. I love you, Alex. That won't change whether we're friends or more. You mean so much to me and all I care about is not losing you again. I'm sorry I've handled things so poorly."

"What about Arnie?" was all he could ask.

"In the past," she answered. "Your answer won't make a difference. I would have figured out things weren't working with him with or without you. If anything, you gave me the courage to leave while I still could. If I'm being brutally honest, I tried so hard to make it work because I wanted to believe Simka saw something in him that was good for me. I suppose he was in a way, but at the end of the day, I wasn't happy."

"But—"

"But nothing. I made my decision and I don't regret it. I know I sprung this on you. You don't have to say anything tonight if you don't want to. I just wanted you to know that I'm coming back to New York and where I stand on things between us." Taking his hand, she finished, "As I said, I'm prepared for you to feel otherwise. The last thing I want is for us to start a relationship under pressure or a sense of obligation."

Alex nodded, but continued to keep his eyes from meeting hers directly. Elaine waited a moment for him to speak. When he didn't she started to step away, about to tell him she would give him some space. To her surprise, he maintained his hold on her hand, pulling her back.

"Maybe it's worth the risk," he said softly.

Trying not to sound too hopeful, she replied, "Really?"

At last meeting her eye, Alex nodded again. "Feeling like I'd lost you is something I never wish to go through again. I'd convinced myself after our last conversation that you were gone for good. I know that we could probably go back to how things were… but I don't have the heart. I love you, too, Elaine. I'd be an idiot to convince myself again that I don't want to share my life with you. You mean everything to me."

Elaine, too overcome for words, responded by hugging him, holding on tightly and letting the last few months melt away from her memory as long as she could manage. Alex held back, burying his nose in her hair as he kissed her head.

"I've missed you so much," she mumbled against his shoulder after some time.

"I've missed you, too." Then pulling back, though not quite stepping away, cupped her face in his hands. If not for the knocking at the door he would have kissed her.

His shoulder dropped as his hands fell to his sides. "Simka…" he grumbled.

"Simka?"

"Almost daily she's been hounding me to call you or fly out to you."

"Did you tell her?" she questioned.

Alex answered guiltily, "Yeah… but not in detail. I figured she knew, honestly. She said something about her being wrong setting you up with Arnie and that you and I were meant to be together."

"Oh, really?" Elaine grinned, her eyebrows slightly raised.

"Reiger! Open up!" Simka called when there was no answer.

Taking Alex's hand, Elaine pulled him to the door. "Open," she said just before she kissed him.

Doing as he was told, he flung the door open with his free hand, the other taking hold of Elaine.

Simka charged in and passed them, scolding him with her usual speech, not even noticing the two until she turned back.

"Elaine!" she screeched. "You're here! And you're with Alex?!"

Pulling away from him with a laugh, Elaine laughed. "I am."

"Finally!" Simka yelled, punching Alex's arm. "What took you so long?"

Flinching back, he replied, "Does it matter?"

"Yes, because if you waited for her to show you get another blow."

"It's all right, Simka. How about a hello hug instead?"

Simka gave in, saying, "He is still a stubborn old goat."

With a chuckle, Elaine stepped back from her and reached out for Alex's hand. "And I love him for it."

Smiling ear to ear, Simka clasped her hands together. "I am loving this already! Why didn't you tell me you were coming, Elaine? I would have told Latka I would be gone longer."

"Why don't you meet us at the garage tomorrow and we can explain it to everyone? And bring Amanda. I miss her terribly!"

"All right," she whined with impatience, "but feel free to call me later with a sneak peek. Remember who set you up!"

"Simka—" Alex started, not getting far before Elaine's elbow made its way into his side.

"Let it go," she mumbled.

Almost dancing to the door, Simka said, "I have to go tell Latka and Amanda the wonderful news! And remember, Elaine, _call me_. I'm still mad at you for not telling me when we last spoke."

Amused, Elaine said, "I promise."

Satisfied with this, Simka waved goodbye to the both of them, slamming the door behind her in her rush. Alex and Elaine looked at each other and laughed.

"We'll have to get our stories straight tonight," Elaine said, reaching up and settling her arms around his shoulders. "No reason they should know the whole thing."

Alex nodded, resting his hands on her hips. "Please, let's come up with a version that spares me the most embarrassment. Simka already blabbed about the letter."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"I regret I didn't say everything in person," he sighed.

"There's plenty of time now."

"You mean right this second?"

"Eh," she said with a shrug of her shoulders, "it can wait a little while longer."

With a chuckle and roll of his eyes, Alex resumed the position he'd taken before Simka's interruption. "Welcome back, Elaine."

**The end.**


End file.
